Step one to dealing with a smart phone when you have ADHD: Turn your notifications off.

“I like him!” Paul Ryan says smiling while submerging himself in a tank of bleach.

Um, Loretta Lynch for president, PLEASE!

These pups can bring world peace.

What is the most watched television show in New Mexico? Have you ever heard of it?

Instead of stopping our use of fossil fuels, let's give cows oregano to combat global warming.

For-Profit schools are watching this closely (unless they're swimming in a pool of money).

Police are on the lookout for a man who may be connected to a double homicide that happened on Tuesday.

The horrible nitwit George Zimmerman tried to auction off the gun he used to murder Trayvon Martin.

Trans woman harassed by dumb idiots that work for the TSA.

Did the Holy Spirit move House Speaker John Boehner to change his party from “Asshole” to “Philanthropist”? Only time will tell.

Pope Francis heals all.

Tasha The Amazon must be an angel (or an alien) because her flow is heavenly.

New students at UNM inspire an overhaul of the local education system.

I encourage you to be a professional, take your job seriously (especially on a Friday!) and look at these otters.

Testeey.

Don't fuck with pickles, man.

Critical thinking is difficult for government officials, but I believe they can do it one day.

This week's contest simultaneously melted our hearts and brains. It's hard to decide a winner when every dang picture is the cutest thing on planet earth.

Here's a few of our favorites:

But since there can only be one winner, we all agreed Instagram user amandastclaire's picture turned our hearts into applesauce!

Congratulations, amandastclaire! We have $10 alibi bucks for you and a surprise waiting for you at our office! You can email amelia@alibi.com to redeem your prizes!

Stay tuned for next week's photo contest guidelines!

Russia is becoming a real problem.

Who won at the 2014 Academy Awards? Did Devin O’Leary guess right?

Sleep and longevity are closely linked.

A baby’s brain tumor had teeth.

You should eat more bugs.

Iranian law allows for creative sentencing.

How’s that bitcoin thing working for you?

Watch a cute panda cub play with a ball.

Try this new deep-fried confection.

Springsteen does Lorde.

Pecans like this weather, at least.

Texting while driving is now illegal in New Mexico.

Rio Rancho votes tomorrow.

What’s happening today?

Happy birthday, James Doohan.

There isn’t too much that can be said about this video…except that even when dogs ruin everything, they still make it all better. It’s not certain how these two pups made it onto the field during this match between the Turkish team Galatasaray and Germany's VfR Aalen. This fact somehow makes it all the more cute.

Special effects creator Carlo Rambaldi died.

Paul Ryan is Romney's V.P. running mate.

New Mexico's medical board passed new and strict rules governing the prescribing of pain medication.

Insane Clown Posse is suing the F.B.I. for classifying Juggalos as "gang members."

Photo gallery of turn of the century Utah saloons and breweries.

The Department of Veterans Affairs generates way too much paperwork.

Dead Jackass Ryan Dunn's estate is being sued.

About half of all New Mexico state workers will receive retroactive pay raises totaling nearly $20,000,000.

I didn't hear about the naked Randy Travis/Trans Am thing until today.

Someone in Spokane is making huge pyramids out of recreation area picnic tables.

"Hobo nickels."

I've always wanted a Dream Machine and here's some for sale.

Arguably the best torrent site on the web, Demonoid had their Ukrainian offices raided last week.

Neil Heywood murder trial details read like a cheap novel.

Olympic swimming fan-fiction.

Dalmatian adopts a lamb.

On this day in 1953, Hulk Hogan was born.

Huckabee says the Tea party should rally around Mitt Romney if he is nominated as GOP candidate. Also, watch Romney “shake it up” on SNL.

New York man charged with plotting city pipe-bomb attacks.

Albuquerque traffic signals could get some changes via city councilors.

Woman arrested for trying to sell a purse back to the lady from whom she stole it ... who also happened to be her own next door neighbor.

Alford's Lobos get 76-71 win against Arizona State - a good feeling after the New Mexico State incident.

Did you miss the American Music Awards? Here are the "five biggest jaw droppers" of the night.

Michelle Obama and Jill Biden were booed at a NASCAR event.

Also, Vladimir Putin was booed at a martial arts fight.

Extreme sidewalk chalk.

Rumors floating around of an Amazon Kindle phone for 2012.

A pothole "saves a girl's life" after she swallows a heart-shaped locket.

The Oatmeal on recent Wikipedia donation pleas.

Who doesn't like adorable pictures of cats snuggling with stuffed animals? Or of ones that jump like kangaroos?

Santa Fe 12-year-old charged with DWI.

What’s cuter: A cat/bunny or a mariachi trio serenading a Beluga whale?

It’s plague season: the fifth case of Hantavirus has been reported in N.M.

After nickel-and-diming the debt ceiling, lawmakers ran out to summer recess before resolving an FAA shutdown that’s costing taxpayers $1 billion a month.

Morrissey / The Smiths will become comic book heroes. Also, Marvel unveils biracial Spider-Man.

The U.S. is finally joining the developed world by moving birth control under health insurance coverage—but there are some catches and a whole lot of misinformation.

A new font designed to help dyslexics read.

The FDA still hasn’t defined when foods can be labeled “gluten free.”

If your house was on fire, would you take this stuff with you?

Ousted Egyptian leader Hosni Mubarak stands trail.

Pro-bike mayor of Vilnius, Lithuania says “Nice parking job, asshole!” to a Mercedes ... with a tank.

Steer clear of ground turkey for a while.

Haiti braces for tropical storm Emily, more devastation.

Everyone stop what you’re doing: Miley Cyrus got a “gay marriage” tattoo.

Also, Amy Winehouse was secretly engaged.

While fact checking a little while ago, I ran a search on Placitas, N.M. and happened upon Placitas Miniature and Toy Australian shepherds—I had no idea there was such a thing, and in such close proximity to my home. The website, linked above, hosts an abundance of cute images of the little pooches that should fill your heart with joy.

Posted to Alibi's Flickr photo pool by our buddy Stephosaurus182.

This is supposedly a flickr URL, but has some kind of problem: http://www.flickr.com/photos/stephosaurus/5361403025/in/pool-1039815@N22

Posted to Alibi's Flickr photo pool by our buddymoongipsies.

This is supposedly a flickr URL, but has some kind of problem: http://www.flickr.com/photos/31979552@N08/5207801376/in/pool-1039815@N22

This week's winner posted to Alibi's Flickr photo pool by member satorumasaokato.

Baby Mantis

By Satoru Kato