What I Had For Lunch

Shrimp Heads

There were two left over.
There were two left over.

In the first place, I don’t claim to be any kind of a sushi expert. I don’t know a thing about it other than possessing a willingness to eat raw fish and other weird foods from other cultures, including but not limited to Arby’s. That having been said, I know it won’t protect me from ridicule.

I’ve had lots of delicious sushi when other people were ordering, but I never really paid attention, so when I went for sushi today I just picked one thing at random and told them to bring me five.

So, when my meal came out I found myself staring at a large platter of ten battered shrimp heads that I had no idea how to eat. I dutifully dug the guts out of eight of them with my chopsticks before asking for a doggy bag, paying $70 and leaving in shame. It was a light lunch, to be sure, and also absolutely disgusting. The first few morsels were fine, but deeper in the cavity there was some kind of organ - I don’t know, the brain or maybe the shit-sac - with a gaggingly pungent flavor that will haunt me forever.

Everyone in the place was looking at me. I heard one guy whisper to his friends, “That guy must really like those things, huh?” And they all laughed.

When I got back to the office, everyone let me know that you can eat the whole thing… but how was I to know? Torn between two lovers, feelin’ like a fool.