Your fingerprints can reveal recent cocaine use.

Johnny Depp’s dogs were kicked out of Australia.

Enrollment in NM colleges has plummeted.

Another tragedy took place in Waco, Texas. This time, it involved two rival biker gangs.

Two extreme athletes died during a flying stunt.

A Filipino serial killer-nurse was convicted of murdering two and poisoning 20 in a hospital in Manchester, England.

Watch this Starbucks barista flip out.

Do you do this when you're home alone?

This girl performed an Adele song with her father, James Hetfield of Metallica.

On the 5th anniversary of his death, Ronnie James Dio was honored this weekend with a celebration by the rock music community.

Texas health officials have ordered that anyone who visited the room of the first Ebola patient in a Dallas hospital pretty much quarantine themselves for 21 days.

Vice President Joe Biden's son was discharged from the Navy Reserves for dipping into some nose candy.

President Obama is set to appoint Ron Klain as his “Ebola czar.”

Denver police warn parents of trick-or-treaters that some candy might not be what it seems … aka it's got weed in it.

MMA fighter Jonathan Koppenhaver (aka War Machine) attempted suicide in prison. He's currently being held for the savage beating and kidnapping of ex-girlfriend Christy Mack.

A shooting took place in Downtown Albuquerque, near Third and Silver, that left one person dead.

Guess those lapel cameras are good for something. APD police officer Jared Frazier's cam caught a woman trying to falsely accuse him of sexual assault after arresting her for a DWI.

It's not exactly BUSTED, but KOAT's got you covered if you wanna see photos of New Mexicans who've recently been arrested.

APS pays $175,000 to a middle school principal, settling a lawsuit over claims of retaliation by former superintendent Winston Brooks.

A giant butt-plug (oops, I mean tree) in Paris has French folks in a tizzy.

People weigh in on Gov. Chris Christie's apology concerning his team's “callous” and “stupid” behavior.

HBO's "Girls" gets renewed for a fourth season. Has the third even premiered yet?

After a chemical spill contaminated the water supply, nearly 200,000 people in West Virginia were left without H2O.

A major drop in added jobs for December flusters economists.

Someone's been leaving dead chickens at a North Valley cemetery.

It seems that panhandling has become a profession for a couple (and their kids) in Modesto, Calif.

Some students in Gallup found a way to cheat the system.

A woman surrendered her dog (that tested positive for cocaine and marijuana), but now she wants her canine friend back.

Coors Banquet beer puts out an 18-wheeler engulfed in flames.

Let's hear it for storm ponds!

More people in Albuquerque walk to work than ride the bus to work!?

Moody's downgraded Santa Fe's bond rating.

This cell phone video of Toronto police shooting/tasing/kicking a young man last Saturday morning is disturbing.

An oil company is causing a huge leaky mess in Alberta.

Are you on board with the Zimmerman Rescue Truthers?

Big ass KFC bucket appears in yard.

Big huge electromagnet travels from New York to Illinois.

Monstrously large mushroom found in China.

These cop selfies are funny, but Internet K-Hole (NSFW) is funnier .

Londoners get stuck in things.

A woman was arrested in connection to the Washington D.C. monument paint-splatterings.

Absolutely no question: this FIDLAR video is Not Safe For Work and has nothing to do with J.J. Cale who died last Friday.

World leaders meet in Tunisia in an effort to stop violence in Syria.

Body found this morning by Central and 114th. Then, police say, a car crashed into the crime scene.

Couple who’d already had a child die from cocaine arrested with 6 grams at a Sonic. Two of their children were in the car and the lady was pregant.

Police say man pepper sprayed while trying to rob motel customers at gunpoint. He dropped the gun and ran, then was pepper sprayed again when he returned and offered to buy the gun for $40.

Multiple deaths in Afghani riots sparked by burning of Korans at U.S. militray base.

Security guard takes stranger’s car to assail robber. Car was totaled and now the 80-year-old stranger has about $6,000 in payments.

$2 million in gold doubloons returned to Spain from a ship that was sunk by British forces in 1804.

British teacher tries to teach students a lesson by pretending to kidnap school janitor at gunpoint and flee in a getaway vehicle.

I doubt this vanity plate gets you pulled over much.

The old robbing a store at finger-point fails again.

Man walks into Denny’s and cooks himself a cheeseburger while pretending to be manager.

Man gets Holyfielded during argument at a Quality Inn.

Someone failed in their attempt to steal a MAC-10 pistol from Valley Pawn.

Headline: Man Eats Cocaine From Brother's Butt, Dies.

Is Ron Paul a conspiracy-mongering paranoid nutcase?

What people wanted for Christmas in 1975.

Guns for Christmas ads.

Biblical visions were "only" lucid dreams?

These two guys exchanged the same Christmas card for sixty years. Neither of them ever read it.

Hold on to your hats, it's The Queen's Christmas Message 2011.

Santa had a collision with an F-104 fighter jet last night.

On this day in 1924 Rod Serling was born.

Some people say Jesus was also born on this day in the year zed.

Police are cracking down on Occupiers in Oakland, Atlanta and here in Albuquerque.

Obama and Leno play softball on the Tonight Show.

Members of the Delta Sigma Theta sorority are on alert after four members are sexually assaulted.

Happy Diwali!!!

It's almost never a good idea to have sex on a public bus.

The last B53 nuclear bomb has been dismantled.

Vitamins are worthless.

87-year-old man busted with 104 bricks of cocaine.

Group calls for Pat Buchanan to be fired from MSNBC after he appears on a pro-White talk show.

Giant Lego man washes up on Florida beach.

I like asparagus, but I'd eat more if it was spray-painted gold.

Why is Beavis and Butthead back?

The 18th century Copiale Cipher has been cracked.

Disney won't let Johnny Depp talk to ABC stations about his upcoming film The Rum Diary.

Stephen King's Dark Tower series is coming to HBO.

Creepy old audio recordings here.

Andy Rooney hospitalized.

Burger King knows better than to offer this All-You-Can-Eat Whopper deal in America.

The 10 best episodes of the 1967 Spider-Man cartoon.

Parks & Rec + Breaking Bad = Parks & Meth

Happy Birthday Pat Sajak!!!

Earthquake rattles the East Coast, Californians think it's hilarious.

Missing Santa Fe boy found safe, after his father kills himself.

Water waste violations are up.

Walmart is dying, so is Groupon.

Son of Sam killer David Berkowitz won't seek parole.

Hurricane Irene is threatening much of the East Coast.

Hot Sauce Mom convicted of child abuse.

Have you tried the new flesh-eating cocaine?

Facebook adds new privacy settings.

Marines in Afghanistan ordered not to fart audibly.

Goofing around on the internet at work can make you more productive.

A UFO interrupts a British newscast.

Summer's worst new burger names.

How to ween yourself off caffeine.

NBC is developing a drama set in 1980s professional wrestling.

Meet the world's first camcorder pirates.

What are the implications of a six-sided earth?

Netflix acquires 1,200 hours of Telemundo programming.

This is why you should avoid buying cheap wine.

Check out this $1.7 million steampunk apartment.

Happy Birthday Vince McMahon!!!

Awkward Family Photos celebrate Easter.

A coke plane crashed into Lake Heron.

Secret Guantanamo files reveal many prisoners have been held captive for years with little evidence.

Why is KOAT doing these mugshots?

Lots of ABQ kids skipped school on Good Friday.

Science tries to understand meditation by scanning the brains of Tibetan Buddhist monks.

People in the Middle East are angry that the U.S. response to violence against peaceful protesters varies by country.

Some women don't want to be FLOTUS.

Poll shows Republicans aren't stoked about their 2012 presidential options thus far.

Paperwork backup means DWIs are being dismissed.

Sitting all day might kill you—even if you exercise.

DCF's Sunday poem recalls the Kelly Ashner used car commercials.

The yeti is an unseen guardian angel.

Happy birthday, Hank Azaria.

Guy finds 800-year-old remains under his house.

Police arrest fake bell ringer.

Thief tunnels through wall, steals Warhol painting.

Cocaine Christmas.

U.S. lets companies do business with blacklisted nations.

The year in pictures.

Arkansas has had 500 earthquakes since September.

At least 45 people have been lynched in Haiti since beginning of cholera outbreak, most of them voodoo priests.

Pot Robertson.

Paris airport running low on deicer.

New pill may help alcoholics have just one drink.

Meet Ibrahim Hassan Al Asiri.

Herion and cocaine are better than alcohol, and better for you.

This little Nissan can go 47 m.p,h.

Besides the Chaplin film, here are more cell phones in the past.

JFK speech-writer Ted Sorensen has died.

Here’s some bad news about forgetting to pay your bills.

Mom Cave or Nurture Nook?

Fishermen found WWII bombs on the Galapagos Islands.

The Texas Supreme Court quoted Spock in an opinion.

Og. The 13th APD shooting of 2010.

Albuquerque ceiling chunks fall. That actually happened to me in college; the ceiling fell down and smashed my desk.

Randy Travis filed for divorce… in Albuquerque? (Thanks to Adelita at DCF for this juicy local tip.)

Phil Cooney is $10 billion overdrawn and must surrender Paraguay.

Polls show Martinez leading by 10%.

Happy birthday, Peter Ostrum.

A Dallas woman was bitten by the Chupacabras.

Here are the Emmy winners.

There were shootings in Arizona and Alaska.

One time, a monkey rode a goat.

A deadly volcano erupted in Indonesia.

Smell the screams of freshly mowed grass.

A bag of cocaine fell out of Paris Hilton’s purse.

Six secret things from Cracked.com.

Martin Short’s wife died.

Pay dirt on my claims about heavy drinking.

Here’s a $2 million car.

The Ghost Train hunter can now be seen haunting the rails at night.

APD shut down that one party place.

There was a stabbing in the South Valley.

West Mesa High doesn’t like Juggalos.

Rudolfo Carrillo reports from Bubonicon 42.

Happy birthday, Lewis Black.