Bobby Boulders says you ought to jump off and report to the gravel pit. Though such instructions may seem mysterious to the casual observer, we're pretty sure the dude means you ought to ch-check out Wu-Tang Wednesdays at Dialogue Brewing. During such chokin', smokin' and hopin' times you can guarantee to get your fill of OG, old school hip-hop as well as classic jams by those fine fellows from Staten Island. There are two sessions left, dear readers, on Dec. 19 and Dec. 26. Beginning at 7pm—and for free—you can trust DJ Zemo-G to do you and your homies right with tuneage that kills all evil whilst promoting a danceable, jewel-encrusted future. Drinking some of the finest barley pop in town might help you fill your tank, too. You know what I'm saying, right? Step into the groove, right now, boo. Plus, There's no cover for this 21+ hip-hop party; that's what I'm talking about!

For realz disco queen—and forever avatar of a sinuous brand of R&B that rattles the soul as it heats the flesh—Patti LaBelle is gigging nearby—at the Isleta Casino Showroom to be exact—on Friday, Jan. 18 at 8pm. If you are as of yet unfamiliar with the work of the former Patricia Louise Holt, then may we suggest you get right with Bob by listening to just about anything the artist offered audiences in the '80s and '90s, but besides her singular hit with Labelle, there's also Gems, from 1994, if you are interested. It might be cooler if you go check out her concert though. For only $55 and a 21+ ID you can indulge in a sound that's poptastically groovy. Plus, I'm sure her band is effing hot.