Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
2 min read
Seems lately when I’m obtaining a beverage out of friends’ fridges, I’m noticing jugs of Aloe Vera juice. Granted the first jug I saw belonged to someone whose father maintains a colostomy bag. A few weeks later I’m grabbing a Shiner Bock at my brother’s and there in the bottom shelf is a gallon of Aloe Vera. Sure, I’m tempted to have a swig of what I normally would apply to skin, isn’t everyone? But the jug’s still sealed, so I move on to my barley pop. Aloe juice seems like a reasonable nouveau organic product one would find at wild foods or whole oats, but a few days ago I’m near the vitamin aisle in Walgreens and there the aloe jugs are, next to the mineral oil and *ass creams. Pretty soon you’ll see it at 7-eleven? My experience with Aloe Vera has always been one of external use; sunburn relief, small wounds, rug rash, etc., and they make a nice house plant.Now it seems it’s become a wonder elixir like from an old medicine show, and I’m getting really thirsty, yet doubtful, just thinking about the Possibilities. But for all I know it has been a beverage of choice for years, especiallyfor people with acute and not so cute health problems and organic sophisticates. I hoist the aloe jug decisively to the Walgreens cashier and pay $9.99, thinking I could have had a V-8 for $2.99/gallon. It’s a hot August afternoon,and after drinking half a glass, I mix this sublime liquid with OJ, which issuggested on the label; the aloe doesn’t have much taste, a little salty andit’s not a gel…(hmm, reminds me of something) more consistent to a lightmineral oil with organic tendencies. Anyway I dig it, AV Juice is refreshing, habit forming, good for the booty, good for the goose, and there’s no watering involved(except watering it down a little). You can feel the nutrition going down, and of course there’s a web site.For a dissimilar dietary point of view, I recall lyrics by seminal punk band J.F.A:cokes and snickers is all I eatcokes and snickers is all I needHealth sucks, Health suckshttp://www.jfamusic.com/