Dateline: Australia—Police in Queensland were called out to a “mini-riot” after a man refused to take off his clothes at a notorious nudist colony’s sex party. Police were summoned amid threats of violence and ordered John Harrison of Brisbane and his wife to leave the “anything goes” orgy, reports the Courier-Mail. The incident happened at the White Cockatoo resort, near Port Douglas, which is promoting a month of “adults only” hedonism to boost sagging tourism figures. Owner Tony Fox said the row erupted when four naked female guests protested when confronted by the fully clothed man. “They felt uncomfortable with him eyeing them up, and I asked him to show some respect and take his clothes off,” said Fox. “He then threatened to bash me. There was some argy-bargy and I ordered him off the premises and police were called.”
Dateline: Germany—A recently divorced housewife has been reported for wasting police time by calling 999—the European equivalent of 911—more than 100 times looking for a new husband. Divorcée Angela Stahl, 44, plagued the emergency line with endless calls claiming she couldn’t afford dating services. Two officers finally visited her home in the capital city of Berlin and confiscated the battery from her cell phone. A police spokesperson told reporters, “We warned her on a number of occasions that she was using the emergency services line inappropriately and she could face serious consequences. Emergency services is exactly what it is called—a service for emergencies—and not a dating agency. Having no boyfriend is not an emergency.”
Dateline: Massachusetts—On the morning of Feb. 25, a man from Marstons Mills walked into the Hyannis Fire Department to get help with burns sustained from starting a fire inside his car. The Cape Cod Times reports that 24-year-old Patrick Larue entered the station at 4:40 a.m. and told firefighters he had accidentally burned himself after lighting a small fire inside his vehicle to stay warm. Lt. Roger Cadrin of the fire department explained Larue was parked in a rental car while talking on his cell phone. During the apparently lengthy call, the vehicle ran out of gas. In order to keep warm, Larue decided to start a fire inside the vehicle. The misguided motorist started to feel dizzy, however, and tried to extinguished the blaze. Firefighters who later arrived on the scene said the car was “heavily damaged.” Larue was taken to Cape Cop Hospital to be treated for burns and smoke inhalation.
“They felt uncomfortable with him eyeing them up, and I asked him to show some respect and take his clothes off.”
Dateline: Florida—An angry customer, upset that her local McDonald’s in Fort Pierce had run out of Chicken McNuggets, called 911 three times to voice her complaint. Latreasa L. Goodman got notice last week to appear in court for alleged misuse of the 911 service. During one of her calls, Goodman told dispatchers, “This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn’t have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one. This is an emergency.” The outburst has garnered significant attention for Goodman, earning her mentions on Fox News, MSNBC, the Los Angeles Times and TMZ.com. “We received requests from the media for information regarding the incident from media as far away as the BBC,” police spokesperson Audria Moore said last week. Although Goodman is in trouble for calling 911 over her fast-food disappointment, McDonald’s was quick to offer an apology—and a gift card for a free meal. Announcing that they “never want to disappoint a McNuggets fan,” a corporate McDonald’s official said, “Regarding this isolated incident, we apologize for the inconvenience caused. In the event that we are unable to fill an order, a customer should be offered the choice of a full refund or alternative menu items. We regret that in this instance, that wasn’t the case. We want to correct our mistake. We will be sending the customer her refund, along with an Arch Card for a complimentary meal on us.”
Dateline: Iowa—Some state legislators are upset over a recently approved bill that would change the name of Iowa’s Department of Elderly Affairs to the Department of Aging—leaving it with the potentially upsetting contraction DOA. “I am offended by the use of the acronym for the department,” Rep. Dave Heaton, a 68-year-old Republican from Mount Pleasant, told the Des Moines Register. “You can’t have an acronym like this when you’re referring to elderly people. I don’t like it.” Ironically, Rep. Janet Petersen from Des Moines led discussion on the name-changing Senate File 204 because some people are offended by the word “elderly.” Shortly after its passage, Machelle Shaffer, communications director for the agency, said the acronym would forego the usual three-letter state department acronym and simply go by “DA.” The name-changing Senate File 204 is expected to be signed into law by Gov. Chet Culver sometime in the coming month.