survival guide


V.22 No.33 | 8/15/2013
Raye Johnston studies at Flying Star
Eric Williams ericwphoto.com

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Get Schooled

Study Alibi’s back-to-school survival guide

Our annual back-to-school survival guide offers guidance for students of all stripes, in a variety of subjects: academic, cultural, gastronomic and historical geography; transportation planning; survival strategy; and biology, with a focus on local fauna.
The West Wing of UNM's Zimmerman Library
Eric Williams ericwphoto.com

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Do It In Public

Study like a Burqueño

Samantha Anne Carrillo shares anecdotal research on and analysis of environmental ambience and a short list of Downtown, Nob Hill and University sugar and caffeine purveyors.

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Dirt City Driving for Neophytes

Alibi circulation manager drops native motoring knowledge

Geoffrey Plant is your instructor, and this is everything you always wanted to know about booting, DWI and parking tickets, but were afraid to ask.
Carl Petersen

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Fauna of Burque

A roundup of animals and insects in your new environs

Publisher/editor Carl Petersen turned in an extemporaneous essay on antlions, black widows, New Mexico whiptail lizards and horny toads.
Samantha the Revolutionary Photographer via Compfight cc

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Electives and Incentives

Alibi copy editor/staff writer imparts postsecondary strategy

Mark Lopez presents strategies for succeeding in college: gaining experience in your desired field, getting along with profs, saving money on books and staying well all the while.
V.21 No.33 | 8/16/2012
Jeff Drew jeffdrewpictures.com

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Survival Guide Spectacular

A 1,000-pound gorilla of wisdom

Sound the trumpets! The Weekly Alibi turns the page on its millennial issue this week. That's 1,000 editions of the best food, film, news and entertainment coverage ever to lay ink on this great City of Duke. We drew from this pool of past insight to put together our annual Survival Guide.

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Survive! Buffet Endurance Sports

1992

Heap your plate as full as possible. Begin eating. Do not stop eating until your plate is empty. Don’t talk or look up until your plate is empty.

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Survive! Collegiate Attire

1993

“Doc Martens, shorts, sundresses, Doc Martens, and tattoos.”

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Survive! The Roach Apocalypse

1993

“During the blistering hot day they stayed beneath the floor, within the brick-walled foundation, where the leaky water and waste pipes provided enough support for their hard-shelled orgies.”

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Survive! Professional Unemployment

1995

Nothing turns a generous friend, loving mother or gentle lover into bitch concentrate faster than supporting an ungrateful slacker.
Scott RIckson

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Survive! Selling Your Body

2004

There are several relatively lucrative ways to sell your body without ending up handcuffed in the back of a patrol car at one o'clock in the morning, screaming for your mama. Even if you've got no education and no marketable skills, you can still make a few bucks here and there by selling yourself—all perfectly legal, I assure you.

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Survive! Required Reading

2005

Alibi fast-food critic Nick Brown knows a thing or two about survival. A member of the highly secretive Green Chile Militia for the past 19 years, he spends three weeks every summer training with fellow survivalists deep in the Gila Wilderness near Silver City.

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Survive! The City's Info Hotline

2005

Here’s a list of some of our favorite questions and the responses of the seemingly unflappable 3-1-1 operators:

Why do they call it the Duke City?

One second, let me try and find that. It seems to have something to do with the duke that helped found the city.

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Rex Barron

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Survive! Simultaneously Walking and Being a Woman

2007

I'm walking up Central at 5 p.m. against a cold wind. It's January, and dusk is quickly turning into night as I stride east, mall walker-style, toward my evening class at UNM. Only a block into the journey at Central and High Street, a man yells at me from a large, moving truck. I don't catch the particular crass flattery, but do get an earful of "Wooooo!" A loud honk follows and the vehicle speeds away. Humiliated and angry, I want gestured and spoken obscenities to flow forth and assault these degenerates, but for fear of retribution all I can do is seethe. As I continue walking—under I-25, past Presbyterian, by abandoned and defiled storefronts, passing hooker upon drug-addled hooker—I can now only see the city's ugliness and despair. Along the way I am heckled three more times.

Full story: “Walking in Burque”

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Survive! Ration-Based Fine Dining

2007

The floodwaters are rising, the earth is quaking, zombies are breaking down your back door and you have a house full of dinner guests (of the living kind). Your first instinct may be to pop open a can of Dinty Moore, but you can do better than that. The key to surviving extreme circumstances is to not give up. Do not give up hope, and do not give up your basic human need for fine foods.

Full Story: “Survival Gourmet”

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