V.18 No.31 | 7/30/2009


Average Dude

An experiment in mediocrity

I feel so average.

It’s hard to feel average in a country where no one feels average. Everyone’s a unique snowflake, a maverick, one of a kind. 

I am no exception. I feel exceptionally exceptional most days. 

But in reality I’m not special.

I’m a pretty average American. I’m overweight. I have high cholesterol and high blood pressure. On the other hand, I don’t have diabetes.

When I’m employed I work about 40 hours a week. I eat fatty foods and don’t exercise. At six foot three inches, I’m taller than the average American, who is between five and six feet, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

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