Alibi V.28 No.47 • Nov 21-27, 2019 

Food on the Move

Slice Of Turkey, Slice Of Heaven

Richie B’s Pizza debuts bizarre, amazing slice

Thanksgiving slice
Behold! Thanksgiving slice!
Dan Pennington

I come to you with an apology. This week, I planned to create a guide on how to make your own turkey for Thanksgiving if you’ve never done it before. Namely, it would have followed my misadventures in the kitchen as I worked to craft the perfect bird for friends and family at a large get-together. Obviously, I failed. It turns out that the difference between a great turkey and an okay turkey is really vast, and I won’t bring you anything that isn’t great. So what was I to do? I had run out of options for preparing the feast and was in a bind. I had built up the craving for a Thanksgiving dinner, but we’re still a whole week away. What could possibly sate this need?

Enter Richie B’s Pizza, stage right. Last time we spoke with them, they had just launched the monster slice and were teasing new and interesting things on the horizon. Well, new things are here, and, man, they deliver on the interesting.

Welcome to the Thanksgiving Slice, something that sounds like a concept pulled straight out of “How I Met Your Mother.” An entire Thanksgiving dinner worth of goodies decorating a single slice. Included are turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberries, cheddar cheese and, of course, gravy. Now, I am sure there are a number of you who recoiled in shock while reading that. I was one of you! This was too wild, I thought. But, as you, the reader, have trusted me, the food boy of Weekly Alibi, I felt it my duty to go try it for myself so that you would know if it was worth your interest and time.

As it turns out, it was. I don’t know how else to describe it besides that it literally tastes like a Thanksgiving dinner, but without politics being yelled across the table, making it awkward. Using fresh turkey, you get that juicy, meaty base to the bite, with large chunks laid out across the bottom layer. Next was the mashed potatoes, hefty piles of soft potatoes covering other unoccupied spaces, which were warm and fluffy and hard not to love. Not to be outdone, the stuffing stepped up next, with a nice mesh of bread and veggies to give a little substance to the rest of the slice. Finally, I met the cranberry. I’m typically not a fan of cranberries during Thanksgiving. Call me a heathen, whatever, it’s just never been a thing that I cared for. Yet somehow, in tandem with everything else on the plate, the cranberry flavor just pops off and becomes an integral part to making this slice work. The sweetness lent by the cranberries gives the dish a dynamic edge that is the core reason for why it works. Sure, everything up to this point was good, but the cranberries made it work on a level worth writing about. Fortune favors the bold, in this case.

Not content to settle on just a single creation, they went and hit me in my weak spot. A pumpkin pie cannoli. Could it be, my eternal love for pumpkin married to my insatiable desire for Italian desserts, all in one space? This dish danced precariously on the line of having to do nothing to make me love it, and having to excel in every category so as to not let me down. I am pleased to tell you it walked that line with grace and finesse. Featuring a pumpkin pie cannoli filling, the standard cannoli shell, chopped pecans and of course whipped cream with a dusting of pumpkin pie spice, this was truly the best of both worlds. Hosting the sweetness I craved from a cannoli with the subtle earthy tones found in pumpkin, it was exactly the dessert my body has been craving for a long time.

I can espouse the magic of these two bold forays into culinary experimentation all I want, but the real test is for you to go try it. Thankfully, you have an option to do so easily. Right now, Richie B’s (7200 Montgomery Blvd. NE) is offering the Thanksgiving slice, the pumpkin pie cannoli and a drink for $10. Maybe you aren’t going to have Thanksgiving plans this year, but you, like me, have a craving for the year’s most important meal. This is one of the simplest ways to get your fill without going over the top. But don’t forget to grab a second slice. The leftovers are part of the tradition, and you can’t afford to miss out on a second chance at it the next day while you’re nursing your tryptophan hangover.