“My Diet is Better Than Yours” (KOAT-7 8pm) If you can’t get enough of watching other people lose weight, here’s another show in which people will diet and exercise for your amusement, you sick bastard.
“Angel From Hell” (KRQE-13 8:30pm) I can almost guarantee the idea for this sitcom sounds funnier in theory that practice: Jane Lynch plays a drunken, mean-spirited guardian angel to a successful doctor. Hijinks ensue.
“Shades of Blue” (KOB-4 9pm) Jennifer Lopez, deciding her talents are better suited for the small screen (her last film, The Boy Next Door, would certainly agree), goes primetime cop drama. She plays a crooked New York police officer (and single mom, of course) recruited by the FBI to become an informant.
“Ex Isle” (WE 11pm) Former couples seek “closure” on a tropical isle ... and in front of TV cameras. Carmen Electra hosts this reverse dating show—which is exciting news to pubescent boys in 1997.
My Sweet Audrina (Lifetime 6pm) Author V.C. Andrews of Flowers in the Attic infamy gets another of her “lurid lite” Gothic thrillers adapted to television. We get rape, murder, post traumatic stress disorder, self-hypnosis, nymphomania, diabetes, autism, “brittle bone disease” and—of course—a big, creepy house.
“MythBusters: The Explosion Special” (Discovery 6pm) MythBusters Adam and Jamie kick off their 14th (and final) season with a bang.
“The 73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards” (KOB-4 6pm) Funny-mean host Ricky Gervais takes the starch out of various well-paid Hollywood stars.
Murder, She Baked: A Peach Cobbler Mystery (Hallmark Movie Channel 7pm) If you’re not an 80-year-old grandmother, this quaint crime story involving pastries is not for you.
“Fashion Police: The 2016 Golden Globe Awards” (E! 9pm) Kathy Griffin is out and Margaret Cho is in. The catty digs on weirdly dressed starlets remain.
“MADtv 20th Anniversary Reunion” (KWBQ-19 7pm) Ike Barinholtz, Alex Borstein, Mo Collins, Crista Flanagan, Anjelah Johnson, Keegan-Michael Key, Phil LaMarr, Artie Lange, Bobby Lee and others reunite for some ’90s-nostalgic sketch comedy action.
“Shadowhunters” (Freeform 7:02pm) Cassandra Clare’s young adult book series (about sexy, young angels fighting sexy, young demons) got turned into the none-too-successful 2013 feature The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones. Now Freeform (formerly ABC Family) tries again with a TV show.
“Second Chance” (KASA-2 8pm) In this Frankenstein-esque cop show, a 75-year-old sheriff is resurrected as a younger (and, conveniently, superpowered) version of himself by billionaire scientists. Because everything has to be a cop show these days.
“Teachers” (TV Land 9:02pm) All six members of viral video sketch comedy troupe the Katydids (all of whom are named some form of “Katie”) star in this sitcom about a bunch of largely inappropriate elementary school teachers.