Mitt Romney will not run for president in 2016.

Rapper Suge Knight was arrested early this morning on suspicion of a hit-and-run that killed a man.

The aggravated assault case against George Zimmerman (who was acquitted for the killing of unarmed teen Trayvon Martin) was dropped after his girlfriend recanted her story.

As gay rights acceptance is becoming de rigeuer in modern America, religious conservatives believe they're being persecuted. As Wayne Campbell would say, “yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt.”

Blogger Brandon Stanton started an Indiegogo campaign that raised over $1 million to send Brooklyn students on field trips to Harvard.

The Two Eagles balloon flying over the Pacific (carrying Burqueño Troy Bradley) has beaten a duration record!

We are living in the iGeneration, and the American Academy of Pediatrics wants government-issued guidelines on how to manage children and social media.

Juan Galindo was found guilty of sexually assaulting and murdering a 4-week-old baby.

For the first time ever, Spaceport America will host a Private Pilots Fly-in on Valentine's Day in Las Cruces. Road trip!

A man who has been dead for over two years was recently reappointed to a county industrial authority board in Uniontown, Pa.

Dozens reported dead after double car bomb explosions in Damascus.

APD officer ordered to take paid leave after neighbors report he encouraged them to fight.

Statistics kill yer Powerball buzz.

Major energy company exec. faces criminal charges in wake of 2010 coal mine disaster.

The EPA bars oil giant BP from getting new contracts.

APS leadership stonewalls TV news station.

Post-election bro-down.

Baby rhino arrives via FedEx.

Bernalillo County Commission candidate Simon Kubiak applied for a Metro Court judgeship.

Slayer holiday "jumper" (sweater?) unfortunately sold out.

Egocentric gift-giving tips.

Holiday gadget gift guide, 1952.

Japanese street performers, documented.

Fire retardant freakout.

Tree tents!

Shinichi Maruyama's frozen motion ("Nude").

It’s all over now but the schadenfreude. Watch Facebook users unfriend Mitt Romney in real time, courtesy of Disappearing Romney. Since losing the election, he’s down more than 100,000 friends—and losing an average of 847 more per hour.

This week’s Flyer on the Wall employs selective color and subjective contrast to hype a Halloween show featuring Mark Mallman, Shoulder Voices and Mrdrbrd. Watch Shoulder Voices and Mark Mallman music videos below. Blackbird Buvette • Wed Oct 31 • 10 pm • FREE • 21-and-over • blackbirdbuvette.com

Romney and Obama are all tied up.

SpaceX’s Dragon spacecraft launched successfully yesterday towards the ISS.

Lobo football caught another win over the weekend.

One dead and three arrested after a massive brawl between two wedding parties in Philly.

Lady Gaga upstages the Biebs and vomits three times during a performance in Barcelona without missing a beat.

“Altitude sickness” seems to be the main reason so many darn people visit the Balloon Fiesta ER. President Obama can relate.

Felix Baumgartner’s supersonic free fall will go down tomorrow over Roswell, pending weather conditions.

Group of grown-up rescue ducks experience a pond for the first time, adorableness ensues.

Three teens who broke out of a juvenile corrections facility in Sandoval County are now back in custody.

Two pre-teen girls arrested after sneaking back into a school and spending the night there running through the halls, eating snacks, making prank phone calls and hacking into computers.

High School students in Illinois suspended for eating mints at school.

Men’s costumes vs. women’s costumes.

British teen has to have a large part of her stomach removed after indulging in a nitrogen-infused cocktail.

Mitt Romney does have fabulous hair.

Chick-fil-A bows out of homophobe politics.

Students protest racist anti-abortion propaganda at UNM.

At 11:30 a.m., Endeavour will fly over White Sands.

The Mars rover got some snaps of an eclipse.

Register to vote.

OK, so why isn't New Mexico big in solar?

Oh, that Jon Stewart: Chaos on Bullshit Mountain

Beyoncé is a good role model for the Obama daughters, says the president.

Maybe we should elect Canada as POTUS.

How will LGBT youth fare in a new Tunisia?

iPhone 5 lines are forming around the country.

It's OK if you don't want kids. In 2008, you could just drop them off in Nebraska.

A woman screaming "I'm Jack Sparrow" hijacks a passenger ferry and crashes it into other boats.

Amanda Palmer got more than $1 million through Kickstarter to make an album. People are wondering what the hell she's spending it on.

Work backward out of a creative rut.

What's next in body mods?

It's Occupy Wall Street's one-year anniversary.

(For some additional context, step into the Bureau of Public Secrets.)

Also, Happy Constitution Day!

Banking giants are in the crosshairs of a major money laundering investigation.

U.S. executive branch files trade complaints against China as Romney tries to go on the offensive.

Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel files a court injunction in an attempt to end teachers' strike.

Americans warned to avoid Lebanon today as anti-U.S. protests spread.

An Albuquerque woman is raising funds to help a vet who lost his guide dog.

Puzzling kidney disease affects farmers worldwide.

Aging nuclear bombs get costly upgrades here in town.

Rebels attack energy infrastructure in Colombia.

Obama's "Pop" drank Seagram's, neat.

South Korea is apparently the "male makeup capital of the world."

Miles Davis, pugilist.

Teachers are striking in Chicago.

"A significant accomplishment for the Obama administration and a sign of how far the markets have come."

Peace mission to Syria struggles in the midst of raging conflict.

Yemeni military says their forces have killed the second-highest ranking leader of Al Qaeda.

Romney's shifting health care reform rhetoric.

Gov. Martinez is soon to appoint a new person to the Bernalillo County Commission.

Congressional District 1 candidates Janice Arnold-Jones and Michelle Lujan Grisham held their first debate yesterday.

Chamomile Tea Party propaganda.

Hipster.gov

A case for atomic-based environmentalism.

Rooftop tigers.

Red wine might be better for you if there weren't alcohol in it. Ugh.

Such a douchebag.

Call the State Police instead: Rio Arriba County Sheriff's department will no longer be open after eight pm.

A typo and confusion over the ballot process may prevent Burquenos from voting on a minimum wage hike.

Students in China's Jiangsu province say they are being forced to manufacture the iPhone 5.

R.E.M. doesn't like the "puff adder brand of reportage" at Fox News.

The mystery of the "West Seattle hum" is solved.

People are on edge about circumcision in Germany.

How many people should a woman sleep with?

Wells Fargo foreclosed on an elderly couple's home... twice.

Wells Fargo fired a man for using a fake dime at a laundromat 49 years ago.

Gah! Bed bugs in the literature section.

Julian Assange, the movie.

Larry Flynt is offering one million dollars to anyone who produces Mitt Romney's tax records.

President Obama has a sense of humor. The jury's still out on Mitt Romney.

Parts of Romney's presidential platform are a bit fuzzy.

Roodharigendag Breda.

Long Island Tornado.

Oldest Ford in existence is up for auction.

On this day in 1958, Runaway Lita Ford was born.

Anything is possible in the year of the Poodle Moth.

Bill Nye prefers science.

Prince Harry’s clothes are removable.

A hilarious bigfoot joke took a tragic turn. As oft they do.

A man killed 70,000 chickens. But it could have been an accident.

It’s never funny to joke about killing Mitt Romney.

Marijuana can permanently lower your IQ. It can also make the word “permanently” echo permanently in your mind. “Permanently… permanently…”

In other stoner news, this kid thought his mom was making him wear a sign as punishment. She said she was thinking about it.

Not all celebrities look like they have good breath, Russell Brand.

Tom Hanks’ PR people try desparately to make him appear human.

Mirror, mirror on the wall.

A shot was fired at Expo New Mexico. Some people get nervous when the words “fired” and “Expo New Mexico” are used in the same sentence.

Jeremy Brooks and Justin Rael didn’t think they’d end up in the news. But they did.

Happy birthday, Gates McFadden.

Pussy Riot gets two years for speaking out against Putin.

Several articles on the Washington Post today are pissed off at President Obama. Here’s one of them.

Between Obama, Romney, Biden and Ryan, Who’s the biggest bro?

Eastdale softball rules!

If you’re a cop who likes beating people, tasing them and stepping on their head when they’re trying to surrender, a warrant wouldn’t hurt.

Hatch wins a green chile battle.

Baldwin on fracking.

From Amish to rodeo.

People who can’t spell vs. Islam.

Ow! ... just ow. (may be NSFW)

Speaking of assholes, we all know that Kobe Bryant is one. So is his wife.

Today qualified young immigrants can begin applying for permits to avoid deportation.

Federally subsidized programs on Mitt Romney's fiscal hit list: Amtrak, PBS, arts, humanities.

Democratic voter registration is down in eight key "battleground" states with an uptick in registered independents.

Meanwhile, frays over voter registration issues heat up in key "battleground" states, including Florida, Iowa, Pennsylvania and New Mexico.

Two maps that track the impact of drought across the U.S.

Dusty Pop Art collection in Iran permitted to see the light of day.

Ailing Russian Kalishnikov factory buoyed by U.S. gun buyers.

Univision calls for inclusion of Latino perspectives in presidential debates.

Visine poisoning > diarrhea = jail.

Staying out of the woods because Aunt Flo is visiting and you're scared of getting mauled by a bear? Fear no more, says National Park Service.

Corrales votes down gun restrictions.

Horse slaughter plant plans nixed.

New Mexico trucking company tries to avoid workers comp payments, gets called out by Tennessee high court.

U.S. Olympians had a record-setting day with Gabby Douglas becoming the first African American to win the women’s gymnastics all-around and Michael Phelps three-peating gold in the 200-meter individual medley.

Oh, and the men’s bball team put up an Olympic-best 156 points against Nigeria. That still doesn’t answer my question as to why we haven’t been able to view their games on regular TV.

Not much change in the job market.

Balloon Fiesta vendors are worried about what they say could be price-fixing at this year’s event.

Where Chick-fil-A ranks in terms of major companies with controversial policies.

Speaking of which, today is “National Same Sex Kiss Day at Chick-fil-A.”

Santa Fe bus driver admits to multiple instances of sexual misconduct, but isn’t jailed.

Sexist photography at the Olympics?

French president fulfills his promise of cracking down on the rich.

Wojdan Shaherkani became the first Saudi woman ever to compete in the Olympics.

It’s tax-free weekend in New Mexico.

The worst commercial for ice cream of all time.

Mitt Romney gains the support of what appears to be a hunk of humanoid plastic that calls itself Jenna Jameson.

Proof that Ryan Lochte is the frat-boy version of Jeff Spicoli.

And because you know you need to know, a little more info on “Gangnam Style.”

"The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so." R.I.P, Gore Vidal.

Happy Middle-Finger Day!

Onlookers laugh at the mayor of London stuck on a zip line.

Syrian government forces use warplanes in Aleppo, while rebels employ "heavy weapons, including tanks."

A.P.D. hasn't been adequately tracking their weapons, according to internal audit.

Albuquerque "spice" traced back to China.

Rio Grande Foundation takes the mayor to task for proposed Railyard redevelopment.

Romney's swing state woes.

Olympic badminton players lost on purpose.

A bipartisan deal actually moves forward in Washington, D.C.

Israel and U.S. defense secretary ramp up the tough talk about Iran's nuclear program as lawmakers approve more sanctions.

The "pepper-spray cop" of UC Davis doesn't work there any more.

Modern human behavior traced back 44,000 years.

Geez, these two are adorable.