burger talk

V.19 No.35 | 9/2/2010
My Lumpy—a Wimpy—with Chunky fries.


Burger Talk

Smooth burgers be damned

I don’t like big, thick, ground beef patties. Besides being fattening (though— when it comes down to burger-eatin’— do I care?), when undercooked they can poison you. Since turning my back on vegetarianism in 2008, I’ve been in search of a waif-like hamburger patty, cooked through and through, encased with garnishes of garden salad proportions and housed in high class buns. I’m happy to report that Lumpy’s Burgers’ (5420 Central SW at Old Coors) 1/4 Wimpy fits the bill.

Lumpy eaters attain food by filling out orders on paper bags, picking sauces, vegetables, pickles, peppers, burger type and fry type. They then choose a potato—sweet or Idaho—that will be turned into fries. After paying and waiting in the restaurant’s low key parking lot eating area, your order is returned in the bag. Upon opening the burger a divine light shines all around the sandwich. That’s just aluminum foil.

V.19 No.34 | 8/26/2010
Vintage Lotaburger

Blake’s Lotaburger vs. Five Guys—Gustavo Arellano on green chile and regional chains

Nothing in this whole wide world compares to the ambrosial sensation of chowing down on foodstuffs covered with roasted New Mexico chile. Smitten with our state’s almighty green chile burgers, Gustavo Arellano—of the OC Weekly and ¡Ask a Mexican! fame—wrote a love letter to Blake’s Lotaburger. In the blog, he praised the fact that the 76 Lotaburger locations are all within the borders of New Mexico. Meanwhile he lamented the outbreak of Five Guys fever (I guess Southern California is experiencing it too), a once D.C.-specific burger joint that now has 625 locations in the U.S. and Canada. It seems that Arellano and I have similar feelings about Five Guys. The burgers are good, but is all of the brouhaha deserved? Wait, what’s that? I can’t hear you over this blaring Doobie Brothers song!

Albuquerqueans can find out what all the fuss is about at 6650 Holly NE (waaaaay up there in that mess of chain stores and subdivisions on Paseo between San Pedro and Louisiana).

V.19 No.28 | 7/15/2010
Stepping into the Dog House is like traveling back to the early ‘80s.


Burger Talk

In the Dog House

It stands to reason that most people go to the Dog House Drive In for hot dogs, so maybe that’s why the hamburgers are nothing to “bark” at. (Get it? Dog? Bark? Ah-ha-ha-ha!) The thin hamburger patty’s circumference is a fraction of that of the bun, and from the looks of it, if there were any flavor in that floppy brown disc I’m not sure I’d want to experience it. Next time I’ll know not to waste my hamburger allowance here. Go for the hot dog-eating neon dachshund, and stay for the cheesy tots they’ll deliver right to your car.