While unlikely to happen soon, legal recreational cannabis use is closer than ever to becoming reality in New Mexico.

Fat lady who fell in comical fashion while riding a scooter and shopping for gallons of soda pop in a Walmart is speaking out about how everyone is laughing at her and it isn't funny.

President Trump wants you to know that there are thousands of terrorist attacks killing innocent midwest farmers and average Euro Svens news of which is being suppressed by evil media companies. Like Weekly Alibi, for instance. We could have reported on the briefcase nuke that destroyed UNM's Valencia campus, but rah rah terrorism (raspberry sound).

There isn't any actual skateboarding but still, this Russian skater is pretty damn high up in the air on the edge of a skyscraper, uh ... with his skateboard.

A spectacular meteor zoomed across a pile of states and part of Canada Monday morning.

Finally we may rest assured that huge amounts of LSD will not "fry" your brain and turn it into swiss cheese on a stale Trisket. You might develop a mental problem tho but that's different.

Let us all—all of us adults—enjoy Alistair Crowley's completely obscene 666 word poem about his girlfriend, who, in a tamer moment, he once compared to a hoover vacuum.

Here for your further enjoyment or, maybe, just to induce uncontrollable rage, is every tweet Trump has tweeted in the time he has had the POTUS Twitter account!

Looks like two senators are finally taking a stand on gun control in a "filibuster-style blockade."

You can watch it live right now!

In Florida, it's easier to get a gun than solar panels, a driver's license, an abortion, an exotic pet...

The Dog Head Fire is burning without containment.

A badass Twitter user is calling out politicians who are "praying for Orlando" but refuse to support gun control laws.

Check out this heroic Rio Rancho teen.

Look back at the history of the gun control debate.

A state worker started a relationship with Nehemiah Griego.

What does a map of a hallucination look like?

This is the first mammal to go extinct from global warming.

Did you know noise has color?

A Siamang monkey escaped from the Biopark Zoo this weekend and I missed it.

Oklahoma and Nebraska no to the Colorado ganja.

Here comes Peter Cottontail, hoppin’ through a New Jersey mall, throwin’ punches in a brawl.

When Starbucks gives you a little instead of a latte.

HashtagTeamApple.

First impressions are literally everything.

It’s been proven that the early 2000’s will obviously never die. Now what about bringing back those 2000’s fashion trends?

Kalamazoo gunman suspect charged with 6 counts of murder.

Kesha’s court battle with her producer has everyone riled up and it’s for a damn good reason.

My heart strings are about to be tugged right out of my chest because what can be sweeter than this?

Jeb Bush has parted ways with the 2016 Presidential election, folks.

FBI VS Apple. Who will win?

For 2 minutes and 40 seconds I forgot that this Game of Thrones and Donald Trump mashup actually has real footage of things Donald Trump has said.

Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool is the best of all time.

Peyton Manning is facing some harsh allegations.

I bet Donald Trump was that kid who got picked last by all his classmates growing up. I mean, what else would explain his ridiculous actions?

But how does one get themselves $53M in debt?

Saturday Night Live has added 10 more years to my life with the most accurate and hilarious skit.

Whole Foods is my real American Dream.

Lady Gaga pays tribute to legendary prince David Bowie.

Life has never been more clear and I owe it all to this life hack that has changed my life for the greater good.

Nothing says home like New Mexico’s inconsistent weather.

The best things in life come from doughnut boxes.

Is a Republican debate really a debate without someone mentioning Donald Trump?

Tommy Chong feels the Bern and believes you should, too.

The CIA just dropped UFO documents and my inner conspiracy theorist is ready to show.

Kanye West wants us all to be on the same page about what he doesn’t like in the bedroom.

My millennium aesthetic heart is about to combust over this lip-sync battle.

It’s beginning to look a lot like winter for the East Coast.

It’s 2016 and Charlotte Rampling doesn’t remember the decade she’s in and the purpose behind the Oscars boycott.

Donald Trump and the people who work from him seem to forget nothing ever really leaves the internet.

This man’s last wish should be honored by every person in the U.S.

1-800-Hotline Savesies. This has been a PSA brought to you by the Philly Police Department.

Catch me being excited for the Super Bowl commercials rather than the Super Bowl itself.

The brilliant and wonderful Alan Rickman has died at the age of 69.

Let’s be real: Alan Rickman is probably Metatron now.

Some fans of David Bowie reminisce about what he taught them.

ISIL claims responsibility for a terror attack in Jakarta.

Straight pride parades, brought to you by bigoted, chagrined closeted people.

The Population Institute grades States on their reproductive rights. I’m pretty happy about New Mexico, but as a nation, we can do better.

Here’s a short history of Twitter rules.

An APD officer is suing the city for not promoting him after he wrongfully shot and killed a person. Wow.

Did you know a local Burqueno teen played Leo D’s son in his newest film, The Revenant?

U.S. coalition has taken out 10 Isis leaders.

Suicide bombing in Northern Pakistan has left many injured and killed.

The world says goodbye to Motorhead frontman Lemmy Kilmister.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally victimized by Donald Trump. *Shifts eyes to Jeb Bush*

My only goal is to be as brave and badass as this local Albuquerque girl.

Dear Olive Garden, I can use $400 to buy endless amounts of alcohol for New Years Eve and probably 10 more New Years Eve parties that I’ll never remember instead of using it on one night I’ll never remember.

Sometimes the internet can be a great place. Check out this video of a Kendrick Lamar and Mario Kart mashup!

New Mexico, your Holly Holm bandwagon is showing.

Does the San Bernardino attack have legitimate ties to ISIS?

Snapchat trying to cover news via their story is like trying to make fetch happen. It’s not going to happen.

Robert Downey Jr. and I have one thing in common and it’s not being able to keep surprises a secret.

The only thing on the internet that I’m obsessed with is Anna Kendrick’s Tweets.

In case you missed it, this local guy’s Target visit has given me uncontrollable feelings that make my heart melt.

On a more emotional note, as if feelings weren’t already uncontrollable, frontman of the Stone Temple Pilots dies at 48.

Pamela Anderson takes one for the team in Playboy’s last nude edition.

Only a twitter bot can predict the future.

The suspected organizer of the terrorist attacks in Paris is reportedly killed.

A summation of anti-feminists to induce your daily rage.

Learn more about the history of lesbianism on the island of Nantucket.

Good Charlotte is back, thank Satan.

Morsels by Megan Foldenauer is deliciously lovely.

Where revenge porn and sex work intersect.

-laugh crying emoji-

Take-out flu shots delivered by Uber? Alright.

Russian flights won’t be flying into Egypt any time soon.

Technology could be getting a city of their own in Southern NM.

This Ohio teen had no idea he’s been considered missing for 13 years until he tried to apply for college. What are the odds?

One New Mexico filmmaker wants to give the public a glimpse into the lives of APD with a web series.

Adele’s management is taking all the fun out of being drunk on social medial.

It’s like the feud between Quentin Tarantino and Police is more drama than high school.

London gets way more than they bargained for during Million Mask March. Protests aren’t supposed to turn violent, right?

Techno and Feminism. What a time to be alive.

Man found doing household chores in woman’s house.

Missing cat causes taunting phone calls to owner.

The Associated Press sues FBI for fake news story.

Virginia teen faces 11 years in prison for controlling Twitter account in supports of ISIS and helps friend travel to join group.

Why pay rent when you can live in a train and travel?

50 bodies found in an abandoned truck in eastern Austria.

Driving instructor leaves 70 teenagers high and dry by taking their money and leaving them without receiving their drivers license.

Sea-level rising could be potentially disaster.

AMC puts Zombies in the sky.

California oil spills have a sticky history.

In case you haven’t heard, David Letterman has retired.

Civilians were trapped in Palmyra by Islamic State.

World leaders speak to millions on Twitter.

Albuquerque kicks off Beer Week.

Breaking News: Teenagers are idiots.

APD not really sure if red light cameras make a difference.

A crane beat three tigers in real life Kung-Fu Panda.

Delta’s new saftey video will make you want to watch for pure entertainment.