Pronoia News Network
An excerpt from Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia
By Rob Brezsny
Exclusive! The Beauty and Truth Laboratory reports the news before it happens!
In this special Pronoia News Network report, our psychic journalists bring you the stories that haven’t happened yet—but will!
A new breed of well-read, charismatic homeless people will arise. They’ll spread understanding and laughter through their communities, and will be routinely feasted in the homes of grateful citizens.
The recovered memories movement will take a bizarre turn when many adults begin to recall under hypnosis long-suppressed memories of joy and peace experienced when they were children.
The average length of an act of heterosexual intercourse in America—which is currently only four minutes—will jump to 22 minutes.
The government will pay subsidies to some lawyers so they won’t practice law—much as it now pays supermarket chains to keep cheese off the market when there is too much and the excess would bring prices down.
Scientists will confirm Plato’s belief that besides eating, breathing, sleeping and mating, every creature has an instinctual need to periodically leap up into the air for no other reason than because it feels so good.
Jill Cohn • indie, singer-