gaylord nelson

V.19 No.17 | 4/29/2010
This man, John McConnell, designed the Earth Day flag. He might have also designed Earth.

Earth Wise

It’s Earth Day!

And I didn’t get presents for anyone

Let’s all celebrate as the Earth turns 40 this year. Or it’s the 40th anniversary of Earth Day. Still not totally clear on that. Will get back to you.

The Earth (Day) was founded by Gaylord Nelson. I know you’re going to be childish about his name, but back at the beginning of the Earth, people had names like Gaylord and Garbagina and Ima Butt and no one thought it was funny, because humor was invented in 1982 and has since then ruined those names. So just grow up, Johnson O’Dong.

Earth Day is very important, for reals, because we are a bunch of freaking buffalo in a china shop except for the fact that we just about killed all the buffalo, which makes the metaphor kind of ironic. What I mean is that we are not good for this place, Earth. If I start thinking about it too much I get depressed and feel bad for living in a house and using a washing machine and wearing clothes and growing flowers and asking my students to print their work because grading papers on a computer gives me a giant headache and so much more. Guilt is exhausting.

So what will I do to mark this day? I really do want to bike commute several days a week, so I’ll get going on that. I also want to grow some of my own veggies. I also think it would be nice if the Earth had an anthem. Maybe a rap. So, I’m going to be pretty busy.