A few weeks ago, I blogged that “Battlestar Galactica” was my boyfriend. Ah, for the halcyon days of youthful love. Things now aren’t quite so clear, as BSG is doing its part to piss me off. The past few weeks concern a mutiny, not over the failure to find Earth, but the successful finding of Earth. So Earth turned out to be a radioactive craphole once populated by Cylons (which I guess makes you and me and your mom Cylons, but no one seems interested in this). So what’s the logical solution? Mutiny! Which just might be interesting if the show hadn’t have done the EXACT SAME PLOT BEFORE!!! So, no figuring out “what the hell Starbuck is and why she’s dead on Earth but not dead in not-Earth.” No “if Earthlings are Cylons what does it mean to be human” self-exploration. Nope. A mutiny. Led by, of all people, Lt. Gaeta. People like to talk about how annoying Wesley Crusher was (yes, I am unleashing some serious geekdom here)—but you know who’s more annoying than 20 Wesley Crushers singing ‘good morning’ to the tune of “Happy Birthday” in your ear after you’d been out all night having drinks named for volcanos? Felix Gaeta, who’s grumpy about losing his leg after being shot by Sam (who turned out to be a Cylon). And why was he shot? BECAUSE HE TRIED TO MUTINY!So, “Battlestar Galactica,” I’ll give you one more chance. But you have to know that “Lost” and I are developing some pretty intense feelings for one another, and there’s been discussion of making it exclusive. If you want to have a shot with me (and trust me, it’s worth it), you’re gonna need to bring it up a few notches. I want Dean Stockwell to unleash some vengeance (with a possible cameo by Scott Bakula). I want Baltar to stop being boring. I’m open to suggestions about what else I want, as well. Good day, BSG.
I’m Sad Because Earth Sucks—Let’s Mutiny
“Battlestar Galactica” And I Need To See Other People.
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