Alibi V.25 No.16 • April 21-27, 2016 

Odds & Ends

Odds and Ends

Dateline: England

A British court has ruled that a woman from Wales cannot name her baby daughter Cyanide. The woman, whose name was not published for legal reasons, gave birth to twins some eight months ago. She wanted to name the boy Preacher and the girl Cyanide. The woman later said in court she thinks Cyanide is a “lovely, pretty name” and that the deadly poison has positive associations because it was “responsible for killing Hitler and Goebbels, and I consider that this was a good thing.” Unfortunately for her, local officials objected. Back in September a family court judge ruled against the mother, saying she was not acting to secure her children’s welfare. The mother challenged that ruling, saying it was her human right to choose her children’s names. Earlier this month three Court of Appeal judges upheld the prior ruling. One of the justices, Eleanor King, said it was “one of those rare cases” in which judges should intervene. “It is hard to see how ... the twin girl could regard being named after this deadly poison as other than a complete rejection of her by her birth mother,” King said in her judgment. According to King, the woman has a “chaotic history” of drug abuse and mental health problems, and her children have been placed in foster care. The court ordered that the names of the twins now be chosen by their three older half-siblings.

Dateline: Canada

An indoor pool in Vancouver, British Columbia, opted to close down on Wednesday, April 20, in order to avoid an event organized by a group of marijuana enthusiasts at neighboring Sunset Beach that could have turn the pool into a massive hotbox. The “4/20” event was expected to draw approximately 25,000 people—which sent staff at the Vancouver Aquatic Centre into a panic, fearing their maxed-out ventilation system would suck up the smoke, turning the building into a gaint water bong. “It’s not possible to shut down intake fans,” park board chairwoman Sarah Kirby-Yung told the CBC. “Given the tens of thousands of people expected to be around the Aquatic Centre smoking marijuana that day, we are sensitive to that intaking into the building.” Organizers for the massive “smoke out” say the event has increased in size every year, which is why they decided to move the event from its 20 year home at the Vancouver Art Gallery to Sunset Beach. Kirby-Yung told the press she has been “encouraging” organizers to find a different location for several months. “From the park board’s perspective, and I really want to stress this, this is an unsanctioned event. This is a non-permanent event, and it is classified as public protest,” said the board chair. “It really doesn’t fall under the jurisdiction of the park board.”

Dateline: Scotland

A worker at the BrewDog craft brewery in Ellon, just north of Aberdeen, played a prank that got 200,000 cans of beer recalled. But instead of getting fired, he was named “Employee of the Month.” The UK’s Mirror newspaper reports BrewDog packing manager Graeme Wallace got mad after the company was accused of not being “punk” enough. Taking matters into his own hands, Wallace changed the expiration date wording on the bottom of some 200,000 Punk IPA cans to read “Mother Fucker Day.” The cans were shipped out to the whole of the UK, and soon beer drinkers were posting images of the altered labels on social media. “Have to take all these beers off sale because someone had a bad day,” wrote one Imgur user. A spokesperson for BrewDog later confirmed, “At another company someone responsible for a prank like this might have been given the heave ho. At BrewDog, Graeme was awarded Employee of the Month.”

Dateline: Florida

A woman who allegedly attacked her husband after discovering his dildo will not be prosecuted for domestic battery, according to a court filing in Manatee County, Fla. According to the website The Smoking Gun, 48-year-old Chao Gao was arrested in mid-February on the misdemeanor charge following a confrontation with her spouse, Joshua Sinclair, that left him with bruises and scratches on his face. At the time of the incident police reported that Gao discovered the sex toy among her husband’s belongings as the couple was moving residences. Sinclair admitted to officers that Gao attacked him after learning that “a dildo she found was actually for me to use.” Sinclair, who married Gao just over a year ago, said that his wife was driving to their new home when she began to “beat and slap and pinch my face with her hand repeatedly.” While Sinclair gave police a written statement detailing the battery, he signed a waiver of prosecution the next day. Earlier this month prosecutors in Manatee County filed a notice that they would not be pursuing a battery charge against Gao.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.