Dude Porn Poll

Rex Richtenstein [ Thu Apr 15 2010 2:40 PM ]

Exhibit A: Natalie Portman slaying all dragons and non-dragons alike with that devil-may-care smile. Love.

What is dude porn? Well, that’s not really subjective at all, as if it’s naked—or close to it—it most likely qualifies. And this includes a wide variety of things; not just limited to beautiful ladies.

Today, I’m pitting three drop dead gorgeous specimens against each other in a battle royale to determine who wins the 2010 Super Duper Bonerific Dude Porn Award.

(Disclaimer: Not all dudes love ladies, exotic cars, power tools, good beer, dirty jokes, loud farts, blowing up bathrooms, yelling at television sets, throwing heavy objects at said television sets, video games, fake fighting, real fighting, saying the word “bro”, graphic porn, etc., but many do, and everyone can participate!)

Exhibit B: Ferrari Enzo. Featuring more brawn and brains than a Rosie the Riveter and Sir Isaac Newton lovechild. She seems a little high maintenance, though.

Exhibit C: Schoolgirls. Wrong, perhaps. But oh so right.

Public Comments (9)

- marisa
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um ... schoolgirls? [ Thu Apr 15 2010 2:43 PM ]

the pope might have something to say about this.
then again, maybe not. he doesn't talk about pedophilia, generally.
- Madmammajamma
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Well, Natalie Portman does have that paper on "Frontal Lobe Activation during Object Permanence" [ Thu Apr 15 2010 5:39 PM ]

which I will [link] to and that's pretty hot, but she doesn't have a top speed of 220mph. So that's a wash. But the Enzo doesn't bleed out its vag like Natalie Portman or school girls so it probably wins.
- jaybee
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what? No Dudes? [ Fri Apr 16 2010 8:20 AM ]

Where's the Man Love?
- black
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Can't Post.. [ Fri Apr 16 2010 9:08 AM ]

..too busy perusing porn.
- sloppy
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jaybee, you want exhibit C [ Fri Apr 16 2010 11:02 AM ]

Exhibit C is the man-love. Here's the logic:
School Girls (presumably underage)
->
Perhaps they're Catholic school girls
->
Catholic church says their pedophilia problems are caused by "gay priests" and overall has the position that homosexuality and pedophilia are basically the same thing, totally interchangable, indistinguishable phenomena.
->
Anyone underage that anyone wants to do, must therefore be a boy
->
Despite appearances, exhibit C is a photo of schoolboys
->
Gender double-standard: unlike women, men can be sexy at any age (Sean Connery's Law).
->
Man, boy: same thing.
->
Exhibit C is a photograph of manly men in disguise. Probably lumberjacks.
- DarcyBennet
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Sloppy... [ Fri Apr 16 2010 11:46 AM ]

When will the next session of your Cultural Math course start? Must make room in my schedule.
- christie
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Sloppy ... [ Fri Apr 16 2010 1:20 PM ]

... is my hero for today.
- marisa
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Yeah! Way to battle cliche! [ Fri Apr 16 2010 1:24 PM ]

Nice work, Slops!
Last edited [4/16/10 1:38 PM]
- black
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Still can't post.. [ Fri Apr 16 2010 2:59 PM ]

..now too busy developing a man-crush on Sloppy's brain.