Ah, yes. The Pokémon Cookbook shows you how to make your own Pokémon-shaped dishes. I have no words.

The CIA just released the results of a secret assessment, and they're saying the hacked emails provided to WikiLeaks before the election were given to them by the Russian government for the express reason of putting Trump in the White House. (Which is interesting and says some scary things about the relationship between Trump and Russia, but doesn't really change the content of the emails. So ...)

Watch the world's largest useless machine light a Christmas tree.

The very first dinosaur tail encased in amber was discovered. Check this shit out!

John Glenn died.

The first government-approved drone delivery happened Friday. A 7-11 delivered a chicken sandwich, donuts and hot coffee by way of drone. That's one small step ...

Wikileaks has been releasing the controversial Clinton emails, and the newest batch seems to be evidence that the Democratic National Convention was already looking for ways to discredit Sanders before any votes had even come in. Democracy in action!

The only adolescent detox clinic in New Mexico is shutting down, showing once again just how little we care about the youth in this state.

My new favorite song, "Smarty Pants," by First Choice.

Apparently, cockroaches produce protein and nutrient-rich crystals to feed their young. And now we can eat it, too! Cockroach milk, here we come!

The parents of an 8-year-old who died during the Boston Marathon bombing are urging officials against the death penalty for Dzhokhar Tsarnaev.

“I Wish My Teacher Knew” draws some sad and touching responses from third graders.

Police found five adults who apparently died from a shooting at a Phoenix home after a dispute over the family business.

WikiLeaks put over 170,000 emails from Sony Pictures Entertainment on a searchable web archive.

An Ohio man who apparently trained with a terrorist group in Syria has been accused by federal prosecutors of planning an attack in the United States.

An Albuquerque Metropolitan Detention Center officer has been arrested after being accused of raping an inmate.

A Rio Rancho clinic is turning away patients who've had a cigarette less than 30 minutes before their appointment. Say what?

“Breaking Bad” star Bryan Cranston narrated a video for the series “New Mexico True Stories,” during which he reads from Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian. Yeah, you know you wanna watch it.

Lawyer Randi McGinn has been named as the special prosecutor in the murder case against APD officers Keith Sandy and Dominique Perez for the killing of James Boyd.

Don't piss off this gorilla … obviously.

North Korea can bomb Portland.

Uhps, sorry, you're pregnant.

If I ever buy a ferret in place of a dog just slap me.

John Wesley Coleman ladies and gentlemen.

No lawyers here.

Is Gawker a right wing.

An appropriate Thatcher obit.

Thatcher obits are going to keep coming, get used to it.

Nothing compares to a Caddyshack supreme court reference.

Pablo Neruda was murdered. Llamas, wolves, killing.

Somebody put together a collection of Let's Make a Deal prizes by make.

On this day in 1937 Carl Perkins was born.

Albuquerque restauranteur's decision not to pay the new minimum wage has sparked a call to boycott the business.

Some high ranking APD cops are the subjects of a new internal affairs investigation.

Competitive mass-shooting?

Documentary about the file-sharing site Pirate Bay premieres Friday.

Assange for Senator? Interesting new interview with the Wikileaks founder.

There was a diamond heist in Brussels.

There are Ganymedean slime molds all over the part of Siberia that was struck by a meteor.

Are drones armed with shotguns and grenade launchers and operated by local police departments in our terrible and absurd future?

The Chubby Checker app.

It appears the Chinese military is responsible for a great amount of cyber espionage world wide.

This record store only buys&sells copies of The White Album.

A funeral home sent a family their loved one’s brain in a bag. Court says they can’t sue.

Maximum sentence for a driver who killed a cyclist in January: 90 days in jail, $300 fine.

Syrian army agrees to a ceasefire from Friday to Monday.

Hurricane Sandy is heading our way.

WikiLeaks is releasing the U.S. policies on detaining people in camps and GitMo. The website hacked them from the DOD.

Chinese artist Ai Weiwei goes Gangnam style.

Why it’s so hard to fire a police officer.

Bullied teen throws herself in front of a train.

7-year-old girl writes an opera.

Legalizing marijuana is on the ballot in Washington, Colorado and Oregon.

Rape is rape, says the president.

Don’t worry about convicted sex offenders this Halloween. They’ve got a curfew.

Hobbit spoilers.

Last-minute DIY Halloween costumes.

Nirvana, the Broadway musical.

Call the State Police instead: Rio Arriba County Sheriff's department will no longer be open after eight pm.

A typo and confusion over the ballot process may prevent Burquenos from voting on a minimum wage hike.

Students in China's Jiangsu province say they are being forced to manufacture the iPhone 5.

R.E.M. doesn't like the "puff adder brand of reportage" at Fox News.

The mystery of the "West Seattle hum" is solved.

People are on edge about circumcision in Germany.

How many people should a woman sleep with?

Wells Fargo foreclosed on an elderly couple's home... twice.

Wells Fargo fired a man for using a fake dime at a laundromat 49 years ago.

Gah! Bed bugs in the literature section.

Julian Assange, the movie.

Larry Flynt is offering one million dollars to anyone who produces Mitt Romney's tax records.

President Obama has a sense of humor. The jury's still out on Mitt Romney.

Parts of Romney's presidential platform are a bit fuzzy.

Roodharigendag Breda.

Long Island Tornado.

Oldest Ford in existence is up for auction.

On this day in 1958, Runaway Lita Ford was born.

All of the fireworks in San Diego's big show accidentally went off at once. (This has never happened to the Big Bay Boom before.)

In the Dirt City, plenty of people flipped a sparkly middle finger to fire restrictions.

We've entered monsoon season.

Apple is working on a mini-iPad. No, dummy, not an iPhone.

Government confirms: Mermaids are not real.

Fukushima disaster was the result of collusion, says expert panel.

Did you know Hannah Montana makes a raccoon repellent?

Lifeguard in Florida fired for trying to save a drowning swimmer.

Wikileaks releases 2.5 million emails from Syria.

Physicists find key to the universe.

How to take care of your vinyl in the heat.

India's going to give its citizens free medication.

Mitt Romney may pick a woman to be his running mate.

"Like a Virgin" moves Madonna to tears during a concert.

Former Liberian president Charles Taylor was sentenced to 50 years in prison for “heinous and brutal” war crimes.

The seemingly endless GOP presidential nomination season ends with Mitt as the last one standing. He celebrates with Donald Trump.

Governor Susana Martinez is scheduled to return from California today after attending private PAC fundraisers. Susana PAC has almost a million dollars in its coffers, which the guv aims to use in key state legislative races.

With a week left to go before the primary election, experts are projecting low turnout. Get out and vote!

Rest In Peace, (country music legend) Doc Watson.

Wikileaks’ Julian Assange still has a little time left to fight Swedish extradition charges, although he lost his latest appeal.

In a split decision, the state Supreme Court upheld the Guild Cinema's conviction for violating a city ordinance prohibiting adult film screenings, which the theater argues infringed on free speech rights.

War veterans make stops in New Mexico as they bike across the country to raise awareness about many serious issues that face returning service members.

Two asteroids hurtled past Earth on Monday and Tuesday. Some scientists (and billionares) see a missed opportunity to troll for valuable minerals.

Roger Federer broke grand slam records with his most recent win at the French Open, while Novak Djokovic successfully battled into the third round.

Notorious cult leader and mass murderer Charles Manson could have ties to unsolved cases in the L.A. area.

Mark your calendars! Friday is national Donut Day.

The 17-year-old who police say is responsible for the Ohio high school shooting posted a creepy Facebook rant weeks before.

GOP hopefuls Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney are pretty much tied heading in to the Michigan primary.

Cambridge University says Stephen Hawking visited a California swingers’ sex club.

What’s the worlwide, widespread, cover-your-mouth epidemic for the new year? Bat Flu.

I can’t think of much worse things than getting dumped on by an airplane’s lavatory leak.

A small, child-size part of me died when I discovered Berenstain Bears co-creator Jan Berenstain died.

A deer in Ohio saves the day when it interferes with a man choking a woman with purse straps.

According to Julian Assange’s newest Wikileak, officials in Pakistan knew where Osama Bin Laden was.

The Leap Year, explained.

You, too, can now bid on a pair of Jeremy Lin’s old boxer briefs on eBay.

Virginia resident Hank the Cat hopes to earn your vote for the Senate in promising “milk in every bowl.”

Thanks to Emily for some of today’s links.

According to an FBI spokeswoman, 5 students were injured when a classmate opened fire at an Ohio high school.

New Mexico National Guardsman Anthony Baldonado faces murder charges after a shooting over the weekend.

Mayor Berry works on plans to revamp Route 66.

The Bracket Big Board says that despite last week's losses, the Lobos are still a huge threat in the NCAA tournament.

Japanese astronaut built tiny LEGO space station while inside of the real space station.

And the Oscars go to...

Ever wondered what's actually written inside those Oscar envelopes?

Napolese man pronounced shortest in human history.

Pediatricians now recommend HPV vaccine for pre-teen boys.

WikiLeaks has published 5 million new super-secret e-mails.

Slow-motion basset hound.

I lose stuff all the time, but I've never lost $49K worth of exotic, venomous creatures.

I mishear things all the time, but I've never mistaken “Mom on board” for “bomb on board.”

Is that a 19-inch TV in your pants, or are you just excited to see me? Minnesota man caught with stolen 19-inch TV in his pants.

Kids reenact of the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Pop culture icons.

Libya continues to celebrate liberation as Gaddafi remains unburied.

ICE agent declares "the warrant [came] out of my balls."

Presbyterian opens first full-service hospital in Rio Rancho.

Who wore it better? Lady Gaga or this lady trying to look like Judy Jetson?

WikiLeaks suspends secret-spilling to focus on making more money.

Woman arrested for stealing a bagel shop cash register that contained exactly one quarter.

6,810 bottles of wine and champagne come crashing to the floor at discount liquor store.

Diabetes is not a joke, but it does make for some amusing billboard graffiti.

Today is going to be a crappy day. Life is full of too many problems.

Get your daily puppy fix.

Freshwater monkeys!

Mmmm. Pumpkin Monkey Bread.

Some more little known facts.

Does anybody else find these real-life Disney princess pictures sort of creepy?

25 worst rapper names of all time.

Thanks to T-fame and N-C-Double-Brown for the contributing links.

Fireworks fails (video collection!)

The John Young Ranch burned last weekend. The Dixons of apple fame bought their property from Young. The orchard was saved.

Silver City's Penny Park burned, again.

Los Alamos residents may return home!

Watch NYPD Bomb Squad blow up 5000 pounds of confiscated fireworks.

Here's what the Reflecting Pool in Washington Monument looks like this Fourth of July weekend. "It's kind of gross right now."

A weirder Haunted Mansion.

Hitler is pissed about Metallica recording with Lou Reed.

Miss Honeywell. "She'd make a good personal assistant to a sales manager."

German Neo-Nazi codes.

Newlywed Duke and Duchess of Cambridge in Canada for Canada Day.

Some Quebecois aren't fond of the royals.

Yellowstone River oil spill.

Pairing wine with doughnuts, Spaghetti-O's and other crap.

Wikileaks might sue Mastercard. With Wikileaks "priceless" ad spoof.

Happy belated birthday, Lindsay Lohan.

Osama Bin Laden News Roundup:
The White House updates the narrative on how Osama Bin Laden was killed.
Federal prosecutors will seek to dismiss all charges against Bin Laden.
Bin Laden had 500 Euros sewn into his clothes for a quick escape.
Wikileaks reveals that in 2008, US troops were 1,800 yards from Bin Laden, training Pakistanis how to catch him.
Steven Colbert tracks the politicization of Bin Laden's death.
It's been 3 days since Bin Laden was killed, time for some conspiracy theories and memes.

A state health department administrator has been arrested for driving drunk in a government vehicle.

People are complaining about the low graduation rate among Lottery scholarship recipients.

How Donald Trump lost the stutterers' vote.

John Ashcroft is Blackwater's new ethics chief. What's another word for irony?

Giant ant fossil discovered in Wyoming.

The top 10 Chinese tech moguls you need to know.

Don't get fooled by this Apple malware.

Ethically dubious ways to getting the perfect seat on your next flight.

How bacon can turn a vegetarian.

Watch the Insane Clown Posse review Water For Elephants.

Judge rules IP addresses aren't people, blocking subpoenas.

The unknown mysteries of the Mysteries of the Unknown commercial.

Rick Springfield arrested on DUI suspicion.

Top 10 evil lairs.

Today is Star Wars Day: May the 4th be with you! GET IT?????

Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo, you'll need limes.

South Korean man found dead on a crucifix.

Delivery man shames bad tippers on his blog.

This exists: The internet's most comprehensive examination of the watches worn by Fox Mulder on TV's The X-Files.

Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos and eight other celebrity-based cartoons from the 80s and 90s.

Soon, almost every Marvel cartoon show will be available to watch instantly on Netflix.

Happy Birthday Mr. Fuji!!!

The White House plans to release at least one Osama bin Laden death photo.

Bin Laden’s kind of like that Saw killer; one more video made shortly before his death is expected to surface.

WikiLeaks reveals a rumor in which Al Qaeda has hidden a nuclear bomb in Europe to detonate in the event of bin Laden’s capture.

Scott Pelley takes Katie Couric’s old seat as the anchor of “CBS Evening News.”

The hackers of Sony’s PlayStation Network have hit a second online service, exposing 25 million more accounts.

This pissed off customer gets even with Sears by attacking police with a weed whacker.

An airplane passenger is arrested after placing his hand up a flight attendant’s skirt.

Paris Hilton’s Hollywood Hills home is available to rent for a cool $20,000 a month.

Two dogs survive a 175-foot slide off of a cliff.

This middle school teacher shaves for the first time since 9/11, vowing to grow a beard until bin Laden was caught.

The Post Office’s Statue of Libery stamp turns out to be a picture of the fake Las Vegas one at New York-New York Hotel and Casino.