This just in: Presidenté Hugo Chavez is still dead.
The bad news: You spent 22 months in solitary confinement in a Dona Ana county jail without being convicted and had to remove your own tooth. The good news: The county just paid you $15.5 million dollars.
Feeling dry? That's because it's a drought. Feeling thirsty? Try to drink around the jet fuel.
Just when you think you're finally done with the frigging Harlem Shake, YouTube decides to go meta.