Crib Notes: Nov. 14, 2013

\ Nov 14, 2013

2 min read

1) Who has been “heralded by many as the best New Mexico football player of all time,” was given a lavish, jersey-retiring halftime ceremony on Saturday and says he plans to open a sports bar near his old stomping grounds?

a) Don Perkins

b) Brian Urlacher

c) Stoney Case

d) Terance Mathis

2) Which local public school bureaucrat totally undermined the political position of district employees by publicly acting in a thoroughly boorish and unprofessional manner that some fear symbolizes the failure of the APS administration?

a) Brad Allison

b) Joe Vigil

c) Winston Brooks

d) Beth Everitt

3) A groundwater aquifer test conducted at the end of October near Bullhead Park marks more aggressive efforts by the US Air Force to clean up what threatening mess lurking nearby?

a) A broken portal into another dimension

b) A debris field containing remnants of alien spacecrafts

c) An abandoned French restaurant on Gibson Boulevard

d) A plume of jet fuel that could poison the City water supply

4) A UFO seen floating above Burque on the evening of Sunday, Nov. 3 reportedly resembled ______________.

a) A Flying Burrito Brother

b) A cigar

c) Winston Brooks

d) The RV from “Breaking Bad”

5) A new ordinance empowers local authorities to seize the vehicles of citizens who engage in what illegal activity?

a) Mocking the right-wing with reasonable arguments

b) Referring to sopaipilla syrup as honey

c) Soliciting prostitutes

d) Criticizing education reform

Answers

1) B. Former Lobo and NFL great Brian Urlacher visited Albuquerque to accept honors bestowed on him by the University of New Mexico athletic program. During an interview with local media, Urlacher discussed his plans to open a sports bar here in Burque.

2) C. Albuquerque Public Schools Superintendent Winston Brooks was suspended for three days after taking to Twitter last week to compare New Mexico Education Secretary-Designate Hanna Skandera to a variety of barnyard animals.

3) D. The KAFB Nucleus reports that the test is a significant step forward in remediating the fuel plume that has been leaking into the ground for more than 40 years.

4) B. According to an account published at ufostalker.com, the unidentified flying object was cigar-shaped.

5) C. Under a recently enacted law, the city may seize the vehicles of individuals who have been accused of violating municipal anti-prostitution statutes.