It's true. The Pit is now deliciously called the WisePies Arena.

APD fired the officer that shot Mary Hawkes sans lapel camera footage.

The unidentified, phantom shooter in ABQ's SE Heights yesterday has caused an elementary school to be staffed by "extra security."

Today a fairly eloquent, top-hatted man came into the alibi offices and made his stance known vis a vis Albuquerque's ordinance against feeding pigeons. How do alibi readers feel? How do you guess the top-hatted man feels?

Charles Manson is engaged. Charles Manson does not have a wedding registry.

UK porn production will be stifled by this recent outlawing of acts.

Maurice Sendak's estate is in the hands of a former caretaker who either has his best interests in mind or is limiting accessibility to his effects and art collection.

Stephen Hawking has some holiday cheer.

Burt Reynolds is selling some stuff.

The Reagan-era ban on homosexual men donating blood may soon be over.

Here is a six hour long video of The Count reciting pi to 10,000.

Turns out, Mingus couldn't work without the cat shit.

A New Mexico company is selling Breaking Bad bath salts.

The family of Albuquerque attorney Mary Han is suing APD, claiming police screwed-up the investigation into her purported suicide.

Is fracking in Rio Arriba County's future?

Albuquerque city councilors may overturn the minimum wage increase that was approved by voters last week.

David Petraeus abruptly resigned from his position as director of the CIA after his extramarital affair was exposed by the FBI.

George Clooney won the election for Obama.

Seattle Police Department explains the marijuana laws that will go into effect December Sixth.

You will probably not be allowed to hunt giant octopus in Seattle's Puget Sound anymore.

The 2011 World Press Photos contest winners.

Denmark is getting rid of the "fat-tax" that was applied to certain foods last year.

Babushkas who live in the Chernobyl "dead zone."

This song celebrating Thanksgiving may cause you to step in front of a bus.

George Takei joins the ranks of Facebook users angry about the money-grubbing EdgeRank filter.

Obama was declared the winner of the presidential contest in Florida.

Does fact checking matter if politicians continue to lie after their fabrications have been exposed?

Republicans were surprised Romney lost because they believe Rush Limbaugh and Fox news.

On this day in 1969 Sesame Street premiered.

Speculation on what killed Johnny Tapia

New Mexico's five corporate legislators

Meth-like bath salts may be to blame for attack of the Miami face-eater.

NYC looks to ban large sodas and sugary drinks.

"Sesame Street" composer reacts to news that his songs may have been used to torture people at Gitmo.

Buy salt made from human tears.

Serpent-handling pastor dies from a rattlesnake bite.

Porn star is suspected of murder and mailing body parts to the Conservative Party of Canada.

The rise of lucid dreaming

What it means to be gay in Iran

Supercars that go 200 mph

American nuns prepare a response to Vatican charges that they're radical feminists.

Your state in sandwich form

Nicolas Cage performs John Cage. Kinda.

Close one in Iowa last night.

Bachmann is out, Perry is reassessing.

Is it now OK for presidential candidates to cry?

New interchange design for I-25/US 550 unveiled.

Teen run over in Rio Rancho Hastings parking lot.

How much money does Sesame Street make?

Bandai Entertainment, one of the major companies involved in bringing anime to America is closing its doors.

Hybrid sharks found off the coast of Australia.

Facebook hands out White Hat debit cards to friendly hackers.

Should smokers who roll their own have to pay the full cigarette tax?

The only known naturally occurring quasicrystal is actually part of a meteorite.

Top 10 worst women of 2011.

Yeti crab is one of the new creatures discovered near Antarctic hot springs.

George Leutz's third attempt at a Q*Bert world record fails.

Dennis Rodman is starting a topless basketball team.

Hey, what's under that woman's dress?

Snoop stops smoking long enough to help a lady win a car on The Price Is Right.

Happy New Year 2012!

Trailer for Steven Van Zandt's new Netflix-exclusive series Lilyhammer.

The 11 best comics of 2011 were …

What's worse than bees? How about zombie bees!

These Christian kids just fixed your favorite song.

Welcome to The Obliteration Room.

Year-long exposure of the Toronto skyline is pretty sweet.

R.I.P. British cartoonist Ronald Searle.

Happy Birthday Yoshimoto Nara!!!

Thanks Constance!

Maybe Van Gogh didn’t kill himself.

There was a naked man in Burlington Coat Factory.

Racer Dan Wheldon died in a 15-car pile up.

Cards go to the World Series.

Here’s that McDonald’s beating.

Sesame Street’s Youtube channel was hacked and filled with porn.

Most complete. Dinosaur skeleton. Ever.

You can forget about watching Tower Heist at home for a few more months.

Here’s the latest in comic book news.

Carve this cool Jackolantern.

Ha ha. Dog gets firecracker.

Here are 12 really weird places.

Does it look like these stars are moving?

Learn all about poop.

Guess who I saw today?

Look at all these weird birthday cakes.

A home invader tried to smother a woman with a pillow.

The FBI released photos of “Toy Box Killer” stuff.

A guy pulled a gun on Walmart security.

Happy birthday, Margot Kidder. (Warning: this clip may induce nausea.)

Thanks to Tom Nayder for the help.

Yesterday's election results here.

Assassination plot #587 against Afghan President Hamid Karzai foiled.

Some good news for Democrats.

It totally rained yesterday!

Can having incompetent lawyers invalidate your death-penalty sentence? I'm asking for a friend.

House Republicans triple the budget to defend the Defense of Marriage Act.

Anonymous may or may not attack the New York Stock Exchange.

Bad news for fans of blowjobs.

Andrew Breibart tries to link President Obama to the New Black Panther Party.

Nazis are being hunted again in Germany.

Astronomers use science the test the legend of Frankenstein's birth.

Israeli scientists win the chemistry Nobel prize for the discovery of quasicrystals.

Apple announced an updated iPhone yesterday, but I'm more interested in this 24-year-old video that foretells many of the new phone's features.

Meet Sesame Street's new food insecure muppet.

Disney will be releasing more animated classics as 3D re-releases.

NBA preseason is cancelled as labor talks put the rest of the regular season is in jeopardy.

I thought this was a crazy fever-dream, but Popeye's is introducing scoop-shaped chicken nuggets.

Ten classic books that were originally rejected by publishers.

It turns out buying groceries at a drug store is a bad deal.

This year's 20 best microphotos.

Are your Facebook statuses interesting?

WIll this current season be the last for The Simpsons?

Two restaurants frequented by my creepy uncle are locked in a legal battle.

Hey Emily, did you see the Coen brothers are making a TV show?

Happy Birthday Larry Fine!!!

Borders employees leave a list of grievances.

Saudi women will get the vote in 2015. Maybe they will vote to change the law preventing them from driving.

A woman was decapitated by the Zeta gang in Mexico for posting comments on facebook about the Zetas.

Faster-than-light-neutrino jokes (scroll down to the comments for more.)

Read this excellent Santa Fe New Mexican overview of how the NM Medical Marijuana program is faring.

Part of this woman's job was to prevent people from doing anything illegal on Cook County Forest Preserve land....

Canada's Conservative government is likely to pass minimum sentencing laws for marijuana cultivation.

Two articles on former U.S. allies, "the Sopranos of Afghanistan," "goodness personified," the Haqqani clan of Afghanistan.

Sesame Street's "G" is better than post season one "Glee."

Pyramiden, Soviet ghost town.

Check out the SPAM Museum. AND the gift shop. AND this recipe for what should have been called "spamosas."

Obama heads out on a Midwestern bus tour to try to connect with voters.

Albuquerque Defined Fitness continues to battle against opening of new strip club.

Sesame Street declares Bert and Ernie not gay.

Who wore it better? Gwen Stefani or the biblical character Joseph?

Global Warming may not be all bad.

Casey Anthony polled as the most hated person in America.

Albuquerque woman using stolen credit cards goes on a shopping spree at CNM Bookstore.

Minnesota wins the mythical creature blue ribbon for the week with a bigfoot sighting and a Chupacabra that turns out to be a badger.

Did you know?

Google has agreed to buy Motorola mobile system for $12.5 billion.

Evidence found that giant sea dinosaurs gave birth to live young rather than hatching eggs.

Incredibly sexist TV commercial.

Teen dies from vampire bat bite, first case in the U.S.

19th-century African-American village uncovered in what is now NYC's Central Park.

Creative and artistic test question answers.

Former inmate arrested for attempting to break back into a California State Prison.

Mysterious orange goo washed up on Alaska shore turns out to be an egg mass from an unknown crustaceous species.

20 plenty-awkward design fails.

You could be a victim of toasted skin syndrome if you use your laptop on your ... lap.

The country’s most dangerous neighborhood is located in Chicago.

Students in Santa Fe have to wear ID badges to class with built-in tracking devices.

There are a lot of people in Miami that have no clue what 911 is for.

Six subway stations in NYC are going to be equipped with WiFi.

Now you can be Buxom Big Bird or Titillating Telly Monster with this new line of sexy Sesame Street costumes.

The Times Square almost-bomber gets a life sentence.

Early poll results show Diane Denish trailing Susana Martinez in the gubernatorial race.

Frito-Lay is changing its packaging on SunChips due to noise complaints.

Kids in Los Angeles can choose and pay for their school lunch by fingerprint.

A man plans to trek 300 miles in his Harley ... with no hands.

Man who was swept away in arroyo identified.

Suspect in theft of Van Gogh painting caught in Vermont.

Man files complaint against bikini-clad police.

Katy Perry handed walking papers at Sesame Street.

Person who is definitely going to hell.

Princess Leia's dad died.

World Series baseball found in Bing Crosby's basement.

Super cute otters being killed by warm polluted water.

Tweaker arrested on drug charges after scaring kids on playground.

Virginia executes its first woman in 21st Century.

Dalai Lama gets Manga biography.

Parental love slim pickens for fat kids.

Concerned “Sesame Street” fans! Do not believe the hype. Cookie Monster still loves his cookies—no matter how much the Big Fruit Industry and The Vegetable Board of America complain about his compulsive sweet tooth.

“He is not the veggie monster,” Gary Knell told the Alibi in an interview earlier today. Knell is the president and CEO of Sesame Workshop, the nonprofit educational organization behind the award-wining children’s staple.

Still, in order to promote healthier nutrition for children, “Sesame Street” producers have limited the Cookie Monster's consumption. Gone are the glorious cookie showers—like Cristal in a Dr. Dre video—during the C-Monster’s signature song, "C is For Cookie.”

“We are doing a lot of work on what we call Healthy Habits for Life, which focuses on simple messages like ‘ sometimes foods,’ " Knell said. "It's a tool to try to promote healthier eating. So a mom in Albuquerque can tell her kid, Look, even the Cookie Monster can't eat cookies all the time."

Now, the Cookie Monster can be seen on TV devouring plates full of kale and apples. To stay true to the his appeal, his profile on the website still lists his likes as, "Cookies, cookies, and more cookies."

“ ‘Saturday Night Live’ accused us of making him the pilates monster," Knell said.

His favorite muppet is Grover, he added. "He's kinda smart, and he drives everyone crazy. I model myself after him.”

So what have you? Who is your favorite muppet?

Check next week’s news section for more of this interview.