You know when you’re in the car, mind adrift, and suddenly you realize the worst song you’ve ever heard is on the radio and you’ve been listening to it for a full minute? This happens to me frequently because I masochistically force myself to listen to FM in an effort to keep track of the commercial junk that is considered acceptable music (I also can’t find the adapter for the iPod).
The other day I was privy to “Tattoos & Tequila” as sung by Vince Neil. To be fair, I do appreciate Mötley Crüe in a Shout at the Devil context—and for furthering the umlaut-Satan correlation. Vince Neil’s solo work, however, is more nauseating than thinking about the microbes on a stripper pole—a furnishing with which the female character in “Tattoos & Tequila” is likely familiar, what with Neil’s calls for her to disrobe. The song’s chorus, which goes “show me all your tattoos and drink my tequila,” conjures images of the plasticized, intellectually feeble contestants on VH1 dating shows, as well as permanent depictions of Loony Toons characters and marine mammals near feet and crotches.
I spin this expository yarn for a reason. Last year, Laura Marrich and Maren Tarro did an article for the Alibi called “The Kitchen Ink.” The story and photo essay detailed a handful of interesting food tattoos (and the even more interesting people they’re attached to). Now we’d like to tackle music tattoos in the same way. Do you have one? Then by all means send an image of it to firstname.lastname@example.org. In a few weeks I’ll show you the tattoos that least resemble the ones that are probably on the girl in the Vince Neil song.