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V.25 No.45 | 11/10/2016

The Daily Word in Small-Time Physics, Salt and Laser vs. Anti-Laser

The Daily Word

Okay. So ... I don't really know how to explain the whole "laser versus anti-laser" experiment that Lawrence Berkley Lab just did. Just ... read this article. "First there is a laser. Then there is no laser. Then there is".

A "mysterious metal object" (read: part of a Chinese rocket)dropped on a mining operation in Myanmar. Someone obviously doubted the miners' commitment to Sparkle Motion.

In case you were wondering: Yes. Facebook does manipulate the "trending news." Just ask these whistleblowers.

Take a look at Scientific American's history of salt image archive. It makes popcorn good.

It's the end of the world! They're going to kill us all! (I just read about this robot who solved a Rubik's cube in less than a second.) Run to Canada!

Holy shit! Some lunatic physicists have measured changes in an atom happening in "zeptoseconds," the newest, smallest measurement of time (which is 10 to the negative 21st power of a second). Goodnight, everybody!

V.25 No.39 | 09/29/2016

The Daily Word in Demons, Murder and Temple Toilets

The Daily Word

A massive meteor smashed into Australia, and it was caught on video!

So, Disney lied (surprise). Meerkats are not sweet and cute. They are the mammal most likely to be killed by their own kind.

A 200-year-old pub was unearthed beneath Manchester, England. No one knew it was there.

Holy shit. So an ancient Judean king installed a stone toilet in one of his competitor's temple's. Classy.

Breathe easy, y'all. Researchers with IBM, Facebook, Amazon, Microsoft and Alphabet have teamed up and finally made an AI ethics board.

Here we go: The Catholic Church needs more exorcists, due to a reported rise in demon possessions. Obviously, we need a university-level exorcist training school. (That's not a cheap joke by me. They actually said that!)

V.25 No.27 | 07/07/2016

The Daily Word in Punching Therapy, Weed Workouts and Robot Hunters

The Daily Word

Twins are weird. These two sisters (who were born 11 minutes apart) gave birth at the exact same date and time (in their respective time zones).

Some scientists from the University of Zurich in Switzerland are developing AI that can track a target in real time, which according to them will help create a generation of automatons that will be able to round up shopping carts at grocery stores, or bring your luggage to you at the airport, or make self-driving cars work better ... or allow autonomous machines to track and destroy prey easily. Hiyo!

"Punching therapy" is not only a real thing, it's also exactly what it sounds like. And a woman in China has gone nearly blind after two years of weekly (and sometimes more) therapeutic beatings about the face. When her eyesight began to get fuzzy, her therapist allegedly suggested more punches. A real doctor told her she was developing cataracts. Go figure.

The first reports of a developing pandemic have arrived. Out-of-breath nerds with sore legs abound after the initial onslaught of Pokémon Go the first large-scale, mainstream augmented reality game. The epidemic will be known as "PokéFever." Prices for Ben Gay, crutches and wheelchairs will undoubtedly skyrocket before next weekend.

In case you didn't know: Smoking pot makes exercising awesome. And a couple of folks in CA plan to open a gym where you can smoke weed while you work out. Meanwhile, a spokesperson for Citizens Against Legalizing Marijuana said, "there’s zero evidence that marijuana helps you focus. There is evidence that it makes you dopey," meaning she's obviously never tried it.

V.25 No.19 | 05/12/2016

The Daily Word in Psi-Q, Swarm AI and Real-Life Frankenstein

The Daily Word

Some crafty blogger has taken an ancient (1983) computer code from a book called Test Your Psi-Q and converted it to javascript. Now you can test your own Psi-Q (or not, since the post also explains why this method doesn't actually work).

Eat your heart out, George Jetson. Elon Musk's "Hyperloop" had its first propulsion system test last week. The goal of a 700 mile-per-hour transportation system is closer than ever.

Get your pitchforks and torches ready. The first (living) human head transplant is slated to go down next year in China.

For the first time in two decades, Sandia Labs' managing contract is up for bid. Maybe the new boss can do something about that toxic soup they still have brewing.

There are only three northern white rhinos left in the entire world, but scientists are going to use stem cell technology and surrogate parenting to try and save them from the brink of extinction. The only problem: activists say it doesn't fix the issue that endangered them in the first place, and it might encourage laziness in the conservation efforts of the future. I'll give you two guesses as to which side the northern white rhino is taking.

A tech company has developed an AI that correctly predicted the winner of the Kentucky Derby by using "swarm AI."

V.25 No.17 | 04/28/2016

The Daily Word in Pokejets, Jellyfish and Robot Eyeballs

The Daily Word

Researchers working near the Mariana Trench have captured video of a rare hydromadusa

Surprise, surprise. America's most highly educated people are mostly liberal. I'm sure this partisan gap has nothing to do with an imbalance in ideological representation amongst educators, or anything.

The last of All Nippon Airways' "Pokémon jets" has been decommissioned. But don't worry, Pokéfans! Plans for brand new Pokéjets are already in the making.

Sweet Jimminy Cricket. It's snowing in New Mexico? I'm done, dammit!

OMG. What if the AI computer in Spike Jonez's Her featured the voice Dr. Steve Brule instead of Scarlett Johansson? This.

The new eSight, a hands-free headset that uses a high-speed camera to enhance vision, has allowed a 5th grader to see his mom for the first time.

...And then Google dropped a patent on an injectable computer that will go inside the eye to correct vision with focused light. Oh. And you will be constantly connected to the internet. Great googly moogly!

V.23 No.48 |

News

The Daily Word in Charles Manson does not have a gift registry -or does he?

The Daily Word

It's true. The Pit is now deliciously called the WisePies Arena.

APD fired the officer that shot Mary Hawkes sans lapel camera footage.

The unidentified, phantom shooter in ABQ's SE Heights yesterday has caused an elementary school to be staffed by "extra security."

Today a fairly eloquent, top-hatted man came into the alibi offices and made his stance known vis a vis Albuquerque's ordinance against feeding pigeons. How do alibi readers feel? How do you guess the top-hatted man feels?

Charles Manson is engaged. Charles Manson does not have a wedding registry.

UK porn production will be stifled by this recent outlawing of acts.

Maurice Sendak's estate is in the hands of a former caretaker who either has his best interests in mind or is limiting accessibility to his effects and art collection.

Stephen Hawking has some holiday cheer.

Burt Reynolds is selling some stuff.

The Reagan-era ban on homosexual men donating blood may soon be over.

Here is a six hour long video of The Count reciting pi to 10,000.

Turns out, Mingus couldn't work without the cat shit.

V.19 No.12 |

Poetry

Ai, Poet Extraordinaire, Dies

The poet Ai, whose work was astoundingly varied and consistently forceful, passed away last week from pneumonia. She was 62.

Ai was born Florence Johnson but changed her name to the Japanese word for love. She was half-Japanese and raised by her mother, who was black, Choctaw and Irish. Ai's poems, in turn, are voiced by a range of speakers and reflect a host of human experience (from bored wives to coma patients to Trotsky).

Read her New York Times obit here.

Here's a short poem I like. Check out the one about Trotsky, called "Killing Floor" here.

Conversation

for Robert Lowell

We smile at each other
and I lean back against the wicker couch.
How does it feel to be dead? I say.
You touch my knees with your blue fingers.
And when you open your mouth,
a ball of yellow light falls to the floor
and burns a hole through it.
Don’t tell me, I say. I don't want to hear.
Did you ever, you start,
wear a certain kind of silk dress
and just by accident,
so inconsequential you barely notice it,
your fingers graze that dress
and you hear the sound of a knife cutting paper,
you see it too
and you realize how that image
is simply the extension of another image,
that your own life
is a chain of words
that one day will snap.
Words, you say, young girls in a circle, holding hands,
and beginning to rise heavenward
in their confirmation dresses,
like white helium balloons,
the wreaths of flowers on their heads spinning,
and above all that,
that’s where I’m floating,
and that’s what it’s like
only ten times clearer,
ten times more horrible.
Could anyone alive survive it?