So the Mayan Apocalypse will wipe out all life on Earth in less than a week. Nothing to do except spend your remaining days fornicating and playing video games. We can't help you with the former. But in the latter category, we offer up Dikembe Mutombo's 4 1/2 Weeks to Save the World. Normally we don't post many webgames that are product-related, but this eclectic 8-bit throwback, produced by the Old Spice folks, has the surreal edge of their weirdest deodorant commercials. Each week, the game has been uploading a new level. Towering NBA star Mutombo and his sidekick, a British bear in a Cosby sweater, are tasked with preventing the apocalypse in some manner. In one level, for example, they have to battle emo teens to stop Hollywood producers from making another vampire romance. In another, they've got to deliver a hoagie to pregnant Kate Middleton. The whole thing is hilariously bizarro and surprisingly fun to play.
Lady Porn Poll
What is lady porn? That’s subjective. Male porn is easy to identify--I won’t go into it. I was raised with a healthy fear of saying certain wenis-y type words. But Lady Porn is more difficult to pin. Sometimes, it’s a man on a horse. Other times, it’s a husband made of brownies.
Today we pit two candidates from different demographics (stages of being clothed) against each other to determine Who Is the Most Best in Terms of Lady Porn (I’m working on the name).
(Disclaimer: Not all ladies love men, and not all who love men are ladies. This is not intended to be heteronormative or exclusionary. The great thing about Lady Porn is that everyone can participate. Get gay grandma in on this!)
Vote for your favorite in the comments and please explain why you’ve chosen that particular person with a brain we’re not objectifying.