Captain Edward England Merriweather’s Severely Abridged Planktionary
chiroplanktor: noun – a person who adjusts a planker’s spinal alignment during a plank. (e.g., “Your arms aren’t straight in that photo. Where was your chiroplankter?”)
flanking: verb – the art of creating a fake plank in an obviously impossible location or circumstance. (See illustrations.)
formal planking: verb – planking during a formal event, specifically in formal attire and conspicuous locations.
permaplank: verb – to die. (Hardcore plankers get buried face down.)
planking: verb - lying facedown, straight as a plank, with one’s arms at one’s sides.
plank/flank skank: noun – a person so addicted to planking/flanking that he or she is constantly planking/flanking and will plank/flank anything.
plankoff/flankoff: noun – a situation where two plankers/flankers compete to create the most incredible plank/flank.
plankophile: noun – a person who doesn’t plank, but watches others plank and enjoys looking at planking photos.
plankout: verb – holding a plank position for such a long period of time that one falls asleep. (See also PWI.)
planktographer: noun - a person who takes photos of people planking for later posting on the Internet. (Must be affiliated with the planker to qualify. See also plawker.)
planktronica: noun - music with perfectly timed rhythm and an uplifting feeling to assist with a person’s planking.
plankwich: noun – a horizontal pileup created by people planking on top of one or more plankers.
plawker: noun - a person who stares at or takes pictures of plankers but is not affiliated with them.
plunk: noun - a flunked plank. (See also replank, chiroplanktor.)
PWI: noun - planking while intoxicated.
replank: verb – to plank the same location again in order to correct a plunk or get a better photo.
splank: verb – aka “ass planking.” To plank with your bare ass showing. (For this type of planking, Union suits with snap flaps are advisable.)
steamplank: verb – to plank while wearing steampunk regalia. (Highly respectable steamplanking has been documented on the top of airborne dirigibles.)
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