V.25 No.51 | 12/22/2016

The Daily Word in the Blood of St. Januarius, a Tiny Snowman in and Where is Santa?

The Daily Word

The "Klingon Newt" and "Ziggy Stardust" snake are two of the new species discovered in Southeast Asia.

So 2016 is officially shit. Even the miraculous blood of St. Januarius failed to liquify during a Catholic ritual performed in Naples. Everyone knows that's bad news.

Some nerds built the world's smallest snowman. It measures a whole 2.7 microns high.

Having trouble getting the fam to play those new board games you'll inevitably get as a present? Here are some tips on roping them in.

Out of the dweeb closet, here I come! Here are a list of some Christmas-themed Doom mods. Enjoy.

Wondering where Santa is? Just call the North American Aerospace Defense Command and ask. There are volunteers there ready to tell you his exact location.

V.23 No.49 |


The Daily Word In Snobby Egyptian Cats, Laughing Gas And Jesus Handing Out Pot

The Daily Word

If you wanna be the new CEO of Abercrombie (apparently they’re still a store) you can be! Because that one guy quit. Or resigned. Or whatever the “cool kids” do.

A local high school creative writing teacher resigned after controversy surrounding a student's story about Jesus handing out pot. (Why wasn’t she our high school creative writing teacher?!)

And who hasn’t demanded a plane be taxied back to its terminal when flight snacks are served inadequately?

This woman dressed as the Abominable Snowman, and her poodle, Lizard, understand the true meaning of Christmas/life.

Any time we’ve asked for a bite of someone’s brownie, it was NEVER laced with pot. Thanks for nothing!

In other more duh-ish news, a scientist thinks laughing gas is a great way to treat depression! Tell my uptight dentist that. He’s stingy with that shit.

And if you have a genius cat, it’s possible she was once an “Egyptian princess” who was “used to being treated like a deity”