Alibi V.24 No.6 • Feb 5-11, 2015 ››
Alibi Sex Survey
The Alibi’s 3rd Annual Sex Survey
Our readers open up
Sex. And numbers. Together once again. And why not? Some numbers are sexy already. “69,” for instance, has its fans. “3” is popular, or so I’ve heard. Many of our readers seem to enjoy sex with “420.” Even simple old “1” shouldn’t be underestimated. And we all know that “2” can be very sexy.
Add a percent sign, and things start to get interesting. Take 29.56; that’s the percentage of our respondents who unabashedly share their sexual fantasies with their partners; add in 45.45, the percentage that “sometimes” shares them, and you get a whopping 77.01 percent who don’t mind letting their partners know exactly what turns them on. Is it hot in here, or is it just us?
Getting hot and bothered by naughty numbers is what our 3rd Annual Sex Survey is all about, and once again we are thrilled and stimulated by your eager answers to our probing questions. With the results of our online survey finally in, we’re going to take a close and very personal look into your bedrooms. And cars. And even a few park benches. ()
How frequently do you masturbate?
More than once a day: 2.19%
At least once a day: 10.58%
Multiple times per week: 36.5%
At least once a week: 20.8%
Once or twice a month: 14.96%
Less than once a month: 8.76%
Never in the last six months: 3.28%
Do you have your period right now? Are you having satanic cramps? Take a tip from the majority of our readers and masturbate! Planned Parenthood suggests masturbation to help alleviate the awful muscle tension during your cycle. But don’t feel left out, dude guys; according to the University of Sydney, regular masturbation might reduce the risk of diabetes and insomnia. And if periods and insomnia and diabetes prevention aren’t enough to encourage the 2.92% of you who “never” masturbate, let’s throw in some politics. In 1994, after suggesting masturbation be incorporated in sexual education, Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders was fired by Bill Clinton. Take a stand against wrongful termination and for righteous self-pleasure! ()
Which sex toys do you use?
Cock ring: 26.29%
Nipple clamps: 12%
Butt plug: 21.14%
Anal beads: 9.71%
Penis sleeve (eg., Fleshlight): 8.57%
E-stim device: 4.57%
Penis pump: 1.14%
Sex doll: 0%
Bondage gear: 21.14%
Sex pillow: 5.71%
Sex sling: 2.86%
Ben Wa balls/Kegel toys: 10.86%
Feather tickler: 9.71%
Orgone accumulator: 1.14%
As indicated by our question, there are a lot of choices when it comes to toys. Fortunately, the enthusiastic and well-informed Matie Fricker, co-owner of Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center, is the perfect person to help you find a new favorite. “People expect higher quality toys these days,” Fricker said. “That’s the way it should be. You should invest in pleasure as much as other things you care about.”
For fans of the Fleshlight penis-sleeve, Fricker recommends the new Tenga Flip Hole, designed by Japanese engineers to make it “much more responsive to sensation.” Those folks into public partner play should check out OhMiBod’s BlueMotion app-controlled remote vibrator, complete with super-sexy (and super stretchy) blue lace panties. “Everyone is used to people playing with their phone. No one is gonna think a thing,” Fricker said with a grin. Looking for a different toy for some lovin’ times this February 14th? Not to worry. Fricker says that the shop is “working to have at least one new toy in each section by Valentine’s Day.” ()
Do you mix alcohol and/or drugs with sex?
All the time: 8.39%
In the ’60s, all we wanted to talk about was sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll. These days, the discussion is about sex, drugs and consent. The Alibi spoke with Bianca Villani, community education and outreach manager for the Rape Crisis Center of New Mexico, to get her thoughts about the question of drug and alcohol use during sex.
Villani defines consent as “not the absence of a no, but the presence of a yes.” And why is consent so important? According to Villani (and your writer), we all “have a moral obligation to be a good person. If you’re engaging in sexual activities ... you want it to be exciting and you want it to be mutual and informed; that’s the whole concept of healthy sexuality.
“If somebody is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or anything else that could cause them to be incapacitated, they cannot make an informed decision about their sexuality,” Villani said. “You can’t gain consent from a drunk person.” ()
Do you engage in sexting?
We like sex, and we like our phones. These interests were bound to collide eventually. Whether it’s some super-explicit chat, a friendly 8=====D just to say hello or a few sensual selfies to get the heart racing, a clear majority of our respondents don’t mind mixing their love life with their data plans.
Of course, like every other behavior grown-ups engage in, there’s a sexting etiquette that must be obeyed. Unsolicited sexting is a straight-up no-no. And you should never, ever share any sexy communiqués, whether bawdy banter or come-hither photos, that were sent to you with an expectation of trust and discretion. In other words, don’t be an asshole and you should be fine. You know, like with most things. ()
Have you ever caught a sexually transmitted disease?
Yes, don’t remind me: 25%
Sometimes they’re crazy hot. Sometimes they can leave a mark on your skin to remember them by. Sometimes they can completely change your life. I’m talking, of course, about STDs. And you should be talking about them too—with friends, family, partners, medical professionals or someone like Frankie Flores, a staff member at the UNM LGBTQ Resource Center. When I asked Frankie why regular STD testing is so important, Flores replied, “It's important for us to get tested because we can only be empowered with knowledge. I think it's vital that when we talk about consent and sexual awareness, we include in that discussion a full disclosure. We need to talk about our histories, our statuses and our levels of experience so that we can have meaningful and fulfilling sexual experiences.”
Whether flying solo or as part of a unit, STD testing is an integral component of a healthy and open sexual life. In fact, Flores said, “We should have dialogues about getting tested. There is this fear that people don't want to get tested with partners because it implies distrust. I think it's the opposite. If we are in a trusting relationship, we should be able to go with them and get tested with nothing to worry about.” So where can you go? New Mexico AIDS Services, Truman Health Services and the Midtown Public Health Office. Flores mentioned that free, confidential rapid HIV testing is also available at the LGBTQ Resource Center every second and fourth Tuesday from 2 to 4pm. ()
Besides genitalia, which body parts are the sexiest?
Our readers like to gaze soulfully into the eyes, those crystalline windows of the soul, those shimmering pools of allure. But right after that, they want to check out your ass. And your boobs. So much for romance. Our “other” category instigated a bunch of feisty input this year, with several castigating us for leaving out that most erogenous of zones, the brain. The shoulder contingent was also out in force, with one reader asking, “How did you guys forget the shoulders?” ()
What is your biggest turn-off?
Body odor: 11.88%
Poor hygiene: 26.05%
Bad breath: 6.9%
Bad teeth: 4.21%
When it comes to love, it pays to take a shower and brush your teeth. At least that’s what our respondents told us this year, with a cumulative total of 44.83 percent indicating that potential lovers really need to pay attention to cleanliness and hygiene. Oh, and try not to be a stupid, arrogant, overweight smoker with bad teeth. The “others” in this category offered up turn-offs that ranged from common sense (“moral bankruptcy”) to the more personal (“if they eat meat”), with one “vanilla sex” thrown in for good measure. ()
My secret turn-on is ...
The first of our catch-all categories received a huge number of responses. And just like sex itself, they range from sweet and tender to rough and taboo-shaking, with a few truly odd answers sprinkled throughout.
Here are the ones that made us go “Awwww ...”:
“When I’m kissed on the back of my neck,”
“Playing in the shower”
These ones made our pulse rates go up:
“Girls with dark nipples,”
“Getting down in public,”
”Not touching any explicit spot, but a light caressing of my skin”
and “Getting my ass slapped.”
And these made us feel like we were in way over our heads:
“Clothespins and Saran Wrap,”
and “Biscuits and gravy.” ()
My sexiest experience ever was ...
Our respondents have had some very sexy experiences, and they were happy to share them. Some of our favorites include:
“Having oral sex at the Blue Ranch historic site in Big Bend National Park.”
“Having sex with my ex-boyfriend while I made out with his ex-girlfriend in the coat closet at the Launchpad.”
“Having my best friend watch my husband and I have sex.”
“Playing strip Clue, sharing a bottle of wine with my best friend (female) and glow-in-the-dark bubbles.”
And our most favorite of all: “Sleeping with someone I actually cared about.” ()