Alibi V.13 No.12 • March 18-24, 2004 

Aural Fixation

Various Artists Roasting Posers: Volume 1 (Heavycore DVD)

Let's keep things simple at the outset: There are kick-ass bands (Osmium, Systemic, Soultorn, Low Twelve, Bite the Hand), mediocre bands (Blessed with Pain, Pro-Pain, Three Headed Moses, PCP, Condemned, Ominous) and kinda lame ones (Slugtrail, Alchymist, Skeptic, Skitzo) on this debut DVD installment from the good folks at Heavycore.org. That said, Roasting Posers: Vol. 1 features videos by 16 heavy ass bands from all over the United States that could kick your ever-lovin' ass, and the whole affair is quite entertaining, even when the videos themselves aren't.

For the most part, the bands included here are unsigned and under-represented, hence most of the videos are under-produced compared to the slick-as-shit tripe fed to you in 24-hour cycles by MTV and VH-1. That shouldn't bother you. If you're looking for a Peter Gabriel concert fim or video retrospective, this isn't for you and you shouldn't be reading this.

More than a label or a clearinghouse for metal bands, Heavycore.org is a brotherhood. If they were skinheads, they'd be frightening. Thankfully, their unification is based on two basic precepts: nu-metal is shit, posers must die. I couldn't agree more, even though I don't live solely for metal. The whole idea behind Roasting Posers is offering the discerning metalist an opportunity to decide for themselves what they dig and what they don't, rather than letting friends, cable television or (gasp!) radio decide for them. What a concept, eh?

I should mention here that the reason I begged for this DVD in the first place is the fact that our very own Systemic appears on it. I will also opine that theirs is not the best video on the collection nor anywhere near the worst. And while production quality isn't exactly the main focus here, it should be noted in fairness to the consumer that there are some bad videos on this collection. However, you'll find all that to be quite forgivable once you get introduced to Heavycore founder and Chief Poser Disposer Pete Altieri.

Altieri and a group of Heavycore employees and supporters (heretofore known as “The Couch Crew”) introduce each video and give kudos and the international symbol of true metal (index and pinky fingers raised like Devil horns with the middle and ring fingers tucked forward, you fucking nerd) afterward, well deserved or not. There's even two revolving clips of metal chix dancing on a coffee table to ease you into each vid. The dancing girls footage is laughable and cheesy as hell, as is much of the inane commentary, but Altieri and his crew are so obviously passionate about the bands, the music and their organization that you can't help but forgive that shit, either. Besides, the DVD wouldn't be half as entertaining if it consited only of videos. (Incidentally, there are a couple of impromptu comedic sketches that are a scream.)

Bottom line: Even if you consider metal a passing fancy, you owe it to yourself to delve into the real shit, and this is it. Real metal is about securing the underground and creating an uprising, not securing a job as Interscope VP and making shitty records as an afterthought. In my book, Pete Altieri is the fucking man. If you don't care to listen to me, do yourself a favor and listen to him. He, above all of us, is on the right track.