A few years ago I was walking around my neighborhood, minding my own business. Two men whom I had never seen before approached me, speaking a strange language.

“Who are they? What do they want? Are they a threat?” I wondered silently and watched them from the corner of my eye.

The one closer to me held a stick by his face and it began to make noise. I was in shock.

“What is this? Witchcraft?” I reeled. Then it became pleasant. I lost myself in the whistling. I began to dance in a way I never had before. I was mystified. It was like my consciousness had been taken over by a higher power.

I regained my footing and left as the man nearest to me shouted something in a pleasant tone.

I will never forget that day.

Step one to dealing with a smart phone when you have ADHD: Turn your notifications off.

“I like him!” Paul Ryan says smiling while submerging himself in a tank of bleach.

Um, Loretta Lynch for president, PLEASE!

These pups can bring world peace.

What is the most watched television show in New Mexico? Have you ever heard of it?

Instead of stopping our use of fossil fuels, let's give cows oregano to combat global warming.

For-Profit schools are watching this closely (unless they're swimming in a pool of money).

Police are on the lookout for a man who may be connected to a double homicide that happened on Tuesday.

The horrible nitwit George Zimmerman tried to auction off the gun he used to murder Trayvon Martin.

It's Monday and I don't know about you, but I'm feeling fantastic.

I think it's time to leave work. Have a good weekend, everyone.

Did you see Monday's episode of Antiques Roadshow? If so, you might have noticed Alibi Sales Director Sarah Bonneau excitedly showing off her Pablita Velarde painting.

If you missed it, here it is! he Also worth noting: the creepy robo-deer skull the guy holds up right before the video ends.

You are about to enter another dimension. A dimension of A/V. This is the middle ground between mediocre and too-good-to-be-true, between something called "reggae" and the sound angels emit. You are traveling deep into the realm of rad tuneage. Next stop, Now Hear This!

Zachary James Watkins and Marshall Tramell aka Black Spirituals bring "black resonance" to Spirit Abuse (1103 Fourth Street NW) tonight. Our interview "Postmodern Black Spirituals" yielded more insight than we could fit in print. For instance, the project's name originates from Watkins finding a dusty cassette in a closet; the recording within was a 1970s lecture by activist, scholar and singer Bernice Johnson Reagon on the roots music of black slaves in America. Black Spirituals tour in support of their forthcoming SIGE Records cassette Of Deconstruction. Five bucks gets you in to the most intriguing concert of the week. The sympathetic vibrations amp up at 9pm, and Bigawatt and Mesa Ritual open the show. I'll see you there.

If you feelin' more metal than avant-garde, scope Alibi resident hesher Constance Moss' previews of two heavy gigs. Tonight at Sister (407 Central NW) revel in crossover metal, hardcore, "low desert punk" and sludge metal with Corrosion of Conformity, BL'AST!, Brant Bjork and Lord Dying. Scope "Melt Your Face Off" for all the deets.This 21-plus gig starts at 8:30pm, and admission is $15.

On Sunday night at Sunshine Theater (120 Central SW), Geoff Tate's Queensrÿche—featuring former members of Dio, Ozzy and AC/DC—brings a mishmash of nostalgia and brand-new heavy. Read Moss' Show Up! column to learn more about the drama surrounding Tate's physical and verbal abuse of his bandmates and consequent firing, the ensuing legal battle and future of Queensrÿche. According to our in-house metal expert, this show will not be a "pathetic and flaccid mockery of itself." Irish rock outfit The Voodoos open this all-ages concert, and presale tickets are $25.

Last week in "Now Hear This, Vol. V" I hyped much-buzzed about hometown swervegaze idol REIGHNBEAU's inclusion in tonight's Nothng Forevr showcase at Burt's Tiki Lounge (313 Gold SW). Burqueño electro standouts BK Beats, The 1960 Sci-Fi Era and Nathan New round out the bill for this 21-plus vowel-eschewing celebration. The aforementioned artists begin casting sonic spells at 9pm, and there's no cover, man.

You are about to enter another dimension. A dimension of A/V. This is the middle ground between mediocre and too-good-to-be-true, between something called "reggae" and the sound angels emit. You are traveling deep into the realm of rad tuneage. Next stop, Now Hear This!

When it comes to local wizard-themed bands, too much is never enough. Swervegaze wizard REIGHNBEAU has been casting beatific spells—and stealing my vantablack heart—since prime mover Bryce Hample began transmitting incantations into the æther. During the Alibi's latest totally-not-weekly podcast, guests Marya Errin Jones (ABQ Zine Fest founder, The Tannex co-founder) and Mike Smith (author, zinester and Alibi contributing writer) had high praise for REIGHNBEAU's "Milk of Amnesia" video premiere at Guild Cinema. If you missed that rad event, fear not. Screen the viddy below. Commune with REIGHNBEAU, BK Beats, The 1960 Sci-Fi Era and Nathan New in the so-called flesh at a Nothng Forevr showcase at Burt's Tiki Lounge (313 Gold SW) on Saturday, Aug. 23 at 9pm. It's a 21-plus recital, and there's no cover.

During the same podcast, Mike Smith hipped us to the debut music video for up-and-coming alchemical heavies Melanthius. It's a family band featuring siblings Mauro Woody, Brahm Woody and Dhaveed Woody and kindred spirit Eric Wellman. "The Door" video captures the mage collective with shimmery, psychedelic cinematography as they walk the earth, work a fluorescent cauldron and seek nuevomexicano treasure. Scope the vid below, and catch Melanthius' debut gig on Tuesday, Aug. 26, at Burt's (313 Gold SW) starting at 9pm. The 21-plus show is free and also features Shoulder Voices and Billy Crooze and the Dinglehoppers.

Steve Hammond's various projects have garnered a lot of ink in the Alibi over the years. His most well-known bands are twang-and-thrash trio Leeches of Lore and umlautcore outfit Tenderizor, but Hammond is a prolific solo artist and has also performed as Retard Slave and in Death Convention Singers, Knife City, Filthy Jim and Black Ale Sinners. His microlabel, Flying Midget Records, hosts releases from these projects. One of my favorite Flying Midget offerings is Hammond's Cover of the Month Series. Available as a name-your-price download, the compilation features covers of tunes by Miles Davis, Billy Idol, Buck Owens vs. The Fresh Prince, Wire, Melvins, Irving Berlin, Hank Williams, Funkadelic, Neil Young, The Kinks, They Might Be Giants and Beach Boys. Stream or download it below.

Explore the bountiful local music scene further with our Back to School Guide's "Intro to Venues—ABQ 505," "'90s Nostalgia Meets New Wave of Now," Music to Your Ears and micro reviews of new albums by David Kilgour and the Heavy Eights, Naomi Punk and Samantha Glass. Happy listening, y'all!

Let's all congratulate former Senator Pete Domenici on welcoming a baby boy into the world. Three decades ago. With someone who wasn't his wife.

Mad at Route 66 Malt Shop for refusing to pay their employees the minimum wage? Just make sure you're not accidentally boycotting the 66 Diner.

Get ready for a spring time dust up.

Maybe you're a Breaking Bad fan. Maybe you want to corner the meth market, but without all that blood and killing and crime and stuff. Maybe Methopoly is for you.

Violence and crime are dropping in Juarez, but people don't feel safe there yet.

Norwegian reality TV: 12 hours of chopping wood and then burning it. And then receiving angry emails about how the wood is stacked.

Finally, the last Harlem Shake video you ever need to see.

What happens when you run the lyrics to the theme song from “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” through every language on Google Translate? Well, this. Enjoy. Apricot.

A Democrat wins special congressional election in New York, seen as referendum on Medicare reform.

Decorum breakdown at House hearing.

Santa Fe's only hospital caught dumping illegal medical waste.

Does eating local matter at all?

Crazy video from latest Oklahoma tornado.

High speed chase on the west side.

Top 10 business emails you should never send.

Ridiculous tips for a miserable sex life.

Woman sues airline over her unborn baby's food poisoning.

Coffee price hikes outpaces gas prices.

New research suggests that 4chan users are mostly 9-5ers.

Man attacks woman with a pool noodle over a rotting watermelon shaped like a human head.

Already with the top 10 new species of 2011?

How about one more article on Lost?

Winners of the Best Optical Illusion of the Year contest.

Which state is the sweariest?

Pizza! + Lasagna! = Pizzagna!!

Why don't you have a man like this in your life?

Edwards James Olmos joins the cast of Showtime's Dexter.

VH1 is bringing back Pop Up Video!

Comedienne Lisa Lampanelli talks about her battles with the Westboro Baptist Church.

For guitar nerds only: interview with Eddie Van Halen.

Happy Birthday Brian Urlacher!!!

One of the damaged Japanese nuclear reactors exploded. Officials say everything is OK -but here's some iodine anyway.

High Water Everywhere.

"Qadafi will prevail." Here's a list of the 112 ways to spell his goddamn name.

Newt Gingrich says he cheated on his wife because he was working too hard for America.

Intellectual property law and American world hegemony.

Super cool Australian mugshots from the early 1920's.

Amnesty International is on Robert Gates' ass over Wikileaker Bradley Manning's living conditions/torture which involves "forced prolonged nudity."

A Texas state representative has introduced a bill making non-medically necessary abortion illegal.

Daylight Saving Time, not Daylight Savings Time. Reminder.

South by Southwest. The meat market badge.

On this day in 1957, Steve Harris, Bassist and chief songwriter for Iron Maiden was born.

Meet the refugees from Lybia. None are Lybian.

The man who started this revolution is being assassinated every day.

More Berlusconi.

Old School drug prohibition bill in the House. Thanks Steve Terrell.

P.K. Dick fans hate movies based on his books.

Update on the Voina Russian art collective bust.

Maryland is ending it's crab license buy-back program. Save the Bay.

Bold smuggler caught at one of the world's premier interdiction points.

NYC drivers still park like assholes.

This week's TSG mugshots.

This is where the don't ask don't tell repeal is. 60 days late and a bathrobe short.

On this day in 1995 the remains of the missing members of the Romanov family were exhumed in Yekaterinburg.

I know we thought we could put all that Phantom-Menace-hating behind us now that we’re older and wiser and living in the 21st century, but that’s before I knew that nobody had really said everything that needed to be said about why that movie sucked … until now. Mike’s performance-art-cum-detournement of Episode I so richly deserves the viral success it has achieved that I am happy to help push that train some more. The whole 70-minute critique is up on YouTube, but we’ll skip right to part 2, which eviscerates the “story” of Ep. I, and includes this priceless comment:

“The new movies are about shoving as much crap into every shot as possible. This is part of the reason why I find the Special Editions so fucking offensive. Because you're into what's happening in the movie and they keep shoving more shit on the screen to distract you. It reminds me of a child waving his arms in the background for attention.”

Truer words = never spoken. (Thanks for the link, Jesse!)