the weekly alibi


V.23 No.47 |

news

The Daily Word In Pissing Kate Middleton Off, Dogs Dressed Up As Turkeys And A 6-Year-Old Girl's Skateboarding Posse

The Daily Word

It’s Wednesday November 26th and this rude ass storm is ruining Thanksgiving!

Meanwhile in Southern California, three six-year-old girls are cooler than we will ever be, and skateboard all the damn time.

In Pakistan, 20-year-old Aansoo Kohli teaches 150 children in a shed, isn’t paid for the job, and is finishing her Bachelors Degree,

And if you’re American and you're reading this from your tent outside Best Buy while you wait for a 99 cent TV, joke's on you! You’re doing it wrong!

A local “cafeteria angel” is paying off student lunch debts at elementary schools anonymously and depositing money into needy families' bank accounts, because apparently some people care about other people?

And while the rest of us are consuming questionable amounts of alcohol this “holiday” season and arguing with our racist in-laws, these dogs are all that really matter this Thanksgiving.

Americans can't do anything right. We can’t even dress ourselves! Which really pisses Kate Midleton off. C'mon, you guys! Get it together!

Merry happy Thanksgiving, or whatever. Don’t drink and drive.

News

The Daily Word in Grandmas Who Get High, Ryan Gosling's "Twin Soul" Stalker and America Doesn't Need Gun Regulations, Duh!

The Daily Word

It’s Friday November 21st 2014 and people still send things in the mail!

Meanwhile in California, a totally stable and pretty nice lady left a doll catalog on the front steps of Ryan Gosling's house, because she is his “twin soul”. This happened after Gosling's sister didn’t respond to the woman’s countless emails. RUDE.

And turtles really loved Truth or Consequences 90 million years ago.

If any of you wondered what your grandma does between reading Readers Digest and eating at Crackle Barrel, here’s a clue ,

Add College Universities to the most terrifying places to coexist.

AnD cOpS hErE rEaLly Do JuSt Go WiTh ThE *f~l*o~w*~*!

Truly meaningful things happen all the time,

And this Golden Retriever lived out what we all dream of doing at buffets.

CALL THE FBI! WE NEED TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF HOW THIS MISSING NEW MEXICAN KITTEN ENDED UP IN A DUFFEL BAG IN MAINE!

And even though the world is mostly terrible, this 100 year old woman visited the ocean for the first time in her life on an all expenses paid vacation.