I don’t like big, thick, ground beef patties. Besides being fattening (though— when it comes down to burger-eatin’— do I care?), when undercooked they can poison you. Since turning my back on vegetarianism in 2008, I’ve been in search of a waif-like hamburger patty, cooked through and through, encased with garnishes of garden salad proportions and housed in high class buns. I’m happy to report that Lumpy’s Burgers’ (5420 Central SW at Old Coors) 1/4 Wimpy fits the bill.
Lumpy eaters attain food by filling out orders on paper bags, picking sauces, vegetables, pickles, peppers, burger type and fry type. They then choose a potato—sweet or Idaho—that will be turned into fries. After paying and waiting in the restaurant’s low key parking lot eating area, your order is returned in the bag. Upon opening the burger a divine light shines all around the sandwich. That’s just aluminum foil.