Alibi V.28 No.27 • July 4-10, 2019 

Week in Sloth

Thursday 4

See “Idiot Box.”

Friday 5

Trapped Model (Lifetime 6pm) “Inspired by true events,” this Lifetime movie stalks an aspiring model (Lucy Loken, star of Dad Crush a.k.a My Teacher, My Obsession) who gets kidnapped by a fashion photographer to serve as the next star of his sexy snuff website.

Saturday 6

Enchanted Kingdom” (BBC America 7pm) This nature documentary explores the sights and sounds of Africa—just in time for Disney’s The Lion King.

“Supersize My Pool” (HGTV 7pm) “Ultimate Pools,” “Pool Kings” and “Insane Pools: Off The Deep End” just not enough swimming pool-based reality shows for you? Well, here’s another.

Sunday 7

“Evel Live 2” (History 6pm) Last summer Nitro Circus rider Travis Pastrana recreated three of Evel Knievel’s most famous stunts. Now, he stands on the sidelines and hosts as Axell Hodges tries to break the Kneivel family world record by jumping over 24 beverage trucks.

Christmas Camp (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries 7pm) Hallmark just can’t wait until December to start unleashing its holiday-themed rom-coms about uptight, overworked female executives who somehow fall in love with artsy, rural hunks trying to keep their family’s old-fashioned factories/stores/farms afloat. So here’s one in July.

“The Movies” (CNN 7pm) CNN documents the history of popular film, starting with the Spielberg-filled ’80s.

“The Strongest Man in History” (History 9pm) Musclemen of today test their strength against ancient legends, pulling swords from stones and what have you.

“Peabody Presents: Stories of the Year” (FX 11:30pm) Journalist Ronan Farrow hosts and comedian Hasan Minhaj moderates this roundtable discussion of race, the LGBTQ+ experience, the #MeToo movement and journalistic integrity.

Monday 8

“Chuck Norris’ Epic Guide to Military Vehicles” (History 7pm) It’s Car Week on History, and Chuck helps celebrate with a look at the toughest vehicles in military history.

Tuesday 9

“Love Island” (KRQE-13 7pm) It’s summer, so here’s a reality dating show with people in bikinis.

“The Disappearance” (WGN 8pm) This six-part psychological family drama centers on the “unexplained and sudden” disappearance of a young boy on his 10th birthday. Peter Coyote heads the ensemble cast.

“Bring the Funny” (KOB-4 9:01pm) It’s summer, so here’s a talent show competition with amateur comedians.

Wednesday 10

“The 2019 ESPYs: From Los Angeles” (KOAT-7 7pm) Because successful sports personalities deserve to win trophies for a change.

“Battle of the 80s Supercars with David Hasselhoff” (History 6pm) David Hasselhoff (who gets name-checked in the title, and is—I’m gonna assume—contractually guaranteed to win) pits his “Knight Rider” KITT car against Dirk Benedict’s “The A-Team” van and Erik Estrada’s “CHiPs” motorcycle in a one-of-a-kind pop cultural race.

“Florida Girls” (Pop 8pm) From the writer-producer of “The Mick” (meh) comes this ensemble comedy about four young women living in a dilapidated beach town and “partying under the poverty line” while learning “how to adult.”