Alibi V.24 No.37 • Sept 10-16, 2015 

Odds & Ends

Odds and Ends

Dateline: China

In order to keep a military parade commemorating the end of World War II bird-free, Chinese leaders have turned to some unusual exterminators—a gang of monkeys. The trained macaques are being used to drive birds away from designated areas in Beijing. The worry is that common city birds like pigeons could strike airplane engines during the many flyovers scheduled to take place during the parade. “We bought two monkeys in April last year from Henan Province. After one month’s training, the macaques mastered the skill of taking apart birds’ nests,” air force official Wang Mingzhi was quoted as saying by China News Service. Three more monkeys have been added to the team since then. Wang estimated the monkeys, who work for treats, can dismantle up to 60 nests per day. Other measures designed to keep the skies free include a ban on kites, balloons and “sport pigeons.” Local airports will also be shut down during the festivities. This September marks the 70th anniversary of Japan’s official surrender during World War II. No word on how Beijing will now get rid of its monkeys.

Dateline: Illinois

According to the Chicago Tribune, a 23-year-old Aurora man sent naked selfies of himself to the human resources manager of a St. Charles company where he had been offered a job early last month. The HR manager contacted police on Aug. 14 to report that the man had sent her two nude photographs of himself via text. “There was a conditional offer of employment made to this particular applicant,” Elmhurst Police Chief Michael Ruth told the Tribune. “My understanding is they’ve rescinded the offer of employment.” The victim received the texts while at home in suburban Elmhurst. The texter told police the nude selfies were all a mistake. According to the police report, the offender was contacted and “admitted to sending the photographs, explaining they were actually meant for another individual and were sent to the victim in error.” Police advised the job seeker to “cease any contact with the victim.” Although the victim did not pursue charges, the unnamed company has decided not to hire the sexting jobseeker.

Dateline: Texas

In other selfie-related mishap news, a 19-year-old Houston man accidentally killed himself while posing for a selfie with a gun. KPRC News-2 is reporting Deleon Alonso Smith, a father of two, was struck in the throat with a bullet as he took a picture with his cell phone in one hand while holding a gun in the other. According to relatives Smith was one day away from starting community college. Investigators told KPRC that Smith’s cousin was in another room at the time the gun went off. The cousin told police they found the gun earlier in the day. No charges have been filed, but Houston Police are attempting to determine the origin of the gun.

Dateline: Texas

A Texas State University co-ed has become famous (well, internet famous) after she took to driving a tiny, pink Barbie Jeep around campus. Tara Monroe, 20, says her license was suspended and her father took her car away after she refused a Breathalyzer test during a DWI stop following a Waka Flocka Flame concert. “Riding a bike around campus sucks,” Monroe told the San Antonio Express-News. And in case readers didn’t understand, she added, “Like, really sucks.” So instead of riding a sucky bike around TSU campus, Monroe opted for a battery-powered Barbie Jeep she bought for $60 off Craigslist. Pictures and videos of Monroe driving around San Antonio in the child-sized Jeep have gone viral on social media. “This is the best way I could have gotten my 15 minutes of fame,” Monroe said. “Basically, it was the best decision I’ve made in college, yet.”

Dateline: Maine

A little thing like a police chase and a car crash didn’t stop a suspect from getting his high on. Topsham Police Sgt. Robert Ramsay told the Portland Press Herald an officer saw 44-year-old John Yates pull his SUV into a breakdown lane on Interstate 295. The officer got out of his cruiser, but before he could could speak to the motorist, Yates pulled suddenly back into traffic, nearly hitting a semi tractor-trailer. Ramsay said a slow-speed pursuit ensued, ending when Yates hit a guardrail and crashed into a ditch. According to the police report, Officer Randy Cook approached Yates’ vehicle and witnessed him pull a can of Dust-Off keyboard cleaner from under his seat and begin huffing it. At that point Cook removed the keys from the ignition and arrested Yates. He was charged with operating under the influence of drugs, driving to endanger, failure to stop for a police officer and civil possession of inhalants.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.