Alibi V.29 No.8 • Feb 20-26, 2020 

Sex and the Burque

Ask a drag queen your burning questions in Alibi’s exclusive advice column

Sex and the Burque

I have a pretty typical problem. I go to a lot of different sex parties at a lot of different locations, along with the occasional orgy a few times a month. The thing is, I keep running into my ex at almost every one. We did not part ways amicably, but it's not like I can stop him from going. I, on the other hand, don't want to stop going either. Even though we don't speak, the awkwardness is a bit overwhelming and it has started to affect the mood (orgies are supposed to be sexually expressive and fun!), but I am happy he gets to see me looking better than I ever did while we were together. I guess that's my real problem: How can I know for sure that he understands how much better I look now?

Proud PrEP Slut

I feel obligated to state that it is most important that you realize how well you are doing without your ex and how much better you feel now that it is over. But obligations aside, let's talk about how you can be the belle of the ball or the cock of the walk, as it were, at these gatherings. To gain the most attention, make sure that you are holding court in a highly visible spot, possibly right in the thick of things. I would not actively seek out your ex because direct eye contact at this point may be quite awkward. Once you notice their presence, proceed how you would normally, partaking in the debauchery as you see fit. Maybe this is the time to be more vocally responsive in your activities? This is sure to gain his attention. Seriously, at the end of the day, do what you went there to do and don't be concerned with what your ex is thinking about your performance. "Dance like no one is watching," as they say.

Party On,


I consider myself versatile, but if I'm being totally honest, I only top when I absolutely have to. So far it hasn't been a problem. I get with other versatile guys and we take turns. My issue is that I find myself falling for someone who is very much a total bottom. We've talked about moving our friendship into more of a relationship thing, but we both believe strongly in monogamy and he's not willing to top, even for me. I really do like him, but should I give up the one thing I love sexually more than anything else for love?

"Vers" Bottom Boy

This is the age-old question: Is sacrificing sex that I enjoy worth the love I get in return? This is a rather personal answer and it just depends on how important sexual fulfillment is to you. Communicating with your partner and letting them know that you care for them but aren't getting what you need sexually from them may help. Stating basically that they need to give what they get. In relationships, sacrifices and compromises need to be made. The question is what are each of you ready to do for the other? My first response was to end the relationship if you are not getting what you want, but I think it is important not to ignore matters of the heart. Start a conversation and see where it leads.



I'm gay, but I'm not a cliché. I don't have a lot of shoes. However, I have (no lie) enough shirts to wear a different one every single day and not repeat for at least a year and a half. I do thin the herd occasionally, but I end up buying more shirts anyway. My issue is I have actually broken my closet at my old residence once and my current place twice. The weight on the closet pole was just too much. I'll be moving to a new place soon (my moves are unrelated to my closet issues) and I want to know ... Do you have any advice on how to reinforce closets or make them more sturdy?

Out of the Broken Closet

Unfortunately, I am not a carpenter. I have a team of lesbians that helps me with all of this (you know who you are and I thank you!). Closets and I have never really gotten along since I came busting out of one in my late teens. May I suggest using a dresser or a chest of drawers?

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