A massive meteor smashed into Australia, and it was caught on video!

So, Disney lied (surprise). Meerkats are not sweet and cute. They are the mammal most likely to be killed by their own kind.

A 200-year-old pub was unearthed beneath Manchester, England. No one knew it was there.

Holy shit. So an ancient Judean king installed a stone toilet in one of his competitor's temple's. Classy.

Breathe easy, y'all. Researchers with IBM, Facebook, Amazon, Microsoft and Alphabet have teamed up and finally made an AI ethics board.

Here we go: The Catholic Church needs more exorcists, due to a reported rise in demon possessions. Obviously, we need a university-level exorcist training school. (That's not a cheap joke by me. They actually said that!)

We will be gaining one second tomorrow, thanks to the "Time Officials."

A very large pig was rescued from a dead hoarder's home, thanks to the Detroit Police Department.

In other Detroit news, a woman pled guilty to murdering her two "demon" children and storing their bodies in a deep freezer.

The debt crisis in Greece is screwing up the global economy.

Shortly after launch, a SpaceX rocket exploded.

A heat-packing pizza delivery driver shot an armed robber at a Duke City Domino's last night.

The bassist and cofounder of the band Yes has died at the age of 67.

A canine named "Quasi Modo" won the blue ribbon for World's Ugliest Dog.

Presidential candidate Donald Trump hasn't voted in 25 years.

Watch the poetic justice of this confederate flag-waving motorcade (NSFW).

Good morning, it’s April 1, 2015

And Colorado is trying to steal our chile,

Mayor Berry announced the latest bike-friendly improvement for our city: painting bike lanes turquoise,

A kid’s party at a Chuck E. Cheese turned into a brawl, which is totally understandable if you’ve ever been to a Chuck E. Cheese,

A former German policeman was convicted of murdering and eating another man, even though the man wanted him to, and also he was really hungry,

you can buy a special Voltron just for your cats,

Game of Thrones is coming back soon, so you’d better spend some time playing with the Game of Thrones Catch-Up-Machine,

And, of course, it’s April Fool’s Day, so uh, your shirt’s on fire.

Now it’s out.

It’s Wednesday, Februrary 4th.

And the growing number of dash cams in Taiwan means you can watch terrifying footage of a plane crash.

And everyone’s friendly in Albuquerque!

Except for this (alleged) murderer.

But we’re working on our homelessness problem! By kicking people out of the parks and making them leave their make-shift shelters.

Thanks to this map, it’s easier than ever to find your nearest neighborhood goat.

BREAKING NEWS: LANCE ARMSTRONG LIED ABOUT A THING

Finally, did you know you can make a microphone out of a pencil and a matchbox? YOU TOTALLY CAN!

Have a great day!

Armed gunmen burst into an editorial meeting at the French satiric weekly Charlie Hebdo and murdered twelve people, including journalists and police officers.

The newspaper, often provocative and controversial, had a reputation for publishing cartoons that lampooned all sectors of society, but especially religion and politics.

In 2005, it drew worldwide attention for publishing caricatures of the prophet Muhammad.

The gunmen, who reportedly shouted "Allahu Ackbar" and "the Prophet is avenged" may have been retaliating against the paper for this reason.

Political cartoonists across Europe gave statements in response.

Salman Rushdie expressed his solidarity with those who died.

Vigils were held worldwide.

The gunmen fled and have not yet been found.

Police in Thailand take alleged killers to the scene of the crime to reconstruct the murder.

Two Louisiana teachers are accused of having a three-way with one of their students.

New York is attempting to pass a bill that limits its involvement with federal immigration organizations because their policies are too “anti-immigrant.”

After many abortion clinics in Texas shut down due to a law that was signed last year, the appeals court is now allowing the state to enforce new restrictions.

Officials in Dallas, Texas, are cleaning and sanitizing the apartment of a Liberian man who was diagnosed with Ebola.

The BioPark Aquarium is attempting to replace fish that were poisoned when an employee was trying to get rid of a parasite in their tank.

It's one thing to sell pot legally; it's another to find a place for your dolla bills.

About $50,000 worth of jewelry was stolen from a dead man's apartment in Albuquerque.

The Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta kicks off this weekend y'all! The Alibi's got the schedule and more for ya.

That's a giant ball … I mean testicle. A man is pushing a 6-foot teste across the US to raise cancer awareness.

The penguin population in Punta Tombo is dropping due to climate change.

A Catholic Diocese in Montana is filing for bankruptcy protection in the wake of proposed settlements for lawsuits claiming the clergy sexually abused hundreds of people over a period of decades.

Amanda Knox ain't gonna “go willingly.”

Prosecutors are seeking the death penalty for Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the man accused of being responsible for the Boston Marathon bombing.

Police may have cracked one of the biggest auto theft rings in Albuquerque history.

Russell Glanton has been accused of touching a girl inappropriately; the gymnastics community is left flabbergasted.

Is Colorado trying to horn in on the green chile?

The Department of Corrections is reviewing its options concerning men behind bars being able to marry and father children while being locked up.

A Pizza Hut employee was arrested for spitting on a cop's pizza pie. Revenge never tasted so yucky.

While the government shutdown still looms, Congress is questioning whether the debt ceiling will be increased and ponders the likelihood of a default.

Al Qaeda fugitive Abu Anas al-Libi was captured in Libya over the weekend and is being held on the U.S.S. San Antonio in the Mediterranean Sea before being taken to New York to be prosecuted.

“World's first flexible OLED [organic light-emitting diode] panel for smartphones"? LG corners the market on curved screens and such.

Dayton, Ohio sees improvements in its economy by lending help to people immigrating to the US.

After an anti-abortion group was accused of picketing a doctor's house in Bernalillo County, the county commissioners are looking into an anti-picketing ordinance to prevent this from happening again.

Jerry Chavez is accused of stabbing his estranged wife to death while his two boys, ages 6 and 12, witnessed the crime. Though his friends have stated that he is a good, Christian man and “would never kill anyone.”

With the mayoral election happening tomorrow, the question remains: Will there be a runoff?

Who knew tarantulas really like to get it on?

A mall siege in Kenya has stretched to its third day, with government security forces trying to get the last remaining hostages out. But it's been reported that two terrorists have been killed.

“Breaking Bad” took home the big prize last night.

A hearing today for Dzhokhar Tsarnaev is aiming to decide whether prosecutors will seek capital punishment for the Boston marathon bombing, since the state of Massachusetts does not have a death penalty.

A body found on Saturday evening in western New Mexico is believed to be an 83-year-old man by the name of Howard Bassett who went missing a week ago during a flood in Mogollon, but authorities haven't confirmed the identity.

The prosecution is scheduled to wrap up their case today in the trial of John McCluskey, who is accused of killing an Oklahoma couple in 2010.

Just some highlights from Albuquerque's mayoral debate, which was televised last night. The election happens on Oct. 8, so don't forget to cast your votes.

Let it be known that if you take too much Viagra, bad things can happen.

Cold Tuscan Stone

Son of a Gun: A Memoir

Something royal this way comes ...

Police have identified one of three murder victims in East Cleveland, and they've charged 35-year-old Michael Madison with three counts of aggravated murder.

German roller-coaster manufacturer is sending experts to Arlington, Texas to investigate the death of a victim who died while riding the Texas Giant over the weekend.

Mohammed Morsi, recently ousted president of Egypt, has gone missing, and family claims he was "abducted by army."

Police are investigating the drowning of 19-year-old Matthew Mares in Los Lunas that happened over the weekend.

APD to testify today in court in a wrongful death lawsuit in relation to the shooting of 27-year-old Christopher Torres in 2011.

Carlsbad farmers could possibly receive less than half the water allotted to them from a network of wells that pump groundwater into the Pecos river.

In a nutshell: If you fake cancer and take $9,000 in donations from your community, then you're probably gonna go to jail.

George Zimmerman trial outcome causes speculation on the "stand your ground" law.

Taking photos of the secretary of state's house and a pellet gun in your car? Someone's been a busy boy.

Apple is set to investigate a claim that a woman was electrocuted by her iPhone.

"Glee" star Cory Monteith was found dead in a Vancouver hotel over the weekend. Police have ruled out foul play.

"Angel" the dog is said to be recovering well after having her throat slashed.

Heavy rain catches Albuquerque citizens in the metro area off guard.

Jury deliberations for the Levi Chavez murder trial started at 8:30 this morning.

K-Y Intense Arousal gel causes Alabama post office evacuation. No joke.