V.20 No.11 |


Overheard at the ER

Five Hours In The Presbyterian Emergency Room

Fourtysomething barefoot man, in handcuffs, led out by police:
What am I being charged with?
Police officer:
That's something we need to talk about.

Man, early 20s, wearing a hospital bracelet, consoling a visibly upset woman, early 20s:
You don't have to worry, he's never going to fuck you up again.

Old woman, wearing sweat pants and hospital gown, talking to triage nurse:
I'm tired of being treated like a child!
Same woman, 5 minutes later:
Stop lying to me!
Triage nurse, to receptionist after old woman storms out:
I'm so happy right now.

Man, after taking a bite of his Subway sandwich:
They put mustard on it.

Receptionist, to older biker guy:
Sir! Sir! You cannot smoke in here.

Later, same older biker guy to older biker girl:
I told you it's over between me and her. Over!

Younger woman on phone holding sleeping toddler:
These doctors don't know anything.

Old man with bandage on head to wife (CNN on in the background):
So someone dropped a nuke in Japan?

Old drunkish looking dude, being escorted out by security:
Come on man, I just want to lay down here for 10 minutes.

Teenager with ice pack on his hand, talking on waiting room phone:
Just put my mom on the phone, fucker!

V.19 No.10 |

History Lesson

DayBird - March 16th

37 – Caligula becomes Roman Emperor after the death of his great uncle, Tiberius. He is a sound leader, beloved by all.

1322 – The Battle of Boroughbridge takes place in the First War of Scottish Independence. Ends with a public beheading.

1521 – Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Philippines, where he was killed by natives the following month.

1839John Butler Yeats Northern Irish artist (d. 1922)

1868 - Maxim Gorky Writer, Social activist, Playwright (d. 1936)

1916Tsutomu Yamaguchi, Japanese Businessman, and Survivor of Hiroshima and Nagasaki Atomic Bombings (d.2010). He survived both of them. Atrocities.

1935 – Adolf Hitler orders Germany to rearm herself in violation of the Versailles Treaty. We don’t need no stinking treaty, he was thought to say.

1968 – My Lai massacre. In what would become the most publicized war atrocity committed by U.S. troops in Vietnam, a platoon slaughters between 350 and 500 unarmed villagers at My Lai 4. Charlie Company, led by Lieutenant William Calley, entered one of the village's four hamlets, on a search-and-destroy mission. Instead of guerrilla fighters, they found unarmed villagers, most of them women, children and old men. Quickly escalates to soldiers raping and torturing villagers before killing them and dragging dozens of people, including young children and babies, into a ditch and executing them. The massacre ended when an Army helicopter pilot, Warrant Officer Hugh Thompson, landed his aircraft between the soldiers and the retreating villagers. The helicopter crew were later decorated for their actions with the Soldier's Medals. William Calley was the only one convicted, he served only three years of an original life sentence, while on house arrest. It is a little too early for atrocities this morning.

1984 – William Buckley, the CIA station chief in Beirut, Lebanon, is kidnapped. He dies after being held captive by members of Hezbollah.

1995 – Mississippi formally ratifies the Thirteenth Amendment, becoming the last state to approve the abolition of slavery. The Thirteenth Amendment was officially ratified in 1865.

2005 - A judge sends Scott Peterson to death row for the slaying of his pregnant wife, Laci. While a jury in Los Angeles acquits actor Robert Blake of murder in the shooting death of his wife.

wow. sadness and despair. The Ides of March were quite uplifting in comparison. Flavor Flav was born?