Burger King is seeing a much-needed boost in sales due to the allure if its "chicken fries."

Who said it: Donald Trump or Mr. Burns?

A postman rescued an injured man who was trapped in his home for a week and a half.

The ban on gay adult leaders will be lifted by the Boy Scouts.

After being in a coma for 6 months, Bobbi Kristina Brown has died.

Fingers Bloody Fingers.

Over the weekend, President Obama did some serious rug-cutting in Kenya.

The cover of New York Magazines features a photo of all 35 of Bill Cosby's accusers.

Yahoo Serious turns 62 today!

Thanks to Geoff Plant for the Black Sabbath link!

Last night's storm set records for the Albuquerque area.

A man flew over Calgary sitting in a 20.00 lawn chair attached to helium-filled party balloons.

Subway spokesman Jared Fogle is under investigation for child pornography.

A Chinese company has added a "pregnancy" setting to its latest router.

Donald Trump is digging in behind his absurd claims about illegal immigrants and the ensuing backlash. Also, a Mexican man shot a white woman in San Francisco, so ... thereyago.

Harry Shearer is not leaving The Simpsons after all!

Paula Deen did something stupid and offensive.

Let's just start this off with some sad news and get it over with. The 24-year-old missing Albuquerque woman's vacant car was found at the top of the Sandia Crest, but search and rescuers have yet to locate the woman. Seriously hoping she is found safe.

You know how difficult your two sons are to handle? Imagine 13 of them. One Michigan family keeps havin' boys!

The opposite of 13 boys.

American Idol is stil a thing I guess. Someone won last night, but more importantly J. Lo performed a Rihanna song.

Ned Flanders quits The Simpsons and the entire world falls apart. Rumor has it Harry Shearer wants to do a little work outside of the Simpsons and the producers are all like "NOPE."

May 13 1985 was a sad day in Philly. What has changed since the MOVE bombing and what can be learned?

And to make my grandma proud, I've included her favorite publication's list of things you can do with marshmallows. Thank you, Reader's Digest!

A headless sentry guards a cave with a sign around his neck: "Danger, do not enter." The other side says: "Too Boring." I push him over. Inside, there are plants and Fiestaware “Simpsons” vases, each with a surprised look. They begin to snigger.

Clinton warns Syria not to cross the "red line."

Tumblr is currently being bombarded by a massive worm that spreads hateful anti-Tumblr messages.

ENMU toilet paper bandit repents and apologizes for his misconduct by sending the school 80 new rolls of two-ply.

Suspect on his way to jail for drug trafficking tried to hide evidence in deputy's car.

Obama's stimulus spending plan has Republicans "flabbergasted."

20 years ago today, the first text message was sent.

The iPhone 5 is headed out to 50 more countries.

According to former Chief Public Safety Officer Pete Dinelli, APD's problems can be blamed on Mayor Berry.

North Korea's at it again with the whole trying-to-launch-a-rocket shtick.

William and Kate are expecting a wee one.

Maine fugitive James Cameron (no, not that James Cameron) arrested outside of a Hastings on Coors.

Canadian woman says she survived a shooting by her ex-boyfriend because of her breast implants.

Kick-ass drummer mom.

Simpsons-inspired street art.

Mitt Romney wins the Illinois Republican Primary while in turnout in Chicago was the lowest in city history.

Japan threatens to shoot down North Korean rocket if it gets too close.

"That's a big lava lamp, congratulations."

Pink slime to be removed from NM public school lunches by July.

Is it cruel and unusual to sentence a 14-year-old to life without the possibility of parole?

I've been to Tennessee and this anti-science Monkey Bill recently passed seems about right.

Religious exemptions for childhood vaccinations will doom us all.

Now you've got to worry about blood-cashews.

Nokia patents text-message tattoos.

Four guys walk into an Australian bar, order fancy drinks, then parachute off the roof without paying.

Blood Urine Man wins top prize at the Kaohsiung Museum of Fine Arts competition.

In Florida, wearing an orange shirt is a fireable offense.

$200 for a cup of organic green tea grown in panda crap? I'll take two!

Pfizer's recipe for pig testicle tacos sounds positively delicious.

The women of "Mad Men" supercut.

How to tell if you're being monitored at work.

Photos from Frida Kahlo's private collection are on display.

Sigh, another reason to hate The Phantom Menace.

Happy Birthday James Coco!!!

Yesterday's election results here.

Assassination plot #587 against Afghan President Hamid Karzai foiled.

Some good news for Democrats.

It totally rained yesterday!

Can having incompetent lawyers invalidate your death-penalty sentence? I'm asking for a friend.

House Republicans triple the budget to defend the Defense of Marriage Act.

Anonymous may or may not attack the New York Stock Exchange.

Bad news for fans of blowjobs.

Andrew Breibart tries to link President Obama to the New Black Panther Party.

Nazis are being hunted again in Germany.

Astronomers use science the test the legend of Frankenstein's birth.

Israeli scientists win the chemistry Nobel prize for the discovery of quasicrystals.

Apple announced an updated iPhone yesterday, but I'm more interested in this 24-year-old video that foretells many of the new phone's features.

Meet Sesame Street's new food insecure muppet.

Disney will be releasing more animated classics as 3D re-releases.

NBA preseason is cancelled as labor talks put the rest of the regular season is in jeopardy.

I thought this was a crazy fever-dream, but Popeye's is introducing scoop-shaped chicken nuggets.

Ten classic books that were originally rejected by publishers.

It turns out buying groceries at a drug store is a bad deal.

This year's 20 best microphotos.

Are your Facebook statuses interesting?

WIll this current season be the last for The Simpsons?

Two restaurants frequented by my creepy uncle are locked in a legal battle.

Hey Emily, did you see the Coen brothers are making a TV show?

Happy Birthday Larry Fine!!!