President Obama releases his long form birth certificate, but haters got to hate.

Apple to update iPhones and iPads to fix location tracking.

Dude, it's cold out today.

General Petraeus will be nominated to be the new director of the CIA.

San Francisco may ban circumcisions.

Homeless woman is facing 20 years in prison for sending her child to the wrong school.

Coming soon: Rainbow poo.

Santa Fe deputy caught on camera shoplifting.

Hitler ordered the creation of Nazi UFOs to destroy London and New York.

Entire new order of insects discovered at South African truck stop.

Anti-gay hate crime leads to eight horses killed in a barn fire.

William S. Burroughs (who died in 1997) is on trial for corrupting Turkish morals.

The Sony Playstation Network outage looks much worse than originally thought.

Sweet Chernobyl graffiti.

Budget cuts force SETI to shut down its telescope facility.

A guide to making people feel old.

Will women's clothing ever be standardized?

You can listen to the Beastie Boys new album here.

You have a month to rescue your photos from Friendster.

Unstoppable raft of fire ants is waiting for you.

Things that are overexposed.

The world's most powerful laser is being built in Eastern Europe.

Jon Bon Jovi is opening a pay what you can restaurant in New Jersey.

Marshfield, Massachusetts: the town that banned Pac Man.

Cupcake flavored vodka.

Pittsburgh has a ninja problem.

Be your own souvenir.

This incredibly safe lame chemistry set comes with no chemicals.

14 serial killers who were never captured.

Six of the rarest of rare-earth minerals.

Happy birthday Walter Lantz!!!

Japan’s post-earthquake nuclear disaster is now as bad as Chernobyl.

The Chevy Cruze is recalled after a steering wheel falls off.

Gas is expected to reach nearly $5 a gallon by Memorial Day. Ugh.

Two people steal $130 from a 13-year-old’s lemonade stand.

This Indonesian clinic claims that smoking can actually cure cancer.

Iceland’s Phallogical Museum (yep, that’s penis) gets its very first human specimen from a 95-year-old.

Jack the Ripper v2.0? A ninth human skull has been found in Long Island, being linked to a serial killer with a penchant for prostitutes.

Make yourself sick and take a look at this list of the 20 highest-paid CEOs.

Take some classes on how to grow pot at Marijuana State University.

Steve Carell’s final episode in “The Office” is increased to 50 minutes.

Virgin Galactic is hiring astronauts for its commercial spaceflights out of Spaceport America.

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange is granted bail by the UK court.

A burglar steals a family’s Christmas gifts, dog.

... While these robbers tie up a 12-year-old boy and take his video games.

A bus driver resigns after a YouTube clip shows him running over an innocent snowman.

Sal Alosi, the New York Jets’ strength and conditioning coach, is suspended without pay for the remainder of the season after the tripping incident.

This guy threw a dead squirrel through a Hardee’s drive-thru window.

“Jeopardy!” will pit some of its best contestants against an IBM machine.

Let’s all take a vacation to see the Chernobyl nuclear power plant tour!

A California inmate is granted kosher meals after citing his strong Festivus beliefs.

There was a fatal head-on crash this morning on I-25 near Santa Fe.

They like him over there; Gov. Bill Richardson leaves this afternoon for a private visit with North Korean officials.

1478 – The Pazzi attack Lorenzo de' Medici and kill his brother Giuliano during High Mass at the Duomo. Giuliano was stabbed 19 times by a gang that included a priest, in front of 10,000 peeps. That is a lot of church folk. The plot failed and the conspirators were hunted down and killed. Jacopo de' Pazzi was tossed from a window, dragged naked through the street and thrown into a river. Salviati was hung on the walls of the Palazzo della Signoria, for all to see.

1900 – Charles Richter, American geophysicist, and scale creator, is born.

1937 –The Bombing of Guernica by the Nazi Luftwaffe. The Basque region opposed General Francisco Franco's Nationalist forces in the Spanish Civil War, but Guernica itself was a small rural city of only 5,000 inhabitants that had not directly engaged in the fight. With Franco's approval, the German’s began their attack at 4:30 p.m., the busiest hour of the market day in Guernica. For hours, the German planes poured down a continuous rain of bombs and gunfire on the town and surrounding countryside. One-third of Guernica's inhabitants were killed or wounded, and fires engulfed the city. Guernica had served as the testing ground for a new Nazi military tactic - blanket-bombing a civilian population to demoralize the enemy, it would come in handy later. Guernica would later became a symbol of fascist brutality.

1946 – Jim White, discoverer of Carlsbad Caverns dies. An inscription reading "J White 1898" was discovered deep within Carlsbad Caverns in the 1980s.

1970 – Gypsy Rose Lee, American burlesque entertainer and playwright, teases her way into heaven.

1986 - The worst nuclear accident to date occurs at the Chernobyl nuclear plant near Kiev in Ukraine. At 1:23 a.m., reactor 4 explodes. Dispersing large amounts of radioactive particulate and gaseous debris. A total of three explosions eventually blew the 1,000-ton steel top right off of the reactor. Flames shot into the air for two days, as the entire reactor began to melt down. Radioactive particles were carried by wind across international borders.

Only after dangerously high levels of radiation set off alarms at the Forsmark Nuclear Power Plant in Sweden did the Soviet Union admit that an accident had occurred, but authorities attempted to conceal the scale of the disaster. The evacuation of Pripyat, 36 hours after the initial explosions, was silently completed before the disaster became known outside the Soviet Union.

The full toll from this disaster will probably never be known. Experts believe that thousands of people died and as many as 70,000 suffered severe poisoning. The 18-mile radius around Chernobyl was home to almost 150,000 people who had to be permanently relocated, and is considered unlivable. Some say 150 years, I say never.

1989 – Lucille Ball, American actress and comedian passes.