Alibi V.23 No.44 • Oct 30-Nov 5, 2014 

Odds & Ends

Odds and Ends

Dateline: China

A 26-year-old woman from Chengdu, in China’s southwest Sichuan Province, allegedly spent a week inside a local Kentucky Fried Chicken drowning her sorrows in wing meat after her boyfriend dumped her. Tan Shen said she was “walking around feeling miserable” when she passed the KFC restaurant in the city’s train station. “I hadn’t planned on staying there long,” she told local media. “I just wanted some chicken wings. But once I got in there and started eating, I decided I needed time to think.” Tan said she didn’t want to go back to her apartment “because it was full of memories” of her ex-boyfriend. The woman called her employers to say she was sick and would not be in to work. It took some time before KFC employees took notice of the woman. “We work in shifts here, and the restaurant is open 24 hours a day. So we get a lot of people coming through. At first no one really noticed her,” 22-year-old employee Jiang Li Lung said. “When we asked her if she was OK, she said she was and just needed time to think. And then she asked for another box of chicken wings.” After a week local media caught wind of the story and started to run profiles of Tan. That’s when she telephoned her employer, announced she was quitting her job and got on a train to her parents’ home in Qingdao city. “I was getting sick of the taste of chicken, so there was no point in staying anymore,” she was quoted as saying.

Dateline: Michigan

The Van Buren County Sheriff’s Office is saying a Hartford woman was arrested earlier this month after she mistook the Sheriff’s Office for a bar. The 39-year-old woman was spotted pulling into the facility’s parking lot in the town of Paw Paw shortly after 2am. Patrol units spotted the woman backing up while trying to convince her boyfriend to get back into the car. A deputy made contact with the woman and discovered she smelled heavily of alcohol. A subsequent breathalyzer test revealed the driver had a BAC of more than twice the legal limit. Asked later by police why she decided to stop by the Sheriff’s Office, the woman admitted she had just left a bar in town and thought she was pulling into the parking lot of another bar. The woman was arrested, brought inside the building and charged with operating while intoxicated.

Dateline: Georgia

WALB in Albany, Ga., is reporting that a local man was sent back to prison after texting his parole officer asking if the man had any drugs. Alvin Cross Jr. pled guilty to possession of cocaine and was sentenced to one year in prison on Monday, Oct. 20. He got another year for violating his probation. Prosecutors said Cross’ probation officer received a text from Cross asking, “You have some weed?” After the text drug agents raided Cross’ home and found a bag of cocaine.

Dateline: Pennsylvania

A homeowner in rural western Pennsylvania claims a burglar stole some change out of his house—about $10,000 worth. State troopers report the North Mahoning Township resident discovered the money missing in late September but speculated the money could have been taken anytime since February. The pocket change was stashed in seven red plastic Folgers Coffee containers and a 5-gallon glass jug. Police say there was about $5,000 in the coffee containers and an equal amount in the jug.

Dateline: Minnesota

A US Airman on leave in Minnesota who “thought it would be incredibly funny to give a police officer a wet Willy” was thoroughly disavowed of that notion after spending a weekend in jail. Riley Louis Swearingen, 24, of Goldsboro, N.C., pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor disruptive intoxication charge after moistening two fingers and inserting them into a Mankato police sergeant’s ears. The incident occurred on a Saturday night after Swearingen boarded Mankato’s early morning “drunk bus” as the downtown bars closed. Spotting a uniformed police officer, Swearingen decided to perform the dreaded double wet Willy. He was immediately arrested and charged with assaulting a police officer with bodily fluids. “I thought it would be incredibly funny to give a police officer a wet Willy, to which I was sorely mistaken,” Swearingen told District Judge Kurt Johnson. Swearingen, who was on leave from the Air Force at the time of the incident, was sentenced to the three days he had already spent in jail and fined $77 in court costs. The assault charge was dropped after Swearingen pled guilty to a misdemeanor charge of disruptive intoxication.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.