tom brady


V.24 No.18 | 04/30/2015

news

The Daily Word in radiation fines, poop-free beards and Deflategate

The Daily Word

It’s Wednesday, May 6,

And an “abstinence only” high school’s student population is suffering from a chlamydia outbreak.

No, beards don’t naturally have poop in them, (ahem, Constance).

Oh, hey, remember Deflategate? It’s back.

One employee has been released from the hospital and another remains critical after an accident at Los Alamos National Labs.

New Mexico cattle have been mysteriously disappearing. Probably stolen by rustlers. I mean, aliens. Obviously, aliens.

A rapist on probation was thrown back into jail after it was discovered he owned a copy of the “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” DVD.

And the Department of Energy has agreed to pay the state of New Mexico $73 million dollars in fines following a radiation leak at the WIPP underground waste facility.

Have a great day!

V.21 No.50 | 12/13/2012

news

The Daily Word in selling Twinkies, poop coffee and Grammy snubs

The Daily Word

US job growth picked up in November.

Changes have been made to Bernalillo county animal law.

Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen welcome baby girl.

Who wants a a steaming hot cup of really expensive elephant poop coffee?

Man who lost $20,000 in drug money, asks police for excuse note to prevent the cartel from killing him.

In the spirit of Christmas, here are some tips to avoid giving a gift that will later be returned.

Grieving father writes 14-song tribute album for missing daughter.

High magnitude earthquake hits northeast Japan.

Following the demise of Hostess, Burque residents have started selling Twinkies on Craigslist.

The Biebs didn’t get a single Grammy nomination.

Nurse involved in Kate Middleton prank call found dead.

This years top most perfectly timed photos.

V.21 No.6 | 2/9/2012
Photo by Paul Sancya

sports

Superbowl recap

Manning might be Brady's kryptonite

The Giants beat the Patriots again, and all of a sudden, we've got a new meme. The idea that Tom Brady is incapable of beating Eli Manning gained some serious traction on Sunday night, as the New York G-Men beat New England's favorite son for the second time in the biggest game of them all.

While a big story at the water cooler today might revolve around the half time show and the maybe-controversy of Madonna's guest M.I.A. flipping the bird, there was plenty of football to comment on, too. The game, while sloppy in many places, proceeded at a pace that was far from predicted. The 38 total points fell pretty easily under the Vegas-based line of 53, and probably surprised many people who were expecting an offensive slugfest.

With two points scored in the first six minutes of play, the Giants seized control of the game quickly, thanks to an unusual safety. Brady had attempted a pass from his own end zone, which was ruled intentional grounding, resulting in the two points and a return of possession to the Giants.

Just five and a half minutes later, the Giants cashed in on that drive, making the score 9-0. The Patriots were seemingly on the ropes. However, New England started the second quarter by chipping in a field goal after five minutes. They proceeded to make two strong defensive stands, sandwiched by an anemic offensive set of three-and-out, but followed up that weakness by going 99 yards in just under 4 minutes—a performance that netted them a touchdown and the lead to go into halftime.

After the halftime controversy that wasn't—although it's probably a good thing Heather Wilson isn't our Representative here in New Mexico anymore—the big surprises started coming. The slow start might have been expected, given Super Bowl-sized nerves, but surely no one counted on 19 points in the first half being repeated in the second.

The Patriots grabbed a lead, seemingly confident even as the Giants first kicked one field goal and then another, to pull within two points. But the fourth quarter opened with Brady throwing it deep, only to be intercepted. The following drive by the Giants, while resulting in no points, killed enough clock that things were getting to an end point, no matter what. With that same two-point lead, the Patriots were in a delicate position.

That perilous footing proved to be disastrous when, following a null Patriots set, Eli Manning orchestrated a big drive, sparked by a dazzling 38-yard Mario Manningham sideline catch. The Giants milked the clock and got deep enough field position that Patriots coach Bill Belichick gambled on allowing the touchdown to go through, leaving Brady and co. just under one minute to put together a game-winning drive.

But it wasn't to be. Patriot receivers had ket drops as the game dwindled, and Brady's final Hail Mary pass was batted up in the end zone, falling just out of reach of a diving Rob Gronkowski. It resulted in a 21-17 G-Men win.

Belichick and Brady are now 3-2 in Super Bowls together, and Manning is 2-0. No one can deny the Patriots their place as a dynasty, but it appears there is a new force to be reckoned with at the top of the heap.

V.20 No.10 | 3/10/2011

news

The Daily Word: Mardi Gras, Charlie Sheen is Crazy, Texas is Crazier

The Daily Word

Batshit crazy Charlie Sheen is officially fired from “Two and Half Men” and vows lawsuit. Winning.

...Even Gary Busey of all people is praying for the poor guy.

Today is Mardi Gras! Here’s what you should eat and drink during the festivities.

Why would you adopt a son if you’re just going to keep him in a dog crate all day?

A woman was found to be hiding $170,000 in her underwear at JFK Airport.

I wish Tom Brady would stop screwing with his hair and start learning to win a playoff game.

Don’t steal severed feet from accident scenes to make into dog toys.

Silver City is burning. Badly.

Texas lawmakers approve a bill mandating an ultrasound before an abortion.

Calm down, everyone; ridiculously popular game Angry Birds is coming to Facebook.

Close to 500 people showed up at the Roundhouse last night for a pro-immigrant vigil.

God of the Geeks George Lucas is taking a prop designer to court for selling stormtrooper helmets.

Is “LOL” slowly being phased out?? OMG!