Dateline: India—A long-standing dispute between India and Bangladesh over possession of an island in the Bay of Bengal has been settled—more or less—by Mother Nature. Oceanographer Sugata Hazra announced that satellite imagery and sea patrols confirm the contentious island has disappeared due to rising sea levels. For nearly 30 years, India and Bangladesh have argued over control of New Moore Island, an uninhabited strip of rock in a disputed coastal area known as the Sunderbans. Hazra, a professor at Jadavpur University in Kolkata, has declared the battle a tie, saying, “What these two countries could not achieve from years of talking has been resolved by global warming.” According to Hazra, sea levels have historically risen an average of .12 inches a year. Since 2000, however, that number has jumped to .2 inches annually. Another nearby island, Lohachara, was submerged in 1996, forcing its inhabitants to move to the mainland. At least one official in India’s foreign ministry told reporters that the disappearance of the island does not end the dispute between the South Asian neighbors, as maritime boundaries must still be resolved.
Dateline: Washington—Last week, police in Bainbridge Island detained a shirtless, sword-wielding man found in the parking lot of a hardware store “hunting werewolves and CHUDs.” KOMO.com reports that at about 1:45 p.m. on Tuesday, March 23, police responded to a call about a man waving a sword and stabbing objects in the parking lot of ProBuild. The unidentified 35-year-old man was standing in front of the store with a large sword and had several scrapes and cuts on his body, according to officers. When instructed to put down the weapon, the man did so without incident. Officers found several throwing knives and other sharp weapons on his person. The man told investigators he was hunting “werewolves and CHUDs”—a reference to the Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers from the 1984 cult horror film C.H.U.D. The man also told officers that werewolves and CHUDs often take human form. Based on this information, the officers took the man to Harrison Memorial Hospital for a psychiatric evaluation. Officers said the man had previously been spotted approaching customers at a nearby Ace Hardware and showing off his collection of CHUD-killing weapons.
Dateline: Florida—An ex-con has been jailed for 15 years for trying to break back into prison. Sylvester Jiles, 25, was released last August following a plea deal on a manslaughter charge. After his release, he begged jail officials to take him back into custody, fearing retaliation from the victim’s family. The jailers refused, telling Jiles to file a police report. Less than a week after his release, however, he was caught trying to climb a 12-foot fence surrounding the Brevard County Detention Center. He got stuck in the barbed-wire surrounding the prison yard and had to be cut down. He was taken to a nearby hospital and treated for severe cuts. Last week, a judge ruled the trespassing attempt was a violation of Jiles’ probation and sentenced the prison-loving ex-con to 15 more years in jail. So, mission accomplished.
Dateline: Texas—The Dallas Morning News reports that a mother hurled her own baby though the open window of a moving SUV in an attempt to stop the vehicle from being repossessed. Shortly before 4 p.m. last Monday, police reports say Luke Ross showed up at the east Dallas home of Krystal Gardner to take her 2001 Ford Expedition. As the repo man was backing out of the driveway, 28-year-old Gardner tossed her 1-year-old child through an open window into the back seat of the vehicle. State law prevents vehicles from being repossessed if someone is inside. When Ross saw the infant in the back seat, he immediately stopped the SUV and got out. Then, according to the police report, a 15-year-old boy came out to the house armed with a 12-gauge shotgun, firing one round into the air and one round into Ross’ leg. Ross, who ultimately did repossess the vehicle, suffered only minor injuries. Police arrived at the scene shortly after Ross left and arrested both Gardner and the teen on charges of aggravated assault. Gardner also faces a charge of endangering a child and has several outstanding traffic warrants.