vantablack


V.25 No.9 | 03/03/2016

The Daily Word in Toddler Attorneys, Dogs Against Robots and Bromance For Your Health

The Daily Word

Vantablack is the darkest material ever made; so dark that only 0.036% of light is reflected off of it. It has astronomical and military applications, but artists are pissed that they won't have access to it. Can't please everybody.

Here's a video of a little terrier barking at the Boston Dynamics robot named "Spot." My dog still barks at hot air balloons.

This local biker gang has taken it upon themselves to do whatever they can to stop child abuse. Thanks to their efforts, ABQ kids have a place to go when things are rough at home.

In 1948 a man was shot after an apparently heated psychological discussion (beer was involved). What he said: "You don't even know how to spell psychology." Buddy's answer: "I'll show you!"

In a sworn deposition, longtime immigration judge Jack H. Weil said twice that 3-year-olds can represent themselves in immigration court cases. Why? Lawyers are expensive, bro. d'uh. Do you really want your tax dollars being used to help out lazy, job-stealing toddlers? Didn't think so.

A study is saying that men need "Bromance" to help lower stress levels at the end of the day. From my understanding, this means towel-popping and dick jokes are signs of healthy living. (I told you so.)

The National Fiery Foods & Barbecue show continues today at the Sandia Resort & Casino. Sales of Maalox and milk skyrocket.

V.23 No.28 |

music

Now Hear This, Vol. III

Consumers of my dancing-about-architecture reportage are probably aware of my frequent use of the adjectival "blackety-black." It's really just an overly precious synonym for: atramentous, ebony, jet, obsidian, onyx, pitch, slate, sloe and the like. But thanks to British scientists at Surrey NanoSystems, there's now an honest-to-goodness blackety-black. It's called Vantablack (or super black), and it's record-breaking darkness absorbs all but .035 percent of light. It's so damn black that the human eye has difficulty discerning its dimensions. Like a freaking black hole. Its primary intended applications are terrestrial, space and air-borne optical instrumentation. But now hear this: The Little Black Dress will never be the same.

The Daily Mail reports that it's created using carbon nanotubes—"which are 10,000 thinner than human hair and so miniscule that light cannot get in but can pass into the gaps in between"—and if that isn't enough, it's 10 times stronger than steel and conducts heat seven-and-a-half times more effectively than copper. Yeah. Owing to my obsessive-compulsive nature, themes prove irresistably attractive, so here are my favorite songs that pay tribute to blackety-black, er, Vantablack. Share your favorite black-centric tracks in the comments, fellow darklings.