alibi online
Free Will AstrologyAlibi's Personals
 
 V.20 No.32 | August 11 - 17, 2011 

Feature

Captain Edward England Merriweather’s Severely Abridged Planktionary

Fig. 1   POTUS flank
Fig. 1 POTUS flank
chiroplanktor: noun a person who adjusts a planker’s spinal alignment during a plank. (e.g., “Your arms aren’t straight in that photo. Where was your chiroplankter?”)

flanking: verb the art of creating a fake plank in an obviously impossible location or circumstance. (See illustrations.)

formal planking: verb planking during a formal event, specifically in formal attire and conspicuous locations.

permaplank: verb to die. (Hardcore plankers get buried face down.)

plank/flank skank: noun a person so addicted to planking/flanking that he or she is constantly planking/flanking and will plank/flank anything.

planking: verb - lying facedown, straight as a plank, with one’s arms at one’s sides.

plankoff/flankoff: noun a situation where two plankers/flankers compete to create the most incredible plank/flank.

plankophile: noun a person who doesn’t plank, but watches others plank and enjoys looking at planking photos.

plankout: verb holding a plank position for such a long period of time that one falls asleep. (See also PWI.)

planktographer: noun - a person who takes photos of people planking for later posting on the Internet. (Must be affiliated with the planker to qualify. See also plawker.)

planktronica: noun - music with perfectly timed rhythm and an uplifting feeling to assist with a person’s planking.

plankwich: noun a horizontal pileup created by people planking on top of one or more plankers.

plawker: noun - a person who stares at or takes pictures of plankers but is not affiliated with them.

plunk: noun - a flunked plank. (See also replank, chiroplanktor.)

PWI: noun - planking while intoxicated.

replank: verb to plank the same location again in order to correct a plunk or get a better photo.

splank: verb aka “ass planking.” To plank with your bare ass showing. (For this type of planking, Union suits with snap flaps are advisable.)

steamplank: verb to plank while wearing steampunk regalia. (Highly respectable steamplanking has been documented on the top of airborne dirigibles.)

Fig. 2   Spring break flank
Fig. 2 Spring break flank

Fig. 3   King cobra flank
Fig. 3 King cobra flank

Fig. 4   Moon flank
Fig. 4 Moon flank

Fig. 5   Scimitar flank
Fig. 5 Scimitar flank

Fig. 6   Thrilla in Manila flank
Fig. 6 Thrilla in Manila flank

Fig. 7   Mustache flank
Fig. 7 Mustache flank

Fig. 8   Edward Hopper flank
Fig. 8 Edward Hopper flank

Fig. 9   Blue meth flank
Fig. 9 Blue meth flank

Fig. 10   Shark Week flank
Fig. 10 Shark Week flank

Fig. 11   Death metal flank
Fig. 11 Death metal flank
 
Join our mailing list for exclusive info, the week's events and free stuff!
 

  • Select sidebar boxes to add below. You can also click and drag to rearrange the boxes; close using the little X icons on each box. To re-add a box you closed, return to this menu.
  • Because you are not logged in, any changes you make to these boxes will vanish as soon as you click to another page. If you log in, the boxes will stick.
  • alibi.com
  • Latest Posts
  • Web Exclusives
  • Recent Rocksquawk Discussions
  • Recent Classifieds
  • Latest User Posts
  • Most Active Users
  • Most Active Stories
  • Calendar Comments
  • Upcoming Alibi Picks
  • Albuquerque
  • Duke City Fix
  • Albuquerque Beer Scene
  • What's Wrong With This Picture?
  • Reddit Albuquerque
  • ABQ Journal Metro
  • ABQrising
  • ABQ Journal Latest News
  • Del.icio.us Albuquerque
  • NM and the West
  • New Mexico FBIHOP
  • Democracy for New Mexico
  • Only in New Mexico
  • Mario Burgos
  • Democracy for New Mexico
  • High Country News
  • El Grito
  • NM Politics with Joe Monahan
  • Stephen W. Terrell's Web Log
  • The Net Is Vast and Infinite
  • Slashdot
  • Freedom to Tinker
  • Is there a feed that should be on this list? Tell us about it.
    Brazilian Independence da
    Brazilian Independence da9.5.2014