chris johnson


V.21 No.49 | 12/6/2012

news

The Daily Word in the Octomom, earthquakes and Marley’s Mellow Mood.

The Daily Word

Iran captured an American drone, it claims.

An earthquake rocked Anchorage.

News Corp. is shutting down its iPad newspaper, The Daily.

Shakira’s ex-boyfriend is suing her for $100 million.

A magician’s hair caught on fire.

Asperger’s disorder is no longer a psychiatric diagnosis.

Unborn babies battle in the womb.

The Czechs indicted Lamb of God’s singer on manslaughter charges.

There will be no apocalypse, Russians claim.

Spiders are getting bigger.

Cats eat pizza.

Animals yawn.

Denver’s UFOs might just be bugs.

James Bond is everywhere.

Celebrity tattoo artist Kat Von D has a stalker.

Marley’s Mellow Mood made kids sick.

Octomom's porn video was nominated for four AVN awards.

A Deming deputy shot himself.

Somebody was watching porn in a former cop’s house.

Look for stolen cars at the Motel 6 on Alameda.

Happy birthday Fred Armisen.

Thanks to Chris Johnson, Constance Moss and Susan Petersen for the link help.

V.21 No.40 | 10/4/2012

news

The Daily Word in Furbies, UFOs and Sting.

The Daily Word

Hogs ate a man.

Obama has 99 problems.

Internet addiction is a mental illness.

Hong Kong ferries collide.

Let’s watch some Target training videos.

Joss Whedon is making a S.H.I.E.L.D. TV show.

Loitering teens can wreck your business.

Here are GPS coordinates to a bigfoot place.

Ben Radford gives us a history of religious hoaxes.

Human Furbies.

UFOs are real.

Sexy celebrity photoshop guys.

Tinfoil hats amplify mind control rays.

Councilor Michael Cook says balloons need more places to land.

Burglary is on the rise in Rio Rancho.

Tucanos got in trouble for where they put their signs.

Happy birthday Sting. And Chris Johnson.

Thanks to Nayder and Maliskas for the assists.

V.21 No.38 | 9/20/2012
Lauri Sagle is an instructor of English at the University of Hawai’i and the recipient of the Chancellor’s Award for Teaching Excellence. She is a core contributor to the English department and an integral member of the women’s studies department. She left the Alibi on December 28, 1994.http://www.hawaii.edu/about/awards/hilo.php?award=sagle

Flashback

One of the Alibi’s earliest editors remembers the olden days.

The early days of The Alibi, then known as NuCity (before a Chicago publication with a phonetically identical name threatened to rip out all of our editorial teeth), were the types of days that every flash-of-genius writer chortles over when he's being interviewed by Oprah about his sizzling debut novel, or every tech guru recalls as she laughingly characterizes her time spent paying her dues before the Big Brilliant Idea that Changed Technology ForEver. They were days of subsisting on Fred's bagels (since we mostly got paid in "bagel bucks" instead of cash); working (sometimes even crashing) in a hot office box with Department of Health condemnable carpet; and simply assuming, with the nearly impervious certainty of youth, that everything would get better, and that we'd have fun in the meantime.

But since I was a bit older (a UNM grad student) than the whippersnappers (freshly minted University of Wisconsin alumni who'd graduated at age 14 after starting the now-famous Onion and who then bounded over to Albuquerque to launch NuCity), maybe my perviousness was perviouser because a couple of symbolic events shook my sense of admittedly weak professionalism.

One came in the form of the "serious" debut of our politics issue. We'd worked hard on the format and content: local pols running for office had been profiled; corresponding election season events had been catalogued; illustrations had been applied to cleverly embellish the stories. I, as the Managing Editor/Editor, along with our Copy Editor at the time, had the last look through before giving the final approval. Perfect! So proud! So political! So grown up! Too bad about the blaring, mega-point headline that spelled the word "candidate" wrong, as we saw the next day before the issue inexorably hit the stands–a classic minor-major detail. The other folks at the paper who were psychologically healthier than I was just laughed it off, smoked a cigarette, and began laying out the next issue.

The second event actually came before the first one chronologically, but it had bigger ramifications at the time. We were applying for membership in AAN, the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies, and a group of us (Chris Johnson, Dan Scott, Landry? Dabney? O'Leary? Jonesy? Petersen?) had flown over to California with our precious offering–an issue that featured a solid, well-researched story by the inimitable Tim McGivern, illustrated by the swashbuckling Jason Waskey. We actually had to appear before a panel of AAN judges in an American Idol meets the North Korean Ministry of People's Security moment. And we were eviscerated. Bomblets like "juvenile" and "unprofessional" and "unworthy" were tossed about casually by people who were supposed to be cool! They had the word "alternative" in their dang title! Where was the encouragement, the pub invitation, the tender promise of mentorship? AAN was important since, through membership, we could use their big stories in our paper and they could pick up and circulate ours as well. It was the only time, to date, that a professional setback made me cry. One journalist in the judging group did attempt to defend us and spoke to us afterward as well. He was the lone African American on the panel and commended the diversity of our coverage. Chris and Dan lobbed a few choice expletives, laughed, said we'd be fine, and smoked some cigarettes.

They were right. We eventually did make it into AAN, now operating under the expanded 21st identity of Association of Alternative Newsmedia. "Canidates," both in title and in practice, are long forgotten. (Although we did once have an interesting conversation with at-the-time New Mexico Governor Gary Johnson, which presaged his perpetual libertarian presence on the national ticket ... but that's another story.) So while most of us, past and present, may not be Oprah dazzlers or tech zillionistas, we probably have better carpet now, and the Alibi still laughs, spits out an expletive here and there, maybe smokes a cigarette when the spouse isn't looking, and publishes onward.

V.19 No.7 | 2/18/2010

Delicious and Easy Teriyaki Chicken Recipe

This recipe for teriyaki chicken is a free adaptation of Chris Johnson’s barbecue chicken recipe, and similar to Burl Lugo’s spicy chicken.

1) At about 7:00 p.m., put a large chicken thigh in the little crockpot you bought from Walgreen’s for $9.99.

2) Add a little teriyaki sauce. You don’t need much; you only need about as much as you’d put on the chicken thigh if you were going to eat it right then.

3) Cook it on low all night while you’re “sleeping.” In the morning, stir it up with a fork and you have delicious shredded teriyaki chicken meat, suitable for eating on crackers or right out of the bowl. It’s a great way to say “fuck off” to the world. Did I just say that? I thought I was only thinking it.