Slathered In Love

The Alibi's Fifth Annual Valentine's Day Card Contest

Amy Dalness
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4 min read
Vacuumed-sealed for maximum pleasure
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Artists have toiled for millennia to capture the essence of true love. Alibi readers have done it for the past five years with ease.

In the weeks leading up to Feb. 14, our offices fill with professions of undying admiration, heartfelt pleas for forgiveness and downright begging for some "special" attention (none of it aimed at
Alibi employees, thankfully). These tokens of eros are mailed (or walked) to we messengers of Cupid for the Alibi’s annual Valentine’s Day Card Contest. Using talents bestowed upon us by Aphrodite and the Muses, we select the most creative and inspirational to be reproduced in this, our most sentimental of issues (nevermind the themes of death and mutilation that kept cropping up in this year’s entries).

Many thanks to fellow judges Christie Chisholm, Marisa Demarco, Laura Marrich, Simon McCormack, Devin D. O’Leary and Jesse Schulz for their help sorting out the victors. All winners will receive perfect-date prize packs available for pickup at the front desk of the
Alibi office (413 Central NW), Monday through Friday between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Or call 346-0660 ext. 255 to discuss delivery options. Cheers to all who participated—we could feel the love.

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Vacuumed-sealed for maximum pleasure

First Place

Anthony Carpenter’s Valentine’s Day card made of seared flesh stole the judges’ hearts immediately. Who can say no to love-meat? Really,
who? Anthony’s use of a sliced deli ham (vacuum sealed—our judges’ nostrils thank you) to proclaim his hampy appreciation of Valentine’s Day gave us a hankering for love … or a sandwich. Anthony will receive two tickets good for any show at the Guild Cinema, $20 in Hinkle Family Fun Center gift certificates, $50 for eats at the Calico Café and a $10 gift card to Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. We hope this hot-date prize package helps you seduce someone into loving your ham as much as we do, Anthony.

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XOXO, stab, stab, stab!

Second Place

Jonathan Perea, you freak us out—in a good way. Perea’s blood-lusting bunny Valentine’s Day message is one of unconditional love, no matter how gruesome. A few of the judges were slightly alarmed by the blood-like splatter on the inside of this card, but we all agreed Perea’s hand-painted creation is well-executed and unsettlingly adorable. For second place, Perea will get two tickets to the Guild Cinema, $20 in gift certificates to Hinkle Family Fun Center, $30 to the Calico Café and $10 to the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. Kisses … and stab!

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True love on the run

Third Place

Zombie love.
Aaaah , how romantic. The next time a zombie tries to eat your brain, focus on the bright side—the foul creature could be your soul mate. Michelle Miller’s valentine resembles those “traditional” cards passed out every year by children in elementary schools across the U.S., an attribute the judges appreciated for nostalgic and practical reasons. Michelle gets two tickets to the Guild Cinema, $20 in gift certificates to Hinkle Family Fun Center, $10 to the Calico Café and $10 to the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory for her third-place win.

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Let’s get it on

Fourth Place

We received a number of collage entries covered in glitter, lipstick kisses, feathers, press-on fingernails and bits of
Alibi issues. The judges had a hard time choosing which glue-slathered card was the most appealing, but finally picked Richard Martinez’ all lust and no love cut-and-paste beauty. For fourth place, Richard will receive two tickets to the Guild Cinema, $20 in gift certificates to Hinkle Family Fun Center and $10 to the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory.

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I dipped my thumb in paint for you!
Please fill to the line before discarding.
Hit me again, baby.
Puppy wuff

Honorable Mentions

"The Print" by Sara Nelson

“Valentine’s Day Barf Bag” by Marie Killebrew

“Hello, I’m an Addict” by Claudia Gallegos

“Sammy, I Wuff U” by Tomas Maestas

XOXO, stab, stab, stab!

True love on the run

Let’s get it on

I dipped my thumb in paint for you!

Please fill to the line before discarding.

Hit me again, baby.

Puppy wuff

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