illegal immigrants


V.21 No.25 | 6/21/2012

news

The Daily Word in blue lobsters, tickle monsters and cave paintings

The Daily Word

The Obama administration announces it will no longer deport young undocumented immigrants as the election draws near.

The debacle comes to a close as the Lead-Coal corridor reopens this morning.

The Albuquerque Police Department drops a hangman’s noose as the official logo of one of its elite units.

Military drone, or transported UFO?

Using Skype in Ethiopia could net you some serious jail time.

An accuser says Jerry Sandusky referred to himself as the “tickle monster” before touching him inappropriately.

The New York Mets are considering adding an autism-friendly “quiet section” in Citi Field.

These Spanish cave paintings are thought to be the oldest in the world.

Who shot J.R.? The TNT premiere of “Dallas” is viewed by a year-high 6.9 million viewers.

Security forces in Egypt surround Parliament after military rulers completely dissolve it.

A Nova Scotia man catches an extremely rare bright blue lobster.

The FBI recovers a rare first-edition Book of Mormon.

Don’t, under any circumstances, purchase these ten things for your dad on Father’s Day.

The Virginia Circuit Court appoints its first openly gay judge.

V.21 No.7 | 2/16/2012

news

The Daily Word in Russians need more sex, gonorrhea needs a cure and every tyrant needs a lover

The Daily Word

Russian Prime Minister Valdimir Putin encourages his people to start having more sex to help a shrinking population.

A football coach resigns after accidentally posting a naked picture on Facebook.

The Center for Disease Control issues a warning that gonorrhea may soon become incurable.

A TSA agent gets creepy with a female passenger and makes her walk through a naked body scanner three times.

Love letters from some of history’s most notorious tyrants. Who knew Josef “I’m as lonely as a horned owl” Stalin could be such a softie?

New Mexico braces with all their might for the fire and brimstone unholiness that is gay marriage attemps on Valentine’s Day!

A father plays a pornographic film instead of The Smurfs at his child’s birthday party. Easy mistake.

Trips to Croatia’s incredibly awesome Museum of Broken Relationships nearly doubles on Valentine’s Day. Wonder how ticket sales compare to Iceland’s Phallological Museum?

Studies show a homeowner does better in the dating department than a renter.

In Santa Fe, the Senate approves a proposal to impose restrictions on undocumented immigrants getting driver’s licenses.

Again? Two Columbine High School students are injured in a campus hammer attack.

President Obama erases $226 million from the Mars exploration program and my dreams of martian discovery in one fell swoop.

Happy Valentine’s Day, from André 3000 and OutKast.

V.19 No.16 |

News

The Daily Word 04.22.10: Gathering of Nations, South Park, Quakes of Immodesty

The Daily Word

The first Earth Day was 40 years ago today.

Should New Mexico give driver's licenses to illegal immigrants?

She was sentenced to nine years after dragging an elderly man with her car, but she's out after little more than a year.

The APS solution: Bigger classes.

Gathering of Nations starts today. (Red Earth will reunite.)

Mom's mystery infection.

Lawyer: He shot his 100-pound pregnant girlfriend in self-defense.

The Havasupai in Arizona won a fight with a university over the misuse of their DNA.

Obama tells Congress to regulate Wall Street's bullshit.

Sarah Palin's Christian nation.

WellPoint used a computer algorithm to target breast cancer patients and cancel their health insurance with allegations of fraud.

Earthquakes happen because women aren't modest enough, says a prayer leader in Tehran.

"South Park" self-censors an ep about the Prophet Muhammed after warnings show up on a radical Islamic group's website.

Kate Gosselin creeped some people out. (She's famous just so we can hate her, no?)

That is one patriotic (racist) pickup.

V.19 No.16 | 4/22/2010
The Daily Word

News

The Daily Word 4.20.10: Ash Cloud, James Bond, iPad Thieves

40,000 Americans are stranded in Britain due to the flight-cancelling cloud of volcanic ash.

Arizona police are now authorized to ask suspected illegal immigrants about their citizenship.

Two thieves sever a Denver man’s finger to steal an iPad.

The “fat gene” can also raise the risk for having Alzheimer’s disease.

A British woman suddenly “gets” a Chinese accent as a result of a bad migraine.

The latest James Bond film is put on hold due to tough financial times at MGM.

A local man hurts his one-year-old child due to a reported demonic possession.

Rio Rancho plans to install several red light cameras in response to the budget shortfall.

Don’t drink the water on UNM’s campus.