So ... why are we scared of clowns?

Did Microsoft's Japanese chatbot, Rinna, really become suicidal this week?

A couple of billionaires are funding our escape from what they believe is our simulated reality. You know, when I espouse nutty ideas like simulation theory or a holographic universe, it's okay, because the rest of the world tells me I'm crazy. I don't know if I'm comfortable with them agreeing.

Let's turn the creep factor up some. Astronomers have discovered a wandering black hole creeping around another galaxy.

2015 was the second hottest year in American history. I blame Al Gore.

For the first time ever, visible light was detected in a black hole, and even amateur-level telescopes can see it.

6-month manhunt for drug lord "El Chapo" ends in capture. Whereabouts of the sweet ride he escaped on go unreported.

Rio Rancho High School parents are concerned about the firing of a substitute teacher after an investigation into what Rio Rancho police are calling "improper actions" with a student.

Former Albuquerque Records Clerk claims he was instructed by APD to actively impede records requests.

New Mexico's snowpack smashes 30-year average. Groundhog: "Here we go, again."

Mexico's "Grand Warlock" predicts failure in Trump's future. Trump's frown deepens.

In 1999, the best place to learn science was Brittney Spears' Guide to Semiconductor Physics.

500-year-old skeleton of an executed pirate discovered under a school playground in Edinburgh, UK. And you thought an hour in detention sucked.

Germany has walls that will make you think twice about urinating on them.

This local diner is going to give you all the feels and remember what holidays are actually about.

Are you a health freak? Well there’s a new type of tattoo just for you.

Incase you missed it, this guy had a lot of balls on Thankgiving.

Black Friday gets wild.

Do you ever just wonder how science is even real? Same.

It's Thursday! Not exactly as good as Friday, but still pretty damn good.

The Internet may not be owned by a few corporations soon because Washington seems to be pretty down with net neutrality!

There is a black hole that is 12 billion times larger than the sun and is 900 million years old.

Zendaya Coleman elegantly explained why assuming dreadlocks smell like “patchouli oil” or “weed” is racist and weird. Giuliana Rancic apologizes. The internet gives Coleman a giant high five.

A new proposal would require Lyft and Uber drivers to provide insurance and undergo extensive background checks.

Surveys conclude that over half of all farm workers in America lack “legitimate documents” and therefore have no legal rights or protection.

Consumers of my dancing-about-architecture reportage are probably aware of my frequent use of the adjectival "blackety-black." It's really just an overly precious synonym for: atramentous, ebony, jet, obsidian, onyx, pitch, slate, sloe and the like. But thanks to British scientists at Surrey NanoSystems, there's now an honest-to-goodness blackety-black. It's called Vantablack (or super black), and it's record-breaking darkness absorbs all but .035 percent of light. It's so damn black that the human eye has difficulty discerning its dimensions. Like a freaking black hole. Its primary intended applications are terrestrial, space and air-borne optical instrumentation. But now hear this: The Little Black Dress will never be the same.

The Daily Mail reports that it's created using carbon nanotubes—"which are 10,000 thinner than human hair and so miniscule that light cannot get in but can pass into the gaps in between"—and if that isn't enough, it's 10 times stronger than steel and conducts heat seven-and-a-half times more effectively than copper. Yeah. Owing to my obsessive-compulsive nature, themes prove irresistably attractive, so here are my favorite songs that pay tribute to blackety-black, er, Vantablack. Share your favorite black-centric tracks in the comments, fellow darklings.

New woman stepping forward in sex charges against Herman Cain will speak at news conference this afternoon.

Penn State officials step down in wake of sex scandal cover-up for ex-football coach.

Council voting today on red light cameras.

Six men locked away in steel tubes for a year-and-a-half in simulated Mars500 Project have emerged from isolation.

Guitarist for the satirical heavy metal band GWAR found dead.

The joys of daytime talk shows.

Masked bandits steal 6,000 copies of Modern Warfare 3 in France over the weekend.

Did you remember, remember the fifth of November?

Stores opening earlier than ever before this Black Friday.

Community College instructor falls to his death in front of a group of students.

Hubble makes first ever direct observation of a disc around a black hole.

Jimmy Kimmel vs. Ellen Degeneres nice-off.

Do you park like an idiot?

WE WANT BEER: anti-prohibition signage.

New Jersey's dancing shoplifter gets nabbed after his moves get caught on security camera.

Facebook unfriending is alleged motive in arson case.

Do you have a doggelganger?

Thanks to Uncle Tom and Uncle Carl for the helpful links.