Squeezethegoddamnlimeintomydrink! Or, kindly set it on the rim of the drinking vessel—have some class, dude. Making people fish fruit out of icy five dollar liquid is not cool.

Bars shouldn't just be conduits of booze—pride should be taken in the creation of drinks. Might our city's lackadaisical bartenders take a hint from Tales of the Cocktail. This conference, held every summer in New Orleans, celebrates the grand tradition of coquetiers, pronounced koh-kuh-TYAYS. July being far off, another, less humid option is The Craft of the Cocktail, a book that claims to make master bartenders out of its readers.

Anyway, squeeze the lime, OK?