dream blog


V.25 No.33 | 08/18/2016

Dream Blog #370

Grungy Elmo

We're in a hospital waiting room waiting to see my dad. J's trying to distract me from my anxiety by telling me about the Alibi's target demographic: Arnold Schwarzenegger. While J is explaining specifics of this, I'm trying to understand the wisdom of targeting a single person … especially one who lives in another state.

The nurse tells me my dad is ready for visitors. J stays in the waiting room and I go into his room, which was just behind the couch we were waiting on. My dad is Danny DeVito. He wakes up and I say, "You're Danny DeVito." He says, "Yes, but I prefer to be called grungy Elmo." We start shooting the breeze.

Then his heart and brain monitors start going crazy. He stays calm, points at them and asks, "What's that all about?" I run to the waiting room and call for a nurse. She comes in, picks up a clipboard, and starts writing. I'm wondering why she isn't doing anything or calling for more help. His monitors flat-line and he looks like he's asleep. The nurse turns to me and, with a chipper attitude, says, "That's weird. People don't usually have such a massive stroke until they're much older." I begin to cry into my hands.

With my head in my hands I hear a monitor start to beep. I look up and Danny DeVito has transformed into Aughra (from the Dark Crystal). The brain monitor is beeping, but the heart monitor is still a flat line. She opens her eyes: her irises are a milky pink. I think to myself, "As if she wasn't terrifying enough already: now she's a zombie."

She begins to sit up. I think to myself, "When I wake up I'm going to sleep on the couch." She looks right at me and moans.

I wake up, gather my things. And head for the couch.

V.25 No.29 | 07/21/2016
暮しの手帖社 / Public Domain

Dream Blog #369

"That's not at all what the book is about."

I'm at my friend S's house. She lives on top of the mountain. She's half Japanese and recently returned from Japan with a bunch of cool stuff. One of the items she brought back was a book. I'm looking it over. Another friend, Z, asks me what the book is about. I don't really understand it all but it starts off sort of as a comic adventure and slowly turns pornographic. S asks me how much Japanese I know. I explain that I can read kana and know a smattering of kanji and have a limited, though functional vocabulary. She tells me "Oh, okay. That's not at all what the book is about. It's actually a feudal romance." I'm lying down looking at the book trying to figure out how I misunderstood it. S pulls back my eyelids to determine how high I am. I put the book down and she offers me ecstasy. I don't have any money to pay her for it and I have to drive back down the the mountain, anyway, so I decline.

Dream Blog #368

"They didn't even flinch"

N is running a video store among other things. He's got some fancy old computer with a huge CRT and runs vintage role playing software. It's old but impressive for what it is. B is helping me make a character. There's a program that controls character creation. The software is somewhat hard to use but extremely capable. It's something like an early World of Warcraft. N sends B out on an errand (to get something yellow?) There’s a weird tension between them. I'm not sure if it’s because of me or if something happened before I got there. I get stuck on character creation and wait for B to get back to help me. The store is filling up with people so I try to stay out of the way. When B gets back I go out to the parking lot with her. It’s daytime. I look up at her. She’s radiant in the sun. She tells me something but I don't catch/couldn't hear/immediately forget what. I go back in the store as she leaves again to continue on her errand. I go in through the back door. It’s hot in the store so N has propped the back door open with my backpack. It's nighttime. Realizing that it's likely to get stolen, I look for something less tempting to hold open the door. I find a tall thin wicker or rattan waste basket, like one I had in my youth. As I head back to replace it, I see two stereotypical thugs take my backpack. They notice me and bolt. I run out the front of store to head them off. I throw the wicker basket at them, splitting them up. I manage to grab the one with my bag as he suddenly stops running. Grabbing him around the neck from behind in a choke hold, I look over his shoulder and realize there's a group of three cops, one unarmed, one with a pistol and one with an assault rifle. The weapons are trained on the thief. I let go and back off. The cops issue a command and I drop to the ground so as not to get shot. The thief says defiantly ”Well, I guess you’re going to have to shoot me!” He lifts his shirt, draws a gun and fires 45 degrees off target from the police, presumably in an attempt at suicide by cop. They are unfazed and get him to the ground. I realize it's someone I went to high school with. He begins insulting all of us and thrashing at me with his legs. He says something particularly insulting so I move into range of his legs and make contact with his foot. One of the cops and I say in unison “looks like you’re getting charged for assault, too.” He's really angry now, mule kicking from his back with his hands in handcuffs. I go back into the store. A customer in the back near a shelf asks me what happened. I tell him the story. I tell him that when he drew on the police “they didn’t even flinch.”

Whitney Bank / Public Domain

Dream Blog #367

"I'll see you in court!"

I’m in the pet department of a store with my backpack. I’m trying to avoid one of the employees an isle over while acting inconspicuous. I head to the isle he is in and looking over a low palette of fish tanks I no longer see him. Looking around, I can see out of the corner of my eye that he has gone down an adjoining isle and is now behind me. I take note of a four legged fish, approximately the size of a monitor lizard with a combined shape of a lizard, fish and small dog. It’s striped like a zebra and has brightly colored fringe around it’s gills, running from the top of its head down its back, and on its elbows and the back of its knees. I continue to try to remain inconspicuous as I leave the area into the rest of the store. Outside I’m with a group of friends who are trying to buy some weed. It turns out to be a police sting. I know I don’t have anything on me so I’m not particularly worried, but I duck behind a car just to double check that I haven’t inadvertently left something in my backpack. Going through it I find a crown royal bag that has a small container about the size of lip balm in it. Just as I discover it I realize the cops have taken notice of me and ditch it just in case. One of them goes through my backpack and pulls out my check book. In the check book I’ve written in chalk some notes about buying from Corsair and the price. He takes this to be information of a drug deal despite my attempts to explain that Corsair is a brand of RAM. The guy is being a huge dick. I begin to argue with him and mouth off “Fuck you, I’ll see you in court.” I make a joke to my friend, L, who's a really big dude, about how maybe we should just kick their asses and get out of there. The joke is particularly funny because the cop dealing with him is about twice L's size. The cop is black and his teeth are small and widely spaced, like a puppy's. The big cop says “huh?” so I ask him if it’s okay for me to be extremely candid before I tell him the joke.

Dream Blog #366

Fishtanks

I'm in a courtyard. There are ponds and fish tanks. My dog, Z. has dug space around and under a pond that's approximately the size, shape and depth of a bathtub, so that she can get under it. The water, though suspended by nothing, keeps its shape. Z. wriggles under it without disturbing it or getting wet. The water is a milky blue. We're standing next to one of the fish tanks. I take a sip of the salty water from the corner of the tank. A friend is waiting to hear whether the fish in it is sick so he can eat it. There are several sandwich baggies of cocaine in a long, shallow, translucent piece of tupperware. It's reportedly of low quality. Inside a hallway lined with walnut panels we're looking through the open door to the restroom. At textured, amber colored glass window sits half way up and runs the length of the room. A woman tells me how young I still am and to "Just ask A."

V.25 No.24 | 06/16/2016
pixabay

Dream Blog #363

I'm standing in a cave with water flowing in and out. The tide is coming in but I'm not panicking, in fact, I'm enjoying myself. I'm playing with a mysterious animal. I think it's an eel, but I can't see anything except the torso because the animal wants to be petted. It's dark and slimy and squirming and keeps slipping out of my arms, which can barely wrap around the torso.

There is no direct light, just what little comes in from the outside. I can't see outside the cave except the brief moments between when the waves are entering the cave or receding.

I'm giggling at the creature.

I wake up.

V.25 No.16 | 04/21/2016
via compfight

Dream Blog #360

My dog Igloo and I launch into space from the front pasture at my parents' house. It's nighttime, and the sky is a dark blue with the lights of the Milky Way dotted across the expanse. Actually, it's less of a launch and more of a jump. After we pass the atmosphere, I can't tell how much progress we're making because there's barely a breeze. It's black around us scattered with distant stars, but I still see the glow of the Earth creeping up from behind us.

I look at Igloo and pet his head. I look down at the Earth—round and innocent—and it's slowly drifting away. I notice a red string tied to my ankle and his ankle that go all the way back down to somewhere on the surface of our planet. I look up toward Mars, far in the distance, and then back to Iggy. He rolls over so I can rub his belly while we travel.

I wake up.

V.25 No.13 | 03/31/2016
Like this but instead of a cow, it's me (a human)
via compfight

Dream Blog #356

“Hi, Nana,” I say to a skeletal hummingbird that lands on my finger. It crawls up my arm extending extra legs that are spidery and long but retract back into the creature. I walk across a grassy hillside during the late morning as the creature walks back and forth between my shoulders. There's a tall, thick tree with many branches full of leaves at the top of the hill that I avoid; not because I don't want to touch it or it scares me or anything, it's just that I don't want to walk all the way to the top of the hill.

We reach a point on the hill and I decide to lay down and rest. Nana flutters above my head as I lay down and lands on my chest and falls asleep. I stay awake in the warm sun. There are no clouds in the sky.

I wake up.

V.25 No.12 | 03/24/2016
via compfight

Dream Blog #355

Child Dreams

I'm at my school playground. The playground is huge, the play structures look like skyscrapers. I'm the only one there, and I'm driving around in a car. It's a toy car. I'm driving through the streets really fast. I'm on a mission, though I don't know what for. The ground is rumbling and a giant dog steps out from behind a structure. I recognize it: It's my dog, Sasha.

In real life, she's a tiny miniature pinscher, but now she's truly a giant towering over these immense buildings. I swerve into a side street hoping she didn't see me. She did, though, and she's chasing after me. Each step she takes my car bounces off the road. Eventually I crash near the tallest structure.

I crawl out of the wreckage and decide it's time to face her. I climb up to to top of the tallest complex and prepare myself for battle. I have no weapons. The wind is howling, almost blowing my tiny body off but I stand strong. She throws her head down to eat me.

I wake up.

V.25 No.11 | 03/17/2016
morguefile

Dream Blog #354

Conan O'Brien Unfortunately Becomes My Hero

I’m living in a big city in an apartment with no Pueblo-style influence and many floors. I just left somewhere, a club maybe. I enter the building, go to the elevator, ride up to my floor and exit. I walk past the elbow of the building and notice a door that I hadn’t noticed before.

It’s open and leading to a rooftop garden resembling the Queen of Heart’s in Alice in Wonderland but dark and more dead because it’s night time during fall. I hear laughs coming from behind an ivy-covered wall that’s a few feet away into the garden. A few people are leaving the garden and walking in front of me (rude). One man is smoking a cigarette and another man walks behind him with his arm over a woman. I don’t approve of the man smoking inside so I follow them with my eyes as they walk down a different hall than I intend to follow and I see a man in his 50s or 60s sitting in his underwear on a wooden chair to our right; he’s silently watching everyone. This seems unusual but I don’t say anything. I move past him and walk to my apartment.

I enter, pace around and then leave quickly. I can’t stand being in the apartment alone. It reminds me too much of a hotel. I hate this apartment. I depart through the fire escape and am down on the ground in what seems like an instant even though I was many stories above ground. I walk to the subway and back. I walk past the apartment parking lot at twilight and see a giant kangaroo rat standing behind a tiny, young tree. It’s about eight or nine feet tall and peeking through the sparse leaves. I see someone at a nearby car saying to their passenger, “Oh he thinks we can’t see him. I have to let him play for a few more minutes, he’s just too cute.” I move away quickly, afraid that if the rat sees that I noticed it, it’ll kick me to death. People and their fucking kangaroo rats.

I decide to go visit my friend who lives in a nearby apartment building so I don’t have to go back to my apartment. She isn’t there so I wait in the lobby for her. I start talking to a nice young man, he looks like a young Conan. We go back to my apartment. Now I look like Ellie Kemper in 2008.

After making out and complimenting each other’s hair, not-Conan realizes he’s late for a family event and invites me to go with him. “Sure,” I say, “is that appropriate, though? I mean, we did just meet.” He gives me a knowing smile and reassures me it’s fine. “Whatever you say, not-Conan.” We leave the building through the fire escape again, arm in arm, which would seem difficult because fire escapes aren’t exactly roomy. But then before I can say anything about it, we’re down on the ground in an instant. My hair is messy now but not-Conan can’t say anything because I’m not-Ellie Kemper who can just wave here mane and look perfect.

We get to an apartment building, still arm in arm, walk into their weird dentisty-hotel-esque lobby and he brings me to a wall and looks at me with his nonexistent-lipped smirk. “Hold on.” “Okay, Edward Cullen.” I say sarcastically. He chuckles as he looks up and the ceiling opens enough for us to squeeze through, all the way to the top floor it seems. That’s a weird elevator I think. He jumps and brings me with him.

It’s like we’re falling up. He pushes gently against the wall with his foot when we reach the fourth floor and we land on the carpeting. He looks at his watch and huffs.
“You’re late.” Someone says from across this room. It’s his sister. I know it’s his sister but I don’t know how I know it’s his sister. She doesn’t acknowledge me. She’s sitting down in a cushiony chair. She needed to get out of the party for a few minutes and just so happened to be out in the hall when we arrived.

“I know, I’m sorry. Look, go open the window so I can make the entrance worth it.”

“Fine.” She says. She gets up and goes through the door on her right, our left.

Not-Conan looks at me again, with his knowing smirk, and tells me to follow him. He opens the window that is between the chair and the door and crawls through it. I follow. We’re walking on a small ledge on the fourth floor above a street with traffic, but I’m not afraid. I know if I fall he can catch me with his weird super-jump. Plus, we aren’t going that far. He rolls through an open window and I follow.

No one notices his entrance. He’s disappointed. I’m glad no one noticed, I feel uncomfortable. Who makes an entrance like this? People who want attention #nothankyou. I hear an alarm and I wake up.

V.19 No.2 | 1/14/2010

Dreams

Rowdy’s Dream Blog #132: They Burn a Piece of Paper

I mourn in my truck with some kids from across the street who have lost a friend of theirs I did not know. They burn a piece of paper to make some representative ashes...

V.18 No.50 | 12/10/2009

Dreams

Rowdy’s Dream Blog #131: I possess some super powers.

I possess some super powers. I can fly, I'm very strong, etc. I am battling an evil nemesis in the auditorium of a large log-cabin meeting lodge. An interested audience of mortals stand against the walls and watch silently. My opponent attacks me by producing flying, glowing energy balls that would easily kill an ordinary man. I am able to deflect these back toward him or out through the walls by concentrating my own energy field. He finally relents but demands a rematch. The time is set for the next day. I am now totally exhausted. I go out to get some food from an unshaded outdoor vendor with a wooden-wheeled cart. It is my friend's favorite place to eat and is run by an old oriental woman. He leans close to sniff and rubs his hands together in anticipation. The woman seems only to have an assortment of rather unappetizing creamed vegetables. I decide on a creamed spinach dish which looks more like overcooked broccoli in grey aspic. Somehow it is already time for my rematch. I have not slept. My wife runs up to tell me that I'm late and that I've already been announced. I say a quick prayer as I follow her in, gulping from my Styrofoam plate. I know that my opponent has had time to analyze our first fight an will be ready with something new this time.