Alibi V.27 No.20 • May 17-23, 2018

Week in Sloth

Thursday 17

“Bringing Up Bates: The Bates Royal Wedding Celebration!” (UP 7pm) Kelly Jo Bates (and by slight extension, her husband Gil) squeezed out 19 babies like a Play-Doh Fun Factory stocked with nothing but off-white Play-Doh. Naturally, this qualified them for their own reality show. Here, in this timely special, the family gears up to the Royal Wedding in England by showing clips from their “best” wedding moments.

Friday 18

“Harry and Meghan: A Love Story” (KWBQ-19 7pm) The CW gets its Harry and Meghan special in just under the wire.

Saturday 19

“Coverage of the Royal Wedding”/“The Royal Wedding”/“The Royal Wedding Live” (KRQE-13/CNN/BBC America 2am) Sure, coverage will continue all day on just about every network around the dial. But the truly addicted get their Anglophilia on starting at 2am with live coverage.

“The Royal Wedding Live With Cord and Tish!” (HBO 5:30am) HBO’s awful commentating duo, Cord Hosenbeck and Tish Cattigan (improvised, without breaking character, by Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon), offer up blow-by-blow feedback on the Royal Wedding.

Fahrenheit 451 (HBO 6pm) Ray Bradbury’s controversy-courting novel about a future full of book-burning fascists comes to life with Michael B. Jordan and Michael Shannon in the lead roles.

Sunday 20

“2018 Billboard Music Awards” (KOB-4 7pm) Ariana Grande, Demi Lovato, Kelly Clarkson, Jennifer Lopez, Ed Sheeran—all the usual suspects—perform.

“Joe Pera Talks With You” (Adult Swim 1am) Creepily sincere and painfully low-key comedian (or is he?) Joe Pera stars as Joe Pera, a teacher in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula who explores such topics as breakfast, dancing and favorite minerals on this odd, “educational” talk show.

Monday 21

“2018 Miss USA Competition” (KRQEDT2 7pm) Vanessa and Nick Lachey host this year’s 67th annual competition. Damn, I am really gonna miss outgoing Miss USA 2017, Kára McCollough. (She’s an “equalist,” not a feminist, ya know.)

Tuesday 22

“Mob Psycho 100” (Netflix streaming anytime) The Japanese “webmanga” by ONE (creator of “One Punch Man”) gets a live-action adaptation. In it, a high schooler with psychic powers is stalked by a secretive organization.

“The Great American Read” (KNME-5 7pm) Meredith Viera takes viewers on a road trip across our nation to uncover America’s 100 most-loved novels. If honest, this is just gonna be people talking about Twilight, 50 Shades of Grey and the instruction manual for Minecraft.

“Our Wild Life” (TLC 8:03pm) TV loves overextended families. Here we have a reality show about the Abrams family, which has adopted over 80 animals—from alpacas to zebras.

Wednesday 23

“Explained” (Netflix streaming anytime) Netflix’s new documentary series explains nagging questions, like: How does cryptocurrency work, why do diets fail and what the hell is K-pop?

“The Split” (Sundance 11pm) In this dramatic British import, a family of female divorce lawyers are forced to face their past when their estranged father returns after a 30-year absence. Now that’s what I call an awkward Thanksgiving.