11 things to expect in the future.

Turns out God is a woman and she just stabbed her son with a screwdriver.

Americans are getting poorer, unless you're a congressman in which case you're probably a MILLIONAIRE.

I hope there's a giant at my funeral.

Photo gallery of deserted London Christmas morning.

I love the sea dwelling cone snail, their venom can get you high and they eat things alive with utmost decorum.

Whale sperm is not the reason the world's oceans are salty.

German insurance firm rewards top employees — with an orgy.

The Sacramento Bee has an "Crime Q&A" section on their website.

Kay Stevens, Rat Pack blowj.... er, sidekick died at age 79.

Rio Grande Sun police Blotter 2011.

Five reasons not to leave the house on new years eve.

On this day in 1984 Bernhard Goetz turned himself in to NYPD because he shot a couple kids on a New York City subway a couple weeks previous.

The world population reaches 7 billion this here Halloween. Meanwhile, lucky "7 billionth babies" are celebrated worldwide.

(Un)occupy Albuquerque protester continues hunger strike.

Herman Cain responds to sexual harassment accusations.

Who wore it better? P Diddy or Joaquin Phoenix?

Freaking giant pumpkin carved into a rising zombie scene.

Some more unique pumpkin carvings.

First-born female heirs now have equal rights to the throne of England. Also, British monarchs are now allowed to marry Roman Catholics.

KRQE warns parents against “real monsters” on Halloween.

How to plant and grow a pineapple at home using a store bought fruit... and it only takes 2 years!

Steve Jobs' sister reveals his profound final words.

It wouldn't be Halloween without a good Yeti hair analysis.

Who knew competition was so huge in the delivery pizza world? Domino's employees burn down a rival Papa John's.

Pennsylvania man arrested after stealing a sandwich from a local pub and then fleeing in a forklift.

I know this is getting sort of old, but it just makes me laugh so hard every time.

15 pets who hold Guinness World Records.

Favorite headline/horror movie film concept of the week: Parasite turns wasps into outsider zombie queens.

Sick of looking for a last-minute Halloween costume? Just paint your hand instead.

What is your biggest phobia?

Nick Brown told me he wanted you to listen to Michael Landon sing like an angel in honor of his birthday.